Daughter didn’t enjoy holiday

[Personil]

DH and I went on holiday with my DD (11). When asked if she enjoyed the holiday she says it was ok but was ruined by being left on her own for 2 hours every day. What she’s referring to is when we went for a siesta. Months later she’s saying she wouldn’t want to go again. WWBU?

They’re sleeping 13 hours a day, every day! It isn’t normal.

Spanish people don't sleep for 10 hours every night, then a two hour nap in the afternoon, then dinner at 5pm!

Of course at 11 children don't get the choice as they're their parents responsibility, but I wouldn't want to go again with them. I wouldn't be looking forward to it.

Yeah, some kids just need their sleep. Mine always have done, we could have one really late night tops or it would all go to shit, particularly after lots of sun. Also four hours in a restaurant or bar would be more than enough for them. Each to their own, eh?

I think it's a lot to expect of her to read for 2 hours a day (assuming a week's holiday) plus then read again at bedtime if you were only up til 9 watching entertainment.

I think it's sad that you are saying you will leave her behind next time rather than considering an alternative holiday (unless you already have multiple holidays and this is the only beach type holiday you have where the expectation is to laze around).

Personally I would be bored too with your holiday and can understand your daughter being fed up. Therefore we choose holidays where we go places (for a full day) with rest days in between, but even those have some planned things going on.

That’s quite a literal take on what I said. My comment was much more about the feeling out being physically shut out and excluded from you two as a couple and her alone

Did she not speak up at the time? Did she enjoy the other activities?

At that age my DD wouldn't have been fussed for the morning pootling or the evening entertainment and would have hated being left for 2 hours. She would have preferred to go visit something for the day or do a fun activity.

It feels adult focused rather than child focused or split. Could you plan a redo together so she gets a day in activities for some of the days.

I think the siesta is not at all odd.

I find the 9pm bedtime surprising after a long siesta though!

That's the bit that is starting to sound more like a honeymoon!

An 11 year old with no other kids or company, away from all their toys etc, unable to understand the tv and no access to a tablet? For 2 hours every day? Mine enjoy reading their book on holiday and will play solitaire with cards but they’d want to mix it up a bit and if they’ve read for an hour and played solitaire for half an hour what then for the next half an hour?

Are holidays meant to be some sort of punishment. I always thought they were supposed to be enjoyable. If the child is happier with gran either let her go to gran or plan a holiday she can enjoy. I'm sure the OP wants to enjoy her holiday, why shouldn't an 11 year old?

I meant granny may be older but does fun stuff

I think most 11 year olds love doing those things with someone. It sounds much better than being left alone with very little entertainment for 2 hours every day of a holiday.

What the actual am I reading here!!!
That’s not on - it’s a family holiday - no wonder she was bored and doesn’t want to go again!!!!
I’d never do that to my kids - what on earth were you thinking?

These answers are bonkers - nothing wrong with an 11 year old having a bit of quiet time every day. She can read, watch tv, snooze herself. No need for constant entertainment.

Well, honestly, that sounds a very boring holiday.
My kids the same age would have been bored, as would I.
You completely wasted hours every day of your holiday?! 2pm to come up from the pool is extremely early.
If you were back in the room for 9pm, why would you then need a really long nap? Unless you've missed out that both of you have a chronic illness or similar?
Why would you want to watch TV on holiday?

They'd still get enough sleep if they had a nap before getting ready for the evening and it would allow them to stay up later.

You do know on holiday you don't need to just sit in a restaurant or bar at night? You can go for a walk and sightsee whatever the area has, you can go on a sunset boat trip, you can go to a show such as the pirates show in Majorca, you can go browsing the shops, go to the kids funfair if theres one such as the one in Cala dor, go watch street entertainment if the area has stuff like that.

The holiday would have been boring for all of mine at that age just as ops daughter has expressed it was.

I don’t see why you can’t have a choice if there is another safe option available. Why are some parents treating holidays like a punishment? Why say you will come if granny is happy to have them and they are happy to go to granny? I don’t see the point of this particular battle?

Mine would never have an early evening nap. We regularly have down time on holidays or the kids lose the ability to self-regulate.

I’ll state again….. we are all different.

When we did siestas it was because the culture was to eat in the evenings and stay up late with other families. If you were eating at 5 and back by 9 I don’t see the point of it really. I can see why she was bored now. As a kid I liked the siesta as it was hot. And we knew we’d be up til 11 playing with other kids

Are your children happy with your holiday routine though? Because the ops daughter isn't and is finding it boring, so that's the difference isn't it?

What child would want to?!? She's 11. I have been to baking hot countries for holidays (and camping so no aircon) and don't need a nap in the middle of the day. My kids would also find it dull and weird.

Same. My 11 year old would have gone to bed at 9/10 on holiday anyway. I’d they’d slept for a siesta it would be so they could eat and stay up much later

What's she normally like at spending time on her own generally, OP? There are some harsh replies on here, but personally I don't think older kids need to be constantly surrounded by people and I don't think leaving her to her own devices for a couple of hours is as terrible as some are making out on here.

Official Spanish-Speaking Countries

• Europe: Spain
• North America: Mexico
• Central America: Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Panama
• Caribbean: Cuba, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico (U.S. territory)
• South America: Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador, Paraguay, Peru, Uruguay, Venezuela
• Africa: Equatorial Guinea

I think they’d be told to go out and enjoy the resort/area by themselves. You can’t do that for a child. No one would say stay in the hotel room and suck it up every day. I have seen threads like it on here and the posters are not torn to shreds for being bored and questioning their compatibility with their holiday companion. There was one where a girl was having her first holiday with her bf and he kept sleeping during the day. Consensus was they weren’t compatible on holiday and maybe not even outside the holiday if he gave no thought to her.