To not want to talk to my neighbours?

[Oncemorewithsome]

Until very recently we lived in a city. Where we have come from, neighbours generally don’t speak to each other. On the rare occasion someone has stuck around for a while, we might give a polite nod to each other or an ‘alright. In my area this is all very normal and not considered rude.

We just moved to a town. The new neighbours stopped to talk for about 20minutes. I am now feeling very claustrophobic about the whole idea of living with imposed socialising whenever you put the bins out. I really have no desire to chat to my neighbours unless there is some issue.

I know, I know I’m a grumpy old so and so…. But it’s honestly made me feel a bit worried. Do people talk to random people all the time in towns? What if you’re feeling rubbish and just want to get a job done are you obliged to stop and chat when you see people you know? The rules all seem different!

We're all here for each other so know we'll get help if we need it. I wonder if those people who don't speak to anyone would still expect them to help them out in a crisis.

Why is it important?

You're right, but your "village" doesn't have to be your immediate neighbours or people who just happen to live on your street.

I just don’t see what’s so difficult about saying “Hello! Isn’t it a lovely/windy/wet day! Sorry-in a rush can’t stop!” Wave and leave.

Are you also glad about all the people that are suffering loneliness and MH issues ( which can be connected)

Hmm some of my actual friends were neighbours first. That's how I got to know them

Minute of lives? Where did I say that?

So tell me if you were house hunting and you went to view a place the neighbours are irrelevant? You wouldn't notice if they had reform flags on every window. Or if they were shrieking , effing and blinding? None of that would make the slightest difference on whether you made an offer in the house? Ok if you say so

In the current climate, you may one day find it very useful to know your neighbours. You don't need to be friends but I would encourage you to be a good neighbour.

Outside of the obvious things you listed, how are you supposed to ascertain whether the neighbours are the type to keep themselves to themselves, be satisfied with a smile and a nod or expect newbies to join in with everything? Please enlighten me

Why ‘in the current climate’ ?

Supply chain issues, potential food shortages etc. Wasn't trying to offend anyone

But why is it important to know your neighbours in those circumstances? One thing we learned from COVID is that people will trample their own mothers to stock up on toilet paper, and fuck what everyone else needs

Reform flags ffs. Rather see those than the deviants mobs that go after our kids.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with being friends with your neighbours if that’s what you want. I was just responding to the suggestion that people left lying dead for weeks end up that way because their neighbours don’t check on them. Surely it’s a much bigger worry that they don’t have anyone else close enough (in the non-geographical sense) to care?

Do you have to speak consistently for 20 minutes at every interaction. I have one neighbour who is quite chatty but I use body language to make it clear when it's a, "hello" and straight back inside or stop to ask them about themselves. I find people like that and then you are free to go.

If course not lol. But nothing wrong with " hello hope you are ok . Bit chilly today isn't it" and move off.

But some people obviously think that's " intrusive" and " people getting involved,,"

And how would you know if you were buying a house next to these deviants

Well maybe they'd been so antisocial that everyone had ditched tgem

I live in a huge city. There is a lot of neighbour my chat. If you’re not keen be polite but keep walking/ moving.

A smile and hello isn’t intrusive (especially as it can be easily avoided by pretending not to have seen) until it turns into someone taking that as their cue to bend your ear for ages after.

Because presumably not wanting to talk to randomers means that they couldn’t possibly have friends and relatives that they are close to. 🙄

Jesus Christ - and we say young kids are growing up with no social skills. Is it any wonder when their parents are even too anxious to chat to a neighbour for 2 minutes.

Arent all friends " randomers" to start with though?

Cant do much if you dont have family members

But some people seem to think it is. And you can always just say" cant stop, busy day" and move away with a smile

But friends and neighbours are separate entities to most people in the same way friends and colleagues might be.

It is possible to have many friends but still not bother with neighbours