She watches my IG story daily AIBU to msg her

[neveraskingtime]

A friend of my late DP views my story everyday without fail. I haven't spoken to her since before the funeral after everyone in DP's orbit was strictly instructed not to associate with me. Those who did speak to me at the funeral were unfriended by the family.

I spoke to her a days before his death to arrange for her to visit him as I thought she might be able to help get DPs life back. His closest friends were actively addicted, so I wanted her (and his old group of mates) to replace them and help him recover.

It's been nearly 3 years now and she doesn't follow me but does check my story daily and has done daily for about 2 years.

I suppose it's possible that she's passing on information to the his circles but I honestly can't imagine they would be interested in what I'm doing after so much time.

I have not been able to retain a single link with anyone from DPs life because I think the general consensus is that I (indirectly) caused or contributed to his death, and that view was expressed but thankfully shut down immediately by the coroner at the inquest with no further inquiry or exploration along that line.
So....do I reach out?

You absolutely can on Instagram. It's called a Close Friends List. It filters out who sees your stories. Maybe not the main grid posts. But definitely stories.

Give it a google. Very easy to set up for anyone who is interested

I think your time would be better spent having counselling and trying to move on. No good can come from this. Block and move on

She's spying on you op not trying too reach out.
Block her or sort your settings or stop posting.

Also posters here need to look at themselves this is likely a vulnerable person no need to tear her down

I'm sorry, @neveraskingtime , AIBU is such a cesspit. People fall over each other to try and give the most vile reply. I'm sorry they're also too stupid to understand Instagram.

I have seen this situation play out a couple of times at close quarters and it's hideous. I know it's a cliché, but all of the people pointing a finger at you, have 4 fingers pointing directly at themselves. As a PP pointed out, they are simply scapegoating you to assuage their own feelings of guilt. His own family involved him in drugs and alcohol from a very young age. Imagine going into the coroner's court and trying to blame someone else.

With regards to the person who checks your story every day - is it someone you feel may be less toxic than the others? If so, you could just send a simple 'how are you doing' message and see if they respond. I'm so sorry you're in this position which was not at all of your own making. People can be hideous. I went to the funeral of an addict. The toddler DC was running around and child's mother was banned from the funeral because the death was 100% her fault. She had kicked him out for being abusive and she was blamed for his death. Again, the coroner would not have a word said about this. It's just denial because people feel so guilty that they couldn't change the outcome, or indeed, may have contributed to it.

Honestly just change your profile to private, why would you want someone that's not in your life lurking on your stories?

Ok, you're quite spiky. I've been nothing but kind to you, now am out.

Of course it's nasty. You could've written the above explaining your stance instead, but no you had a nasty dig about being boring. You're entitled to of course but have the courage to own it. God sake.

They sound insane.

Maybe this person has come to her senses.

Hey guys, @SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack told me that she recognised me from the details and told me there's a group chat about me.

I had already theorised this was the case so I tested this theory and posted some photos of some incredibly cringey messages that a woman who declared herself to be DPs true love of her life sent to my partner's account hoping I'd see them, when they never had any sort of relationship.

Overnight I have had a flurry of views on my stories from DP's people who believe I killed DP or at least caused his death.

@Thesafetygeneral

I don't think the OP has said she doesn't want this person to see her stuff. She's said on a couple of occasions that she's not bothered by this person reading her stories.

I think she created the thread to get a feel as to whether she should initiate contact with this person.

I think its overwhelmingly plain to see that you enjoy the chaos....

Message her about what?

If you'd like to be friends with her then okay? But it seems like there's a shit ton of backstory here.

If you're getting annoyed that she's viewing your stories, just make your account friends only, or just block her.

Most likely, she's just mindlessly nosy.

All this does is just sucks you back in and frankly prevents full closure for you.

You don't need any of these people or need them sneaking around your Instagram stories for gossip. Frankly the whole lot sound like a bunch of jobless childish idiots TBH.

You need to block them all and maybe stop posting on Instagram, focus on your sanity and life, maybe counselling to help you work through all this and move on from them.

I do suspect that you will not do this as you seem interested in and enjoy the drama and trying to confirm why they are talking about you etc. Either way I wish you the best and I hope things work out for you.

As others have said it makes no sense going on about how you're a teetotal who has a zero policy on drugs yet staying with a drug addict and trying to have a child with him. You can see all the mess and drama life with a drug addict can lead to, even after his passing away you're still sucked into stupid drama from his friends and family. And that's aside from the trauma of having to deal with his drug addiction, trying to get him clean then he not only does but have to face accusations from his family and friends that you had a hand in his death etc, surely you can see how all this was not worth it?

But maybe not given your comment here which is pretty childish and confirms that you enjoy the drama: "I really don't mind if people are gossiping about me, I gossip about other people all the time"

She probably is not actively looking at your story - if you are putting it on the carousel that appears at the top - I scroll through this daily and it just brings up anyone I am following that has posted - I often flick straight past some but it would register that I have 'viewed' it.
If you don't want her to see than just unfriend her.

Just read new update OP, ok so you know they are talking about you in a WhatsApp group… now what?

Do you want to continue feeding their gossip or cut them off? You don’t talk to them, they aren’t your friends, why are you allowing them to take up mind space 3 years after your DP passing?
Now you have your proof of them talking about you… block them all.

Pack it in.

This is just an attention seeking, drama causing behaviour.

You may well have some valid points but sinking to the same level isn't going to help anyone.

Why would you choose to have all this shit in your life still? Unless you enjoy it on some level?

Did you take drugs with him?

She’s already answered this

Some IG feeds just loop the same few accounts. She might be clueless as to how to prevent or alter that. If she clicked once or twice after the funeral, the IG algorithms will decide she likes your feed. It's probably a passing thing she spends little time on, as she scrolls through IG.

I see certain accounts on FB every day that are of little interest to me, but FB decides they are. I can't be arsed to put in the effort to re-educate FB and let it know what really interests me, so I just read them in passing with low interest and maybe occasionally heart some good news or nice photo. I'd hate an acquaintance or friend from decades ago to think I had an unhealthy interest in their lives because of this. SM stories are public viewing. Don't overthink it.

There is no point feeding the drama. Keep them out of your life, they will be wishing all sorts of harm to come to you. Honestly you don't want them anywhere you, just block them once and for all. It was a 6 month relationship. It sounds very traumatic but it's time to move on.

so sorry love, just block them all. They are scum of society. It wasn’t your fault.

I'm just getting started.

I'm going to share every harassing message his friends and family have ever sent to me following his death.

Maybe I will even post the medical file in which he describes his upbringing as unstable and drug-filled.
You’d post his private medical information to get one up on them?
Thats despicable.

His words, not mine.

If only you knew what they'd been up to. Calling my work place, telling them I'm a prostitute and that I was arrested for assaulting DP, trying to get me fired, reporting me to the police for 'murdering' him, showing up at my house and my neighbours, calling me from 10 numbers day and night.

You don't get to take the moral high ground now that I've finally had enough of your shit.

Anything I post will be documented facts, not my own opinion.

But you won't actually achieve anything will you? You will just reinforce their already very low opinion of you. You gain absolutely nothing.