To wonder why people seem to often know their neighbours less well now?

[Giselle374]

I've been thinking about this. My grandmother was a teacher and parent in the 1960s and 70s, and she was friendly with most of the neighbours. She had had years off when the kids were young (though she then went back and worked full time as a teacher) so maybe this helped give her more time to befriend the neighbours?
I've seen some articles say women not being temporary or permanent SAHMs as much is a factor, but I'm sometimes a bit sceptical as some seem to have an agenda of women working being bad. Also puts all the onus on community networking onto women rather than their husbands..

There's surely other reasons...moving is more common, for one. Collapse of community institutions which might have facilitated neighbour friendships more. And the lack of secure housing, renting more common etc In some cases, second homes meaning the residents aren't there a lot of the time (my DM' neighbours, for one)

Yes, I do think women working more is good overall but I also think working hours & pressure are too long and unrealistic often. As you say, if you're always catching up, there's less time for off the cuff socialising. Also think kids' extracurriculars often put too much pressure.

I wonder how much neighbour friendship was a female thing in the past? Since the men were out working. Arguably their hours may have been more reasonable too then to some extent..

And also agree with another poster. Once I stop doing the school run since I work from
home I won’t be seen out much at all. Like a recluse.

The back garden sure but unless you are going to really shout over the fence that isn’t going to work either. I don’t do the front garden dh does.

I think the no other social outlet point is important. SAHMs might have had clubs/groups etc but now a SAHM has the internet & can find stuff that way, may do stuff online...can WhatsApp friends who live further away etc

I think a lot of it probably is that all the adults are working and so people aren't home as much. That's not a critique of women working its just a side effect of it. Also there just seem to be less young kids about at anyone time when I grew up 8 out of 11 houses had young families in them now in the same street there is only 2 houses with young families. In my street there is only one house with young families and lots of older or childfree couples.

When you have lots of young kids in the street they are out playing in and out of each others homes the parents more likely to chat. Men used to work on their cars out front and chat that way, now I rarely see anyone work on their own car except to give it a clean.

I suppose on a personal level I don't really want to get overly involved with my neighbours, I prefer a bit of privacy and space. I have family close by and that is enough intrusion and interaction for me.

The men weren't sharing the load at home so they wouldn't have been as exhausted either, although I don't remember my dad/grandad doing as much chatting with the neighbours anyway.
I think children's activities will be a part of it, and the way they socialise in general. When I was little I was playing out on the street with local children and parents would be popping out to check on us. I don't see many children playing on the streets now. I do wonder if that has led to increased antisocial behaviour too, we learned how to act in public when we were little and parents and neighbours were monitoring from a distance. Teens now start socialising when they get to high school with friends from different areas and no parent in sight, they've missed out on the earlier stage of playing out alone.

I know loads of mine

Live in a village and have kids in local school but chat over the fence to older neighbours too.

I think friendly neighbours still exist, esp if you have shared interests like kids or gardening.
Not for me though....one side doesnt speak english and the other is an unstable drug addict!🙄

No, I am meaning they have their hands full with young children and work perhaps. I find this to be the case where I live anyway. Some have more time to themselves than others.

Not amongst my mum and her neighbours.

less time

I wonder whether the growth of supermarkets might also be a factor?

no more bumping into people at the greengrocers. No more getting to the shops on the morning because they close at lunchtime or aren’t open on Sundays.

We can all stop off at Tesco on the way home from work. Or get it all delivered. We’re simply not out and about as much previous generations.

In my case it's because the only people who talk to me are Scouts and Guides. Was cutting the front hedge with MIL and a neighbour of mine said hello to her but looked the other way when he came to me.

That's a good point. I actually think a move towards less reliance on cars would improve a lot of things. People were probably healthier due to walking more to supermarkets, and less cars meant kids were safer playing outside.

I read somewhere - can't remember where - that short interactions with people who aren't friends or even acquaintances (like neighbours you chat briefly to if you bump into) are a lot more important to wellbeing than previously thought.

I'm a sahm. I love one neighbour but I knew them before we were neighbours. Another I like but don't really chat to but if I needed help I'd feel comfortable asking.

The people opposite are unfriendly and blank us. The people to our rear are actively horrible.

This, definitely work can demand more due to phones which doesn't help.

People drive more than walking so don’t bump into neighbours in the street in passing and don’t let their kids play out so they don’t meet other kids in the street which is how the parents meet etc.

Yes, I understand. They aren't the only ones on the street who have or have had young children and work full time though.

This sounds a bit like my area, though I live in a city suburb not rural area. Wish it were different...

This...it surely does for some, but how common is that?

Stuck within walking distance of home - wouldn't train & bus have been available for some? 2 cars certainly must have helped a lot, though.

We moved to our estate 16 years ago we were both working full time and never saw the neighbours. A lot knew each other because they had bought new houses together five years previously and mostly had young kids so bonded. We got to know them a bit in lockdown and are now on hello terms

This

This

People are more selfish today they think nothing of moving in and pissing off their neighbours.
There's less respect and care, but having said that there still are people who get on with their neighbours .
I know someone who is still friendly with their old neighbours, they move away but they still see one another. Alot of it's dependant on the people involved.

this is very true !