To be furious with DH for this?

[Coffeecherrymama]

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

It's certainly fast moving

My xH did this for my first born. Honestly my marriage never really recovered from it as I knew I couldn't rely on him. I stayed married but it wasn't a trust based relationship. We split up when he finally had an affair (thank god).

Focus on you and your children. His mother is clearly not an ally.

Where would he get physical tickets to Ibiza from?!

Get his mum to collect him, and whilst she’s at it, she can clean up his sick. She sounds worse than him!

I think you can print boarding passes. But still, it all seems a bit far fetched and questionable now!

I know some think it's a reach with the ibiza development but my friends ex did this to her with a newborn snuck off to Las Vegas for a boxing fight and let her know only when he was there so it does happen!

The Ibiza trip without telling you and just days after you giving birth and having another child would be enough for me to LTB/tear the tickets up/pack his bag and drop off at MIL while he’s away. This is shocking and selfish behaviour and is setting a shocking example to your children.

Stop messaging his mother, she’s clearly not going to support you and is probably the reason why he’s the way he is.

I would honestly consider leaving him, his behaviour is appalling.

(You can print out tickets from an online booking .i often do, I’m a belt and braces person. )
However, those Ibiza tickets would be in the bin in pieces now, and his part of the booking would be cancelled.

use the time he's in Ibiza to get your stuff together and leave. Or get his stuff together and take it to his mum's.

Divorce him. It will save lots of pain in the future.

When you go out with your sister take his passport and give it to her to keep. What an asshole.

I like this idea!

I think after this you should definitely divorce him OP, as he's nothing but a complete waste of space, and sadly will cause you nothing but heartache if you try to repair things with him. He's shown you who he is, and you naturally don't like it, so get rid - NOW!

Oh, and DON'T whatever you do, clean up his vomit, personally, I'd be hoping he chokes on it.

As for his mother, I would NEVER speak to her, or have her in my house again!

What do you mean, found Ibiza tickets??

Does sticking the boot into OP when she's one day post-partum make you feel good about yourself?

He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left.

He's no more "entitled" to a night out than you are - arguably considerably LESS so as you've just been through a pregnancy and childbirth. What would have happened if you had also decided to make plans to go out with your friends without checking with him and the children were left alone overnight ??

His mother is either an idiot or a liar (or both); if you can't avoid her then at least ignore/disregard her input.

Odd a 25 year old would be printing off boarding passes, so the latest update reads suspiciously to me.

However, in the spirit of fairness and believing the OP, I would personally let the prick go to Ibiza and use the time to end the marriage.

I know it won't be easy OP, but this man has no respect or care for you. He doesn't give a shit. You are only 27 so can save yourself from a whole load of mental torment and heartache by wising up to him NOW.

To be fair, he’s probably been down the hospital no end and supportive for months, why shouldn’t he get a bit of time to himself as well. Not to mention that he will no doubt have to go back to work soon to support you both. I was surprised by the age of the DH, 25 is very young for a man to have a kid nowadays. I was expecting more like DH 35-40 and wife early to mid 20s

It seems like he should be the one to be evacuated from the property, not her, who may literally have had a baby as recently as yesterday. She should be in no way required to pack/ organise all of baby and toddlers stuff ready to go elsewhere. Christ I could hardly move at that point even though it was a ‘normal’ birth I recall feeling like I’d been hit by a lorry. She should be in a lovely post partum bubble being attended to. Someone needs to come and collect this useless lump and clean up all his bodily fluids on the way out.

Time to himself? On the day his wife and newborn are released from hospital? Leaving her, the newborn and a 3 year old alone? For 17 hrs with no communication? Overnight? Then coming home drunk/drugged up,scaring the 3 y/o and vomiting everywhere?

Don't think that is quite the right time..

Unbelievable, isn't it?

The fact that my post made your thoughts go to meeting another man says a lot about your mindset.

The OP would be better off letting this man-child go and focusing on herself and her children.

@ElatedPinkSeal Not every woman feels that having a man by her side is the pinnacle of her existence.

My sister has managed to convince his father to come and get him out of my house albeit reluctantly because he didn’t want to come and get him x

Although it won’t be until after 2pm because his father is working until then!

One day you will be on your deathbed. Will you look back and think “I’m glad I did all that trolling on Mumsnet. That was a life well spent”.

Please, get the locks changed while he is gone.