To tell friend she can't come on holiday if she doesn't pay her share?

[Glitterinthegrey]

My friend and I agreed to go on holiday together in May half term. It's me & my teenager, and her & her three children aged between 11 and 16.

I booked it, and she was meant to give me half of the money. The final date for payment came and she said she didn't have it, so I paid it on the understanding she would pay me back.

She's now saying she won't be able to afford their train tickets if she has to pay me, too. Neither of us drive, so we holiday in coastal towns with good links.

I'm in a better financial position than her, but I still have to work and save to afford holidays. I don't mind subsidising her by paying more than my share, but feel like excpecting me to pay the whole lot is taking the piss.

Would IBU to tell her they can't come if she doesn'tpay at least some of the cost? It feels mean, but equally I don't want to be a doormat.

Farage’s great-great grandfather was a German immigrant. He also seems to quite likes immigrants when he is married to them.

You do that....👏

She is not your friend op, she is a user!

Is she a piss taker, or has she been skint? In other ways, is she a good friend? If she's spent on things that she didn't need to, while not paying you, then if you are ok with the friendship ending, she doesn't go. Posters on here often don't get what it is to not have spare money. Speak to her, ask what's gone wrong in budgeting for the holiday and take it from there.
@ItTook9Years we now know that are qualified medical staff, particularly doctors can't get jobs in the UK, because of a drive for recruiting from outside. We could get to a point were we rely less on immigrants in the NHS, it should never have been a policy anyway. It will take years, but the rhetoric that we'd have no NHS is ridiculous. There will always be a skills exchange. But we can't carry on poaching doctors from countries were they are needed.

What are you even on about?? What’s this got to do with the state of the country…and overrun by what? 😂😂

The NHS was founded on migrant workers. I agree about the utter shambles of medical and clinical training and recruitment but suggesting migrant workers aren’t a cornerstone of several vital services is very naive.

You will have a better holiday without the family of scroungers even in the expensive accommodation. Remember every drink or ice cream you buy for your DC you will have to buy 3 or 4 more for them.

If she has to pay YOU too?

Does she realise that is paying the accommodation providers? She makes it sound as if she would be doing you a favour.

What is your main objective?

How would you feel if she didn’t come? You’d still be left with her share of the bill.

If you want / need her to pay you what she owes you, can she get cheaper travel on a coach?

Is there any chance another friend could come instead and pick up her share? Don’t say that if it isn’t likely, you’ll still end up paying the lot.

If it is a cash flow issue is she trustworthy and organised enough to pay you back over 3 months, say?

She will be the reason her kids don’t get a holiday. Not you.

You're not the reason, she is!

Clearly she isn’t trustworthy, as she has had multiple months to pay what was agreed up front?

It’s likely that the OP has booked a larger holiday home/caravan/rooms on the basis that there were 4 more people coming so is out of pocket if she is not paid, but also, from what she has said about them both only being able to afford. A Uk seaside holiday, it is likely that the money her friend was meant to pay was intended to go towards her own train travel and the costs of the holiday. Ie OP is shafted which ever way she slices it?

I agree with this.

If she can’t pay her share, you need someone else to come instead otherwise you’ll be short.

Also agree you were generous to go 50:50!

You're not, their mother is the reason they don't get a holiday.

And this is how the OP needs to phrase their next conversation with her friend.

She's going to assume that you'll say "Oh well, don't worry, I'll cover it" so you need to go for "Oh crumbs, so now I'm on the hook for all the money, argh! I'll have to see if I can find someone else to come with to cover what you were due to pay."

she would be the reason.
I doubt she had any intention of paying.
I would rather kiss goodbye to that money than let her get away with this.

When she tries to guilt trip you, remember she chose to take the piss. She expected you would just suck it up and pay for her

Exactly this. She's no friend doing this. I hope you have others @Glitterinthegrey ?

You might find that she miraculously comes up with the money when she thinks she might lose the holiday.

I still wouldn’t want her to find the money now. I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned up without enough for food/activities.
She thinks you should pay because you only have one child and she had three.

This woman has deliberately set out to make you pay for a holiday for her and her children.

You are not the reason her kids won’t get a holiday seriously give your head a wobble is she seriously expecting a free holiday for her and 2 kids. This isn’t a friend. Not being able to afford the travel is the least of the worries. Best to just go on your own if she can’t afford it. You would resent her massively if you are picking up all the bills.

I often go on holiday with friends. It would never occur to them or me to subsidise the other if one set couldn't afford it. It would just be a simple, 'oh, that's a shame'. Is she used to paying for things herself? Does she rely on benefits etc?

Very possibly, yes, but god help OP if they go now, with one teen of her own and the "friend" having three almost-teens

Not easy to treat your own to something if the others are standing by sadly when mum whines that "Ooooo I wish I could afford that for mine"

Explain you disappointed she agreed to come on the holiday when she couldn’t afford it.

Very possibly, yes, but god help OP if they go now, with one teen of her own and the "friend" having three almost-teens
Not easy to treat your own to something if the others are standing by sadly when mum whines that "Ooooo I wish I could afford that for mine"
This I suggested earlier that OP will have a better holiday by themselves even if costs not split.
A nest of cuckoos with their beaks open and Mrs sparrow trying to keep up.

But you're not the reason.
Their mum is.