AIBU to be fed up with my in-laws' reverse one-upmanship?

[GreenPoppies]

I know I'm not being unreasonable because making disparaging comments about someone elses choices is always rude but does anyone else get so annoyed by reverse one-upmanship?

My in-laws are the ultimate in this. We are going on holiday to Portugal in August and they are flabbergasted that we are flying. "But why can't you just drive? It's so brilliant. We love driving. The views from the motorway are second to none. I don't understand why you're flying" Because, Not-So-Dear In-Laws, we have 9 month old and a 2 year old, and 2-3 days of driving is neither comfortable nor practical. "But just do it all in one go, it's only 24 hours if you drive non-stop, you'll be fine, it's so much fun, I don't understand why anybody would fly there in 2 hours when you could drive there in 24! Such luxury!".

We took our (then) 18 month old camping last year in our 4 man tent. "you sat on CHAIRS?! Oh wow, that's crazy, I can't believe you sat on chairs, we would just sit on a tesco bag. And that tent may as well be a castle, we just prop up a tarp and sleep under that, no need for sleeping bags, it's so much fun to camp without all the unnecessary extras".

We were once on a walking holiday with them and I mentioned (didn't make a fuss or anything) that I needed to stop at a shop. When they pressed ("why on earth do you need a shop? Just sustain yourself on beer for 3 days!") I said I needed some plasters as a stone had got into my walking boot and rubbed my foot raw, I'd bled all over my sock. I was made out to be the most precious princess ever, to this day I'm ribbed about "can't even do a 6 hour walk without needing a plaster the next day! We just walked through the blood!"

I'm getting fed up of gritting my teeth and putting up with it. I've bitten back a few times and told them to shut up if they can't say anything nice but again, I'm seen as 'dramatic' and it's ignored. I now try and avoid them but obviously they are my kid's grandparents and otherwise not bad people so needs must.

It feels like they assign a moral worth to anyone who does not suffer like bloody Christ on the cross! I'm a second rate human being because I fly, camp in a tent, use plasters and god-forbid breathe bloody oxygen. The fact I've run 10+ ultramarathons (so fully know what discomfort feels like) goes ignored....

Arghh I feel better for that rant now :)

I do hope you peg them up to dry between uses?
You mean you only use a teabag once?
We use ours until they are dried out and beige and the pot tastes better with every use.

Spot on! Like 'we lived in a cardboard box in the middle of a roundabout'!!!!

My MIL does an altered version of this. In her version luxuries are needed/fair enough for her whilst the rest of us are wasteful and profligate if buying anything vaguely normal. I remember her telling us we were wasting money when we got fitted bookshelves as some bricks and planks would have done the job. We had a baby and a toddler at the time. We were also not asking for her opinion nor funding re said bookshelves. Another occasion she'd been going on and on about this new restaurant she visited with "the girls". When DH and I decided to go out for a meal she asked why we didn't save money by having some fish fingers (wtf?) at home. I kid you not.

Family bingo all the way now. The kids are adults and teens and we all know the mantra. "You don't need ..... I need .....!"

In my late 20s I stopped feeling the need to have any discomfort that I can afford not to have. People's definition of comfort varies, but whatever ours is, we should revel and yes, luxuriate in it. I love being comfortable.

There's also the comedy sketches by French and Saunders with the catch phrase Stuff and Nonsense. Something about loosing a leg and too much fuss was made of it, so they just carried on doing whatever they were doing.

I bet they are doh g it to wind you up and are laughing about it afterwards. 🫠

OMG this is a bit like my inlaws. If I do anything they will say why are you doing it like that?! SIL does it like this and she research's everything so she is right. SIL is their daughter. 🙄You should do what she does! SIL was using dummies for her children, I didn’t want to. Both SIL’s kids now have protruding teeth and need braces. My kids are fine. I rest my case.

Perhaps they have! 😁

That Yorkshire men video needs adding to your family WhatsApp group with “🤣🤣🤣 sae this and immediately thought of you!” Then every time they start you can chime in “a hahaha- you’re being like those Yorkshire guys from Monty Python! Aren’t they funny children! Hahaha!” Every time. Get them Monty Python Yorkshiremen t shirts for Xmas. Keep it going until everyone calls them it!

wait til you go to Tenerife

they’ll be straight onto booking themselves to Ninerife

😂

You should give a really mad reply every single time!lol Tell them you're considering hitch hiking to Portugal with the kids and next time you go camping you will all lie under a hedge as you enjoy being at one with nature

You need to reverse Elevenerife the shit out of that.

“You’d sit on a Tesco bag no we’d only be ones for giving Aldi bags a go”

”No air mattresses for us we were thinking of sleeping the babies directly in the wet ground”

“Sailing to Portugal, we were thinking of doing the full Camino de Santiago starting in the Pyrenees walking all the way down to Portugal once we can get the toddler into his new walking boots”

I’d have great fun with that shit but I’m pretty petty 😂🤣

See also every MN wedding thread ever, where somebody will claim that they spent thruppence happenny on their wedding, wore an old bin bag they found blowing about in the park instead of a wedding dress, the reception consisted of the groom handing round a bag of crisps in the registry office car park, “and everyone said it was the best wedding they’d ever been to so I don’t know why modern couples spend a fortune on an actual ceremony and reception”

Really go for the baffled slack-jawed confusion right back at them. Sit on a tesco carrier bag? Why not dig a trench?

They sound insufferable. But I enjoyed the laughs OP, so please keep sharing!

I went through a period of getting really awful pass-agg gifts from MIL. In the end, my sister and I would absolutely wet ourselves about them!! The only way to get through 😂 She likes me again after a decade of this, so now I get nice gifts, but I kind of miss the fun.

I mean they're grandparents 🤣
Even if they're young grandparents,
Old age will come knocking, and they won't know what hit them, at least according to my previously very fit dad. He's 75, and he's realised that he's finally slowing down.

This! It often feels less “rude” than a snappy comeback (which isn’t necessarily rude if they’re being insufferable…)

Time for a good old Mumsnet Tinkly Laugh (TM) and “yes, I guess we’re just lazy!” or “Sorry, we’re just quite boring people really! DC will have to stay with their grandparents for their wacky hijinks adventures” or “You’re lucky I didn’t call an ambulance and demand the paramedics amputate my foot right there - I must just have a ridiculously low pain threshold”.

And have coal dust for breakfast..EEE but we were Appy.

I see the MP sketch has already been quoted.

They sound utterly infuriating. I would find it hard not to do some of the comments people have made above. They are so much fun.

But if you want another grey rock answer, then how about, 'I do love the way human being are all different and enjoy different things. It keeps life so much more interesting doesn't it? ' To just about anything they say.

Please tell us more! I have friends like this and they drive me spare...

Just come back here to update us on the bingo...so sorry..you did make me laugh though.. id reply yeah yeah and you walked 15 miles bare foot uphill to school in the snow too I know and roll my eyes EVERY TIME

Lean into it. Say 'flying is amazing, you've inspired me to upgrade, we're even going to take extra flights while over there, might nip over to Spain for a few hours'
'Actually, drop me off at the next shop, thanks, you going on about my injury has inspired me to get a huge bandage.'

It will break them.

As the late great Alan Whicker said, "Any fool can be uncomfortable."

OP when they boast next time - tell them you're off soon this summer to walk the 600 miles long Empty Quarter across the Arabian Desert - without any supplies or water of course! And it will only take you a day or two.