AIBU to refuse to let relatives take my children’s Easter eggs to donate to a food bank?

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We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

Are you sure they weren't trying to take them for themselves? It seems odd to do this after easter and they could just donate chocolate to the food banks instead!

Jesus Christ are these relatives okay? What bizarre and obsessive behaviour.
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Get a grip. The only apology should be yours.

I would not have hem back. I really wouldn't.

I’d have slapped their hands.

Either no reply or say you would like an apology for them calling you/your child selfish and ignoring you when you said no.

It sounds a bit like my friend’s mum who does performative charity so people will think she’s nice (and she can then get things for free) but in reality is controlling, can be nasty and has zero emotional intelligence

Bloody cheek of them. They probably wanted them for themselves else they wouldn't have faffed around being picky about which ones to take to "donate". Pretty sure food bank users aren't going to be fussy about what food they get given to them for free. Send your kids to theirs to go take stuff bet they'd soon kick off

I would tell them they should feel embarrassed and told off.

I would also ask them to apologise for trying to steal your children’s property and refusing to take no for an answer.

I’m interested that they stopped when your husband (a man) arrived.

I wouldn’t invite them back, and if they ask why I’d say “because you tried to steal from me”.

I wonder if it’s because it’s unhealthy food and that’s why it bothers your mum if she’s really into healthy eating… perhaps she feels anxious seeing her granddaughter having so much chocolate and her own issues with food made her want to get rid of it, and it was dressed up as donating to charity. Just a thought

But yes, she’s completely being unreasonable.

I would have asked them if they felt like going through the house earmarking anything else for donation. In a snarky way.

When mine were teens we did cut back on eggs! One smell one each from their grandma. Before that we bought one each but 2 is enough. I’d not be told what to do with them though!

They're maniacs!

Are they churchgoers? I've seen this now and then, where so-called "Christians" want to score Brownie points in Heaven at the expense of their own family (but not, of course, at their own expense...)

I would reply and say that they should feel bloody embarrassed. How dare they come into your home and start deciding what your children should do with treats their treats. Do they normally try to make decisions for you op?

Yeah, right…….they wanted those chocolate eggs for themselves! CF! And for them to ask for an apology because one of your DC told them to put them back just beggars belief!

Hope the kids enjoy the eggs

Some people are weird. YADNBU.

Would they be trying to be controlling about what the kids eat ?
I honestly would tell them where to go

You aren’t going to do this but go round to their houses proclaim they have too much food in their cupboard and say you can take some to the food bank

They sound batshit but did they buy most of the eggs and they're secretly offended their presents are still lying around? I would cut back next year-the kids are obviously not fussed. I think you're right to be furious but as someone who loves chocolate I'd assume the kids don't want it if they still have loads left and are having to share with friends this long after Easter. I mean that's just unthinkable to me 😆

Already addressed this above - and not wrong with respect to my local food banks. Clearly there are different policies at different banks. Easter eggs, separate from specific pre-easter egg donation programme which local supermarkets and charities in my area operate, would not be much welcome.

I wasn’t going to get too deep into the eating issues but yes, my mum is very controlled in what she eats. She keeps her weight at the low end of healthy, which is fine of course, but we have had a few problems with her commenting on our children’s diets previously.

My children have always been a healthy weight and eat a good diet, but if I said one of them had a friends birthday party at the weekend when they were little, she’d straight away tell them not to eat too much. She took my son to a birthday party once because we were working and she told the parent of the birthday child not to put any cake in the party bag for my son, little things like that. I’ve had to tell her not to put her thoughts about ‘bad’ food on my children a number of times over the years. Thankfully my children all have a healthy attitude to food so I don’t think I need to reflect on their diets.

When they were here yesterday, I could tell that she kept thinking about the eggs as she was distracted after first seeing them and kept mentioning them. It’s definitely her food issues behind trying to take the kids eggs away, but I don’t think that makes it any better. She’s an adult and needs to deal with her issues.

Would you even bother to respond?

No.

They were stealing from children to make themselves feel better. They should feel embarrassed. Shocking behaviour.

Also, is it not better for children to eat treats in smaller amounts over a longer time frame - rather than binge them all in one go?

I hope you've told them how ridiculous they're being and that no decent food bank would even want a donation of Easter eggs several weeks after Easter!
If they care so much, they should donate money to the food bank so they can use it to buy some more appropriate and needed items.

Funny how generous people are with someone else's possessions/time. If they're that eager to donate, they can go out and buy something themselves.

Indeed. I think a PP above mentioned that moderation is much better - my kids used to get lots of eggs and after a few years of one day of choc fest and the rest sitting in the cupboard until I broken them up and used them in baking in Sept/Oct, I suggested to fam that we bought them one luxury egg and gave easter themed toys/money in cards instead. My kids can eat a packet of biscuits in a weekend and then not touch another for months now and seem pretty balanced because we didn’t label foods good or bad.

My MiL is a bit funny with food and will happily order a slice of cake, eat two bites, declare she is full and will have to take it home to finish another day … but she would never openly critique what my children eat nor state that their eggs/Christmas chocolate was excessive and demand they be confiscated/donated. That is batshit!!

Your parents obviously believe they can control you like you're still a child yourself. You were right to stand up to them.