Partner spending weekend fitting ex wifes bathroom

[user1467973151]

If your partner was fitting a bathroom for his ex wife for 4 months spending a large part of every weekend doing this, what would ypu think?
For reference they have been divorced years,definitly just a friendship, adult daughter (28) lives there also.
Been together 4 months, bathroom was started before we met.
We are very serious about eachother and very happy with him.
But this is upsetting me now.
Spending all day sunday and sunday evening there until around 8pm.
Meaning Saturday is his only day off. He is constantly tired because he works really hard then this on top. Which means hes often tired and not willing to do things saturday evenings with me due to being up early to do this room.
We went for a meal Saturday night but was asleep by 10pm and up at 7 ready to do the room. So i feel its impacting the whole weekend. He also spent easter sunday and bank holuiday monday there while i was alone.
Am i right to feel annoyed?

The replies on here are hilarious. All of the women acting as if this wouldn’t bother them. 🙄

I've seen such things happen. It doesn't mean he's shaggjng her. It does mean he hasn't got over the loss.

So I think not ready for a new one.

Quite. I can’t imagine ANY woman (in real life) being ok with this

He’s doing a favour for daughter and ex. Just make it clear there can’t be more projects

I’d say this gander is cooked. What good for the goose should be good for the gander. Yours doesn’t trust you but says you should trust him. So I would end it if my new partner told me who I could meet and what I could do especially my children and their friends and family.

I don’t mind him doing the bathroom but he must be a rubbish at DIY if it has taken him at least 16 days and probably more like 30 full days so far!

If your partner was fitting a bathroom for his ex wife for 4 months spending a large part of every weekend doing this, what would ypu think?

I'd think he was either the slowest bathroom fitter in the world or there was something else going on.

Well that’s tough shit. It can’t be one rule for him and another for you. But seriously. Just ditch him

Agreed. Fitting a bathroom, stripping the old stuff out, re-tiling walls and floor, couldn't take more than10 working days even if you were taking your time and just doing a couple of hours a day. Working 7 hour days it would be finished in a week!

Do you really need to come here and ask about this?
He sounds awful.

At 4 months in you should be in the real honeymoon phase not moaning about him spending time with his ex & being told by him that you can't see your own ex husband.

Just leave it, it sounds like too much hassle & drama already. What on earth will it be like further along when the "shine" (is there even any now?) has worn off?

This.

Think your his side chick, sorry

Never mind my previous post - run for the hills!

Not the flex you think it is OP
Longevity does not necessarily = Healthy relationship

Being 'very serious' about each other after 4 months where he's probably spent more time with his ex is crazy. Nothing about your posts scream "happy times"? I'm sure you're "very serious" but he's still a stranger really 🤷‍♀️

I'd like to know how you can be "very serious" about someone who would clearly negatively impact your sons emotional wellbeing?

i get my ex dp (sons dad) from 12 years ago to do my brake pads on my car.

one of his friends questioned him about it, as we broke up very badly (its stable now) but he just responded with 'why wouldnt i? she drives our son around in that car, i want it to be safe for both of them'

Maybe it’s a bit weird, but your relationship is way too new for you to start questioning it. He should finish the job! It would be even weirder if he stopped now.

He’d also be my Ex @user1467973151 if he had such double standards and was spending so much time with his (previous) Ex!

How big is this bathroom ! He is not renovating the bathroom at all.

he isn’t your partner, he is the man you are dating.

its 4 months & he started it before you met. His daughter (albeit an adult now) lives there.

he sounds like a decent man. Why heap the pressure on him so soon

It doesn't take 4 months of morning until night Sundays, plus the Saturdays he was doing previously, plus the time he had worked on it before they got together to fit a bathroom. Even if the room was taken back to brick. The OP only being with him for 4 months is a reason to ditch this guy now, she has been very patient already, but why wait any longer, for her feelings to develop more and have more shit weekends stressing over this.

The guy is there playing happy families with the ex. There isn't even the slightest chance he been working on it all this time. Soon as he realises he can't stretch the bathroom excuse any longer, she will be needing a new kitchen.

A woman is having the piss taken out of her with a guy who can't let go of his bond with the ex, and people here are telling her to give it even more time. Any more time is wasted on a situation which will not be getting better. If he can't let go of an ex, then let go of him

She's give it long enough. A bathroom does not take this long. Why should she accept this any longer when it is obvious now that he is just spending a great part of his weekend playing happy families.

It's also obvious she was saying partner as when you get a bit older some people feel it sounds off saying boyfriend

My parents have been divorced longer than a lot of parents have been alive on here here they still help each other out

What do you think of his hypocrisy and controlling behaviour? Some pp’s have said the bathroom will be finished eventually but maybe there will be something else after that. He has a 28 yr old dd, does she have kids? Even if she doesn’t have any now, she might in the future and he might want to be heavily involved and spending time with her and grandchildren, do childcare etc.

I am sorry I would be having a serious conversation about this with him. Weird.

It doesn't take 17;days to do a bathroom especially as he's there for hours. I think he's sleeping with her I'm sorry to say.
Have you asked why it's okay for him to see his ex every weekend but you and your ex aren't even allowed to watch your son play football? He sounds like a liar and controlling.

Sorry, you married your ex husband after knowing him 6 weeks?! Was this just the engagement or a full blown wedding?!