Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but in my world children don’t get to be “incandescent with anger” just because they are expected to fit in with something🤷‍♀️.
Raising children to believe that their every preference is some sort of right, is frankly odd.

Same, I'd have been delighted. I'd be less worried she didn't enjoy the holiday and more worried she seems to have no resources to be able to entertain herself or be in her own company.

It doesn't really matter what we think. The bairn was asked a question and she answered it. She hasn't kicked off or anything. She's allowed to say how she felt.

If the same is likely to happen again next time, give her the option of going or not and make the plans then.

People think an 11 year old can’t occupy herself for 2 hours each day? Seriously? Games/puzzle/book/TV. Do kids need entertaining every waking hour?!

Presumably she could watch tv or play on her tablet?

Oh, wait, please tell me you didn't restrict her screen time too?

I bet the impact that "siesta" had on each day was more than two hours, as it would have prevented them from doing anything that would have taken them out for the whole or even a large chunk of the day.

Can't kids entertain themselves anymore? I'd have been very happy with a book at that age. Or go do some activities indoors in afternoons as an option? But it's your holiday too.

Well she was probably bored but also a bit melodramatic. Although if you went out on a trip and then always had to rush back to sleep, that's a bit weird. My son was usually happy to chill for a bit in the room (on his phone!) and I wouldn't be asleep but I don't think he'd have cared if I was) but that was more early evening before eating, not in the middle of the day when he'd rather be doing something more fun like swimming,

Growing up in the 80s it was very normal for your parents to leave you in a pub beer garden at the weekend, with a packet of crisps and a coke, whilst they buggered off inside for a few hours. We survived, in fact I think 80s kids were far more independent in general.

At 11, surely she was old enough to go to the pool on her own?

I remember being that 11 year old. Lonely, not considered at all, bored. I hated holidays and my mother used to seethe that I wasn’t ‘grateful’. I still resent them and I’m in my 50s.

I'm still pondering how extreme heat sends two people to bed for 2 hours!

What? That would be very weird.

She’ll remember how she felt during those 2 hours and from her perspective it was not a good memory or feeling. Hot or not, that’s her take home and she answered the Q honestly. Don’t blame her at all tbh. Never had to have a siesta because it’s too hot! Did she really need you both to go offside at the same time unless there was more to it? Alcohol, marital relations etc spring to mind! Otherwise imho YABU.

Do you usually have an afternoon nap when you aren’t on holiday?

That was shit parenting then, too.

How about do restrict her screen time, but then spend actual time with her?

When you are at home kids spend so much time at school or out with friends. Let holidays be a time she remembers for spending time having fun with you, rather than trying not to think about mum and dad in bed in the next room in the middle of the afternoon.

Exactly. Imagine how lonely it would feel even if capable of being able to go to the pool alone watching other families together and that be same also for a lot of adults.

I think people are overreacting. 2 hours a day isn't too much for and 11 year old to entertain themselves, she could have read a book or done some drawing. It is normal for children to start getting a bit bored with holidays at that age, even if parents are on the go all the time. They'd rather be with people their own age.

To b3 honest this was a ‘thing’ for quite a few families in the 70’s/80’s when going abroad. I remember most shops and places in Spain would stop for a few hour in the afternoon for naps, and my parents, and many others did the same, I can’t remember getting overly upset by it.

Poor kid.

This. I find it quite weird that people think there's something wrong with it. It's literally what a siesta is. My daughter was 8 when we holidayed in a very hot place and we got into the habit of going out in the morning, then returning to our accommodation after lunch for a while before going out again in the late afternoon/evening. It worked well and we all had a sleep after getting up and being out and about from early. I would arrange any holiday in a hot country the same after experiencing how that worked, it was spot on. I enjoyed my afternoon snooze (and needed it) and I wouldn't not have it if my daughter wasn't able to sleep.

The only thing I done differently from the OP is that I kept my daughter with me and we napped together. If she didn't nap she would always have access to her books or grudgingly, her tablet.

Probably would rather be with anyone rather than being left on your own while your boring parents go to sleep!

I can't imagine being so dull on holiday with my kids.

Our kids never stopped enjoying holidays with us.

Reading some of the comments here , you are not doing your kids any favours with this smothering approach to parenting. Kids can get bored, kids can be on their own , kids don't need to be the centre of everyone's attention constantly.

Every year, as a child, we went to the beach in summer. We were out early morning & back before lunch, partially because it was hot, partially because DP's wanted to nap/watch tv.

It was incredibly boring and I hated going. Which is sad, because it's absolute paradise there. It was just so boring knowing we'd be stuck in a holiday unit with nothing to do for half the day. So I'm not surprised your DD didn't enjoy it.

For the record, DB & I knew how to entertain ourselves & were never the centre of attention. We were never even asked if we enjoyed the holiday. But I'll admit I was bored as I couldn't do anything. My DC don't enjoy every aspect of our holidays, but understand it's for everyone, not just us.