Partner spending weekend fitting ex wifes bathroom

[user1467973151]

If your partner was fitting a bathroom for his ex wife for 4 months spending a large part of every weekend doing this, what would ypu think?
For reference they have been divorced years,definitly just a friendship, adult daughter (28) lives there also.
Been together 4 months, bathroom was started before we met.
We are very serious about eachother and very happy with him.
But this is upsetting me now.
Spending all day sunday and sunday evening there until around 8pm.
Meaning Saturday is his only day off. He is constantly tired because he works really hard then this on top. Which means hes often tired and not willing to do things saturday evenings with me due to being up early to do this room.
We went for a meal Saturday night but was asleep by 10pm and up at 7 ready to do the room. So i feel its impacting the whole weekend. He also spent easter sunday and bank holuiday monday there while i was alone.
Am i right to feel annoyed?

4 months to fit a bathroom?!! If that was my bathroom I’d be going out of my mind. Even 4 weeks would be twice as long as it should take!

Op just throw this one back

Not up to him to decide what's acceptable for you and your son. I rarely say it but i would chuck this one back.

He can’t be spending all that time on one bathroom, surely! I had a bathroom fitted within a week by a local chap - he also moved the loo and the bath positions. I ordered all the parts, he did everything else including disposing of the old suite, boxing in the waste and tiling. He also laid the flooring.

Shows where you are in the pecking order...right or wrong..

That double standard is ridiculous on its own @user1467973151

So i was prepared to say its nice if hes helping especially if they have kids who'd also use it.

But 4months? Even at 1 day a week thats 16days of graft - why isnt it finished how is XW and his DD bathing?

And he can do this but your XH cant do stuff for you?

Im genuinely not sure how he had time to date you. Id move on

I’d say give it time - you’ve only been together 4 months and how long is a bathroom likely to take anyway? I totally understand why other posters are saying get rid now, but surely it will be done soon and that’s when things should become clearer for you. Try to get a timescale off him. In the meantime just keep it light in yourself and enjoy your time with him, in case it does go pear-shaped.

This! I think OP should try and get a solid timescale so she has a clearer idea, because it’s definitely starting to take a while…!

& to add they're either having sex or she's ready to bury him under the patio, even the must incompetent twat can fit a bathroom in FAR less time.

Why did he start a new relationship whe he clearly doesn’t have time/isn’t willing to make time for one. What are you? Some stop gap option for when he’s bored in between visits to the ex wife? Why are you putting up with this?

Sounds like they’re still very much in a relationship.

Where does he live?
Have you been to his home?

You seem very naive.

Is he handcrafting each tile from clay?

I think the double standards would bother me more than anything.

Absolutely not.

I was in a short term relationship where he had a weirdly close relationship with his ex wife. At first I put it down to good co-parenting, until she rang him up crying once when we were out and demanded I wasn’t allowed to meet his mam and he was not to buy me a birthday present. 🙃

Ran for the hills. Surprise surprise, they were back together after a few months. They still are but he’s a regular on the local ‘are we dating the same guy’ fb page.

@user1467973151 I have a feeling that once the bathroom is finished, she will have a list of other never ending jobs for him to do. If it were me, I think I would be ending the relationship, citing that you don’t feel like a priority, because he really doesn’t have time for you. You should be in the honeymoon period, not negotiating major issues after just a few months.

Offer to go and help and make friends with his daughter and ex

That’s reason enough to bin him. He’s controlling. That may also be a factor in his “ working “ at his XW’s house. He’s keeping an eye on her too.

No bathroom takes this long to do . Full days, two days a week for four months! Please get rid.

4 months and very happy together except your not happy that he is spending all this time with his ex wife and he is also being a controlling toad in regards to you and YOUR ex.

Its a hard no from me.

So much going on here but the biggest red flag is him trying to control your co-parenting when you barely know each other. Ditch him for this and be relieved that you didn’t let a nasty piece of work like this anywhere near your young son.

The problem is not him doing the bathroom, the problem is him not letting you watch your son play sport when his father is there, that is ridiculous and you need to leave now

Is your son never with you at the weekend? Or is he having to spend time with this man already?

Get rid, this sounds like a horrible arrangement for you all in all.

So he's a controlling arsehole?
Why are you tolerating this?

Bloody hell totally misread that title!!!

Been together 4 months…We are very serious about each other

so, he is busy every day except Saturdays, so you have spent around 16 days together. You need to calm down.

and he spends a huge amount of time with his ex. He is disrespectful.

He has also said that it isnt acceptable for my ex husband to help me
he is a hypocrite

He has also said that it isnt acceptable … watching my sons sports together.
How the fuck does he think he is! And why is this not the line for you?!