She watches my IG story daily AIBU to msg her

[neveraskingtime]

A friend of my late DP views my story everyday without fail. I haven't spoken to her since before the funeral after everyone in DP's orbit was strictly instructed not to associate with me. Those who did speak to me at the funeral were unfriended by the family.

I spoke to her a days before his death to arrange for her to visit him as I thought she might be able to help get DPs life back. His closest friends were actively addicted, so I wanted her (and his old group of mates) to replace them and help him recover.

It's been nearly 3 years now and she doesn't follow me but does check my story daily and has done daily for about 2 years.

I suppose it's possible that she's passing on information to the his circles but I honestly can't imagine they would be interested in what I'm doing after so much time.

I have not been able to retain a single link with anyone from DPs life because I think the general consensus is that I (indirectly) caused or contributed to his death, and that view was expressed but thankfully shut down immediately by the coroner at the inquest with no further inquiry or exploration along that line.
So....do I reach out?

Oh christ I know who you are. No don’t speak to them block immediately they speak about you on a group chat.

God this makes me worried about what some of my vague acquaintances think of me. If I go in Ig, I just absentmindedly swipe through the stories. There are some work people who are regular posters who pop up again and again. I swipe past but they always seem to have some story up. I really wouldn’t like them to be overthinking about why I view their posts. There’s no reason. I wouldn’t search them out if they weren’t at the top of my screen.

The fact you’re posting public stories on a daily basis and checking who’s viewed them shows you are setting little bait traps, hoping to catch out the people who are curious about your life. My best friend does the very same thing.

They reported a lot of things about me to the coroner/police including my appearance at his grave and a selfie -- and that's just the things I heard about so no doubt there was more that I didn't learn of.

It probably means that she's looking for gossip. Block or lock down your profile.

I see the late night nasty ones are out on MN again.

I already had this suspicion to be honest. Is there any reason why? They were all noticeably absent at his inquest where the coroner was insistent that I played no hand in his death. Makes me feel kind of special that they have a dedicated chat about me.

Even 3 years on? What would there even be to say at that point about our 6 month relationship. Did they ever add you to it? Presumably they dispute the coroner's findings if they STILL have a grievance with me.

So you were only actually together for 6 months? How long after you met did you move in together?

Off topic

@neveraskingtime his ex has their child thankfully. I think I was more sad at having to say goodbye to the child thankfully my ex, dc was a smashing kid and I grew very attached. His mum was pretty amazing though and didn’t blame me at all. I actually contacted her when I figured out my ex was driving with him in the car off his face ( one of the many things we argued about) because I feared so much for his safety. I think he blamed me to a degree for being stopped from seeing him but I knew he would.

I know right? Barely a boyfriend surely at 6 months?

We lived together and had 2 miscarriages. I received the full bereavement payment from the dwp.

Very simple. Block/restrict or set profile to private. I wouldn’t reach out. Then I’d move on.

But in this case, she doesn't follow her. The person viewing her stories is having to purposely seek out her profile every day, it's not just popping up on her feed as so many PP have said.

However I do think it's incredibly strange that OP hasn't just:

Made her profile private (who WANTS random people seeing your shit?)
Blocked the person viewing her stories

This is 3 years after a 6 month relationship. It's a bit strange imo

Just deleted this as cross posted!

im really sorry for what’s happened in your life OP, I definitely think moving on is the best thing for you, what with all the bad feeling from his side 🤍

If you absolutely have to bring it up, I’d maybe just ask how she was doing & just mention you noticed she’d viewed your story that day, I wouldnt say you’ve been checking for years!

Ooofe! Hive it off in your mind under the title, 'Mad and a bit sad' and then get on living your lovely life. They will move on to someone else soon perhaps.

Just trying to understand what a timescale could be for meeting someone and them coming across as 'clean' while you were dating them, you deciding to move in together, after which you find out they are addicted to drugs and alcohol, you carrying on with the relationship despite this, and then within 6 months of meeting he died of an overdose. I thought from your initial posts it was an established relationship.

Yep you're right he was nothing to me but a dalliance

I think you made choices that many people wouldn't have.

You know everything

6mths? That's like 5 minutes in relationship terms 🙄

"Took him to NA meetings, flushed his drugs, made ultimatums, performed drug searches"
That you decided to make this your life after barely knowing him, including trying for a baby, indicates that the issues in this 'relationship' went far beyond his drug use. His family owe you nothing, you were a stranger even though you seemed to fully throw yourself into 'saving' their child. You dealt with it for 3 months, they'd obviously been at it a lot longer.
Unless you love the drama, leave it be. The person is being nosy, not wanting a 'connection' with you. Truth is, his family and friends are likely the ones bonded over this, they're not going to let you in. Much better for you to seek your own support to help you in the way you need

I can't understand why some posters are beimg so nasty.

Love isn't always easy or straightforward. Don't apologise for that.

There's a reason you aren't blocking her. You need to ask yourself why that is.

Don't contact her. She knows how to contact you if she wanted to.

OP you can adjust Instagram stories so some are only seen by 'close friends' which are a list you can make in your settings. So you could be default change your settings so only a smaller, select group of people see the stories (unless you manually toggle the setting for an individual story to be public for all).

never asked them for anything. In fact we had to block the Mum on all 10 of the phone numbers she kept ringing my family on, including her pub's local landline.