Partner spending weekend fitting ex wifes bathroom

[user1467973151]

If your partner was fitting a bathroom for his ex wife for 4 months spending a large part of every weekend doing this, what would ypu think?
For reference they have been divorced years,definitly just a friendship, adult daughter (28) lives there also.
Been together 4 months, bathroom was started before we met.
We are very serious about eachother and very happy with him.
But this is upsetting me now.
Spending all day sunday and sunday evening there until around 8pm.
Meaning Saturday is his only day off. He is constantly tired because he works really hard then this on top. Which means hes often tired and not willing to do things saturday evenings with me due to being up early to do this room.
We went for a meal Saturday night but was asleep by 10pm and up at 7 ready to do the room. So i feel its impacting the whole weekend. He also spent easter sunday and bank holuiday monday there while i was alone.
Am i right to feel annoyed?

Social housing fitted me a kitchen end to end less than 10 days wouldn't have taken so long but they were doing half the street at the same time

you’re being silly of you think ‘being serious about each other’ looks like this.

He is prioritising many days and nights and DIY for his ex and adult DC over your relationship and other things in his life, and telling you what you should do regarding co-parenting with your ex.

Two good reasons to stop dating him.

Totally agree

But you said you were serious and very happy with him? Seems strange you wouldn't include that in the first post...

No they divorced years ago its her house

So he is a hypocrite and incompetent at diy

Ditch him life's too short for looooong drawn out DIY projects and hypocrisy

I admit im being facetious. They took nine months to do my late downstairs neighbours kitchen. They would come in for two hours do a bit then bugger off And rinse and repeat.

Get rid of him. He sounds like a crap bathroom fitter, a controlling hypocrite and he's way to interested in his ex wife's personal plumbing situation.

Just dump him. This isn’t going to get any better. At four months it should be easy and fun and romantic! Sounds rubbish.

4 months to fit a bathroom. C'mon! You can't be stupid enough to believe this.

Well dump his fucking ass then !
Seriously why are you entertaining his bullshit ffs !

So finish it then

So he lives by one rule for him and another for you. Why would you want this controlling man.

He has only been with you 4 months he made the commitment to do the bathroom before you met. Do you think he should now back out of that commitment and leaves the work unfinished?
You are being unreasonable. She may be his ex wife but is also a good friend and he is helping her .

Dripfeed to drag out the post and turn earlier posters into the monsters of the thread as they responded to the limited information given at the time. We see it on here all of the time. Of course people would mention - if their boyfriend was going to his ex-wife's every weekend - that they weren't 'allowed' to have their ex at their home own. It's part and parcel. No one is that daft not to make the link.

Well first off tell him to fuck right off with his hypocrisy. You share a young child with your ex and your new boyfriend doesn't get to dictate how that goes.

He really doesn't get to do that while round his own ex's house.

But as to whether he should stop doing the work he was doing when you met him - no, he shouldn't. You are someone he's been seeing 4 months. It is unreasonable of you to expect him to walk away from a commitment to help his ex.

But you do need to tell him to shut the fuck up about your own ex.

Mate, it's FOUR months. You can build a house in that time.

His daughter is 28 - is there a big age gap between your children - are you at different stages of life?

Aye, you might be on to something there🤔

My dad used to come round to mums after their divorce to "do jobs". They were sleeping together.

If you're 'very happy and very serious' in a relationship where you two are trying to control each other, I can't see your son being very happy when he realises what you're bringing into his life.

4 months doesn't give you enough time.to.know what his relationship with his ex and his adult daughter looks like. Plus you've now said you have a young son and he wants to interfere with your co parenting (which I'm assuming is going ok before you met him as you mention your ex doing work at your house and going to shared events for your son.) 4 months at 1 day a week doesn't necessarily mean anything is going on between them, same as your ex being at your house presumably means you're not intending to resume a relationship with your ex.
Perhaps both of you need to take a step back, let him finish the bathroom, then look at what works for you. I'm assuming you haven't done anything ridiculous like moving in together or introducing your young child to this fledgling relationship?

Oh for goodness sake: you’ve hooked up with some controlling Neanderthal yet you’re wittering on about the bathroom fitting?

Oh ,& just to add if he was never fixing his Ex wife’s bathroom, why are you letting him give you shit about watching your son’s sports games with your Ex ?
Four months In & this is the craic .
🚩

My ex was a plumber - 4 months to fit a bathroom is just stupid. We renovated an entire house in that time.