To be furious with DH for this?

[Coffeecherrymama]

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

My sister is on her way over x

But we can’t go back with her to her house as she doesn’t have enough room for us

Mothers like your MIL breed arseholes like you DH unfortunately

He’s a prick and it won’t get any better. But for gods sake stop involving his mum. He’s an adult he’s shown you he doesn’t give a shit about you or the children. If I thought I had to go bleating to my MIL to get my adult DH to behave I’d be filing for divorce in double quick time. Why do so many women perpetuate this myth that men are incapable of growing up and that their mothers are responsible for them from the cradle to the grave. I say this as the mother of a young man. If he behaves like a prick then that’s on him now.

This will not improve @Coffeecherrymama. I'm sorry.
But this is a LTB thread definitely.

Good. Don't keep your toddler quiet either.

completely unacceptable behaviour and it would make me seriously question the relationship. If this is completely out of character, then I might let it go if he profusely apologises and clears up. Otherwise I would send him back to his 'lovely' mum until he gets a clue.

I’d say she knows exactly what he’s like and doesn’t want you kicking him out and sending him back home to her!

She’s gaslighting you!

So just for that reason alone, pack him a bag ready for when he’s capable of walking and send him on his way to mummy until he’s learned his lesson!

So just for that reason alone, pack him a bag ready for when he’s capable of walking and send him on his way to mummy until he’s learned his lesson!

Is this the adult version of putting him on the "naughty step?!"
Honestly, this is all bonkers.

Can you find a nice air BnB for a few days?

Some great points here, but:

1. You need to phone an ambulance, he sounds like he's got alcoholic poisoning.
2. You need to leave the house, put the door on the latch and something lightweight behind it so the paramedics can get in.

Sorry this is happening to you.

Yuck. I’m so sorry OP. Your MiL has raised a real prince among men.

If - if - you want to stay with him I would tell him if this ever happens again it will be the end.

Unless this man wakes up and is the most apologetic man the world has ever known, I’d leave. I’d take my kids and leave or I’d ask him to leave. I’d probably leave even with the apology to be honest.
There is no excuse for this on the day you bring your baby from hospital. He should be a part of the family. He should be caring for you and and his children.

I've just come from the other thread about the DH who went out to wet the baby's head and came home having drunk so much he shat himself.

So many posters on that thread saying to let it go if he's otherwise a good partner.

Women need to raise the bar.

Found Ibiza tickets for Tuesday in his wardrobe now!! I’m actually raging!!! I feel like I could actually divorce him right now because I’m so angry

I feel like I just want to cry

I keep thinking of your older
child as well. It’s already such a big transition when a new baby comes home. Having to witness their dad in this state as well, and their mum upset, and a new baby in the house. It’s beyond unacceptable and I don’t think I could forgive this.

I would get 111 advice or tell MIL to come and watch him while you go to your sister's or another friend's house for the day to actually rest. MIL may see the situation differently if she's the one surrounded by his mess - but either way you've seen her true colours now too and should stop contacting her about him after today. It all feels quite unforgivable.

How old are you both? Sounds very juvenile to be contacting his mum! His behaviour is not acceptable and I would be leaving for a few days and turning my phone off! You’re a mum of 2 you need to put your children first and deal with your own relationship issues and not involve his mother!

I feel like I’m going to burst in to tears again and just cry

Sorry he’s got tickets to head to Ibiza on Tuesday? Am I understanding that right? He’s on paternity leave I assume and going on holiday with his mates?

I think I must have missed a post - why would she need 111 advice or as upthread paramedics?
He's been out, eventually come home, got pissed and thrown up on the floor, why does that automatically need medical advice and paramedics?

Ibiza?

this is literally unbelievable now.

if this happened to me, I would give the ticket to my sister to hold onto, say nothing and if he raised it, make out it was the first I was hearing of it and tell him exactly what I thought of his selfishness.

My sister is nearly here now x

@Coffeecherrymama tickets for Ibiza on Tuesday 🤔 I’m starting to think this thread can’t be true.

I wish I could give you a hug. I am
sorry this is happening x

After I posted, I did wonder about physical tickets these days…