Shocked by DP arranging for a woman to join us in the bedroom

[Aprilsun2]

I’ve changed my name for obvious reasons.

I have officially lost it with DP. We have been together for a few years, and he has always made it clear his ‘fantasy’ is to involve another woman in the bedroom. I’ve always said it’s not my thing, which he says he respects and that’s why it is just a fantasy.

On Saturday we were out, fairly drunk and he brought this up again. I laughed and said ‘never say never’ - very much jokingly.

Fast forward to yesterday. We were having dinner and he said ‘remember on Saturday you said you’d be open to introducing someone else. Well I have a proposition’. I firstly said I didn’t recall saying that, and secondly asked what on earth did he mean.

Basically, he explained he had ‘found’ someone who’d be willing to join us. This is someone online with a few hundred reviews on a website and photos of her wearing next to nothing. He said it would be at his expense.

I was speechless initially then I hit the roof, I told him how dare he go behind my back and think something like this would be appropriate.

He meekly apologised, but said he took my answer at the weekend to be a positive one and got carried away.

Am I wrong to be completely astounded at his actions?

He's just her boyfriend, thank God.

Not for the threesome either, thats fine if all parties for it, for the involvement of a prostitute. Seems he wants to cuck you.

Guys gotta go ☢️

🙏🙏🙏

Ohhhh the fact this is a topic of conversation at work would be the final straw for me.

Basically, he explained he had ‘found’ someone who’d be willing to join us. This is someone online with a few hundred reviews on a website and photos of her wearing next to nothing. He said it would be at his expense

How gallant of him to pay for the prostitute. A true prince.

Fucking hell.

He's awful but saying this was the green light to him laughing makes no difference.

Christ, what a prick. That’s so grim that not only did he keep badgering you when you’d made clear it wasn’t your thing, but as soon as you made light of it when he mentioned it yet again he dived straight in. What a cunt.

I’d be tempted to string him along and cancel the woman and instead see if you can hire a man and explain it’s your fantasy to see him fucked up the arse. See how he likes that. But in reality, best to dump his sorry arse.

Fucking porn has a lot to answer for

ewwww

esp 'personal "recommendation from an old colleage"

bleurgh!

This would give me terminal ick.

If you've said no many times, it is because he kept asking, grim.

Leave him, he is looking at prostitutes, next step is a threesome without your invite.

He's jumped quite a lot of guns there, starting with interpreting "never say never" as "Yes, sort it out immediately."

Even if you had said yes, prostitution is not something I would want to be involved with. I like consent to be freely given.

I have been up for threesomes in certain circumstances, and I think it says a lot about men (not positively) that they think finding a third person who is up for it is enough. They seem to be surprised that that isn't enough for me. But just like I don't fancy every man, and I don't fancy every woman either, so any arrangements needs to involve all parties. I also like to know about recent STI tests and things like that, which most men don't seem to think important. I'm also a busy person, and I'm not dropping a night out with friends that took ages to arrange because of finding a time we're all free just because a man got busy online and didn't think to ask me if I'm available. They need to communicate and most of all, they need to check consent for all people in the given circumstances.

But, most of all, he should really have checked what you meant before doing anything, because he's just wasted everyone's time.

From how you have described it OP , it sounds like he could have 'recruited' this woman via sites like adult work. It's like 'check a trade' ,but for sex workers 🙈. So there will be reviews from previous punters and a clear outline of what she has to offer. These things can be arranged easily / quickly.but I bet my bottom dollar he has either used SW before or has sought someone out until you show a slight bit of 'interest' in his fantasy. He sounds vile in my opinion and has no respect for you in the slightest.

Does he ever mention A T M?

Is he as quick to sort out other things? Presents, nights out, washings?

Right!

If you mentioned you'd like a weekend in Paris one day would he leap onto the internet to book it all within 24 hours and consult old colleagues for ideas on where to have dinner?

Yeah, it's LTB time. He's obviously very much into this whole thing and likely won't let it go, so even if you haven't already contracted a serious case of 'the ick', I wouldn't be surprised if he continues to mention this fantasy. Meanwhile, in the back of your mind, you'll be unable to forget that this is what he secretly (well, not-so-secretly) wants and is imagining. You'll also wonder what he's already done and with whom. He's so desperate for it that he's grasping at straws to try to make it happen. He sounds deeply unattractive in every way that matters.

What on earth is there to consider? This is a man for whom no means maybe, and maybe means definitely yes.

No self-respecting woman would willingly go within one hundred miles of him.

Wait, so you’re not married? There is no long term commitment here?

OMG! Get yourself out of this ‘situationship’ while you can!!!!

Like he's 'treating' you.

The fact that she's on one of these websites shoes she's not 'independent'. Who do you think owns these websites? Who makes money off of them. There's always a digital pimp.

And that point aside, would her profile really say 'I'm trafficked and coerced' if she was?

So he’s sourced a prostitute, for you to have sex with? This is divorce material, it’s only going to get worse.

You aren’t sexually compatible.

Also, he’s a fucking dickhead.

Leave him.

Ha, yes! Totally this.

I went out with someone equally fixated on threesomes when I was much younger. He bored me shitless about them until I couldn’t take it anymore and told him to fuck off.

He once refused to walk to the shop over the road to get me paracetamol when I had a broken wrist as he was “too hot” but man, if I’d had said there and then, “you know what, a threesome sounds great, let’s do it tonight”, he would have been off his arse and trying to find someone like shit off a shovel.

These stupid little men are such a waste of space.

You were drunk. That sort of thing needs a very sober conversation before going ahead with anything. What a dickhead he is.

'He said it would be at his expense'. 😄

You are completely right to be mindblown over this. It's horrible and its beyond obvious that you were joking. I can't believe he did that. If you wanted to leave over this and everything it signifies noone would blame you.

Oh wow jusf seen this, come on girl, just send him a f--k off' text and get on with your instantly better day!