Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

It does sound shit to just be left in the middle of each day for a few hours. Was a siesta really necessary every day?

Also, if she didn't enjoy it, that's fine. If she wouldn't want to go on a similar holiday again, that's also fine. We're all allowed our own tastes and preferences!

Well, you asked and good for her she was honest and told you.

I went on holiday with a napper without realising. I wanted to be out all day and to bed early if needed. Not limiting every day to allow for heading back midday to sleep. It could have messed up every day but luckily I was an adult and could do my own thing while they slept, which was going out doing things and not just hanging round the accommodation waiting for them to wake up.
It's not really about whether she could amuse herself for 2 hours a day or not, it's whether she wanted to be sat in reading / watching TV / on Spotify / youtube or whatever, which she could do at home, or would have preferred to be doing something she considered more holiday like.

And yes I know, a holiday spent with time to yourself for reading, napping and listening to music or watching TV would appeal to lots of people but clearly not to her. When the holiday was discussed beforehand did you tell her to anticipate those 2 hours daily, or did she go on holiday with nappers by mistake too? My sympathy is with her OP.

Maybe next time rethink the sleeping. When we were in hotels in very hot places we'd find somewhere cool like a lounge or coffee bar and play games like Uno and Exploding Kittens with our kids to escape the heat.

My parents' holidays consisted of lying on the beach ALL DAY and us being expected to do the same. Boring. I used to stay back in the room with books.

Did she take stuff to do for 2 hours on her own every day? Obviously an 11yo “can” entertain themselves for 2 hours a day but they also lack agency. She couldn’t go on trips, go shopping, go for drinks on her own. Did her mum let her go to the beach in those 2 hours? Wonder round the shops? Go to the pool? Was she warned to take enough books? Did she have WiFi? A tablet? Downloaded movies? Does she like to sit and draw for 2 hours a day? It’s normal to not enjoy waiting quietly for hours for lady bountiful to wake up and let you enjoy the bits of your holiday that aren’t the 4 walls.

Lady bountiful? Wow.

I can understand why she didn’t enjoy it. Doesn’t seem very family oriented.
I wouldn’t do this unless DH was looking after the children for a few hours.

I genuinely worry for you. You need to stop hating someone for having a nap

And that’s fine, but the child is also allowed to say that the siesta time made the holiday not as good as it could have been.

I’m assuming she’s an only child. So yes, I’m not surprised she didn’t enjoy it if she was left alone in the hotel room/villa for 2 hours every afternoon whilst you slept.

I think this is weird. You’re surprised she didn’t like the holiday. Why are you surprised? Do you know your daughter? How could you not have realised that she wasn’t happy? I feel really sad for her. You’re unaware of her emotional needs.
poor girl.

And it’s fine when that’s what you’re used to. When you’re on holiday and you’re 11 it’s a bit crap. I’m presumably much older than OP, with DCs who are young adults who holiday in Spain in August - and certainly don’t siesta for 2 hours a day. Holidays for us are about exploring, spending time together, not snoozing for 2 hours on top of the 8 hours at night.

And a day trip isn’t mornings only btw. A day trip is all day.

This is odd.

She's too old for most kids clubs, but there are some places that do tweenage ones.
Or go with friends/family who have a kid of the same age that she gets on with, ideally an only child as siblings often don't like tagging along.
Or you could go in the UK and let her go out for an activity duringthe day, eg dry ski slope, horse riding etc.

1. I love a nap on holiday, for me it's not wasting the day, it's being rested so I can enjoy my holiday.
2. When I was 11 I would love 2 hours by myself in the living room everyday, so it isn't necessarily rubbish. Many kids like to be left alone.

Obviously your kid didn't and that's ok, but I think it's fine that you had 2 hours to yourself a day. It's your holiday too.

Sorry this is just mental. Child taken abroad on holiday. Entertained apart from 2 hrs per day. Parents need to be taken outside and shot, then their bodies burnt. Your kids need to live in a world where no-one will cater to them. You need to teach them this!!

It is fantastic to see that everyone assumes Spains stops for a siesta 😴
Fascinating thread

We’ve holidayed and lived with our DC in very hot countries and have never felt the need to ‘siesta’. You sit inside and play games or chat, eat etc…to leave a child who doesn’t have a friend or sibling with them for 2 hours everyday on holidays is unreasonable.

Honestly I've read pg1 and half of page 2 and I can not believe the shit the OP is getting for having a bit of downtime. Ffs it's the parents holiday too. 2 hours is not a big deal for an 11yr old to spend by herself. I'm an only child, ( single parent) my holidays were pretty much spent on my own,my mum would be off with other adults. I either sat on my own and made my own entertainment or joined the boring adults Was it boring, hell yeah but I survived and flourished from it. Kids should be bored, it ignites their imagination and teaches resilience. Nothing to feel guilty of OP

That’s when you find shade, have an ice cream/cold drinks and play UNO. It’s not when you ignore your only dc for 2 hours. WTF have I just read?

Seriously?

I have NEVER taken a nap in the afternoon, holiday or not. And I certainly wouldn't leave my child alone while I had quiet time with my husband a sleep . I think it's a very odd thing to do.

Why is it odd...where should the child be ?

An 11 year old is perfectly capable of entertaining themselves for a couple of hours with a book or a game etc.

Yes she could. But should she have to, for two hours every day (so more like 14 20 hours in total)? The 'it was hot' doesn't ring true. OK so you weren't bonking but it definitely sounds like you wanted some child free time every day. So you wanted to be away from her just adults. How do you think that felt to her? Shut up in the living room, can't go anywhere? Parents don't want her?

She's 11 and could have amused herself. She is ungrateful. Tell her that.

You are not a bit worried. Don’t be silly. It’s not the nap, it’s complaining that a kid was bored. People are allowed to be bored. It’s mean to ignore someone for 2 hours, ask them if they enjoyed it, and then criticise them for not. OP can have as many naps as she wants but don’t criticise people for being bored when they are sitting around waiting for you, because, let’s face, it, that’s what the kid was doing. Not a chance she was allowed to go out on her own. She had to wait - with a pool and a beach probably in view and she’s being judged for it. Was she supposed to lie and say she loved it? Maybe she took a ton of stuff from home to “do” on her own but she was still in “wait” mode, no friends, not in her own neighbourhood where she could go out but she was expected to enjoy it more than hanging out at home.