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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to let relatives take my children’s Easter eggs to donate to a food bank?

296 replies

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:04

We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

OP posts:
ohyesido · 19/04/2026 14:46

They embarrassed themselves. Your child is lucky to have a mother like you who stands up to overbearing relatives on their behalf

ThejoyofNC · 19/04/2026 14:47

"You should feel embarrassed. Your behaviour was appalling. I won't be apologising."

CoastalCalm · 19/04/2026 14:48

Go round to theirs and start taking clothes out of the wardrobes to donate - see what they say

StrawberrySquash · 19/04/2026 14:48

'Look at all that money in your bank account. I think I'll take half of it and send it to the local food bank.'

CautiousLurker2 · 19/04/2026 14:49

PurpleThistle7 · 19/04/2026 14:41

Absolutely bizarre to try to take your food but just in case others read this - I volunteer at our food bank regularly and we definitely want treats as well as healthy food. It’s really lovely when we can pop in some fancy biscuits for a new mum or give a family some sweets. A food bank won’t typically buy this sort of stuff with their own fundraising money but it’s definitely used if donated.

However that’s for food that’s donated, not stolen from grandchildren! Super strange.

Really? I’m surprised, at my local one they are very clear that due to things like allergies (from chocolate/nuts) and the increasing issues over dental health in children that they would not accept sweets and chocolates. There was a Christmas drive by the local round table which was totally centred around providing seasonal goodies, and welcomed mince pies, cakes, biscuits etc, but again they asked for no actual sweets.

But I stand corrected in case Op’s inlaws know of a bank that so take them in their area.

Sortingmyself · 19/04/2026 14:49

ThejoyofNC · 19/04/2026 14:47

"You should feel embarrassed. Your behaviour was appalling. I won't be apologising."

This. Simple and to the point.

Bloody cheek!

Aniceempirebiscuitandacupoftea · 19/04/2026 14:49

How cheeky can you get! They deserved to be “told off” and they should be embarrassed. It’s up to your kids if they feel some eggs should be donated.

Balloonhearts · 19/04/2026 14:50

I would reply that they are owed no apology and if they didn't wish to feel embarrassed, they should behave with a bit more class.

Butterme · 19/04/2026 14:53

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:38

Not my in-laws, my side of the family unfortunately. My parents.

They definitely wouldn’t have been taking them for themselves as my mum rarely eats junk food and she wouldn’t be encouraging my dad to as she makes him very conscious of his health too.

I think I’ll just leave it and not reply. I won’t see them til at least July.

I was going to ask if it was your mum and whether she is overly health conscious.

She was completely out of order and I would be telling her so and not inviting her around for a long time but it’s also worth reflecting on your children’s diets and whether they could be healthier.

Feelingworried26 · 19/04/2026 14:54

You have some very strange relatives!

ginasevern · 19/04/2026 14:56

Perfectly reasonable of them to suggest it once, especially as they're your own parents. Maybe twice at a push. But after that it was rude and bossy of them. Then to basically start stealing the eggs under your nose moved it into bonkers territory. Do they have form for this sort of thing?

TamarindCottage · 19/04/2026 14:57

I’d want so much to tell them to fuck off. However, I know I wouldn’t nor would I be inviting them to visit again

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 19/04/2026 14:57

Taking the Easter eggs out of the equation - what makes anyone, ever think they have the right to tell someone else how to run their lives? I mean, suggest that if nobody wants those eggs a food bank would be glad to have them, but actually putting them in a bag to TAKE them, despite being told no by the homeowner?

Not their house, not their kids, nothing to do with them.

ttcat37 · 19/04/2026 14:57

You need to reply. “Actually, it’s you that need to apologise. I told you no, repeatedly, and you tried to undermine my choice as a parent, and in front of my children. It is not your decision how much chocolate my children eat. If you want to donate to the food bank then by all means buy some food to donate, but don’t take it from my house when I have explicitly said no.”

ThunderCatsHooo · 19/04/2026 14:58

Next time you go around their house start emptying their fridge and cupboards when you are about to leave, tell them you are donating the food to the food bank as they have plenty, if they say put it back, tell them they are selfish and ask for an apology. See what they say 😁.

Chatsbots · 19/04/2026 14:59

Is is a subtle message that she thinks you're unhealthy to have the eggs?

You sound really reasonable and the teens are right to stick up for themselves.

Isobel201 · 19/04/2026 14:59

my dad's partner said to me once about a toblerone bar I received for Christmas once that I shouldn't be eating it and giving it to a food bank because it was chocolate. I kept it and ate the bar nice and steadily. I don't eat chocolate normally so it was a nice treat for me. I never left any chocolate gifts in her sight again.

RunningJo · 19/04/2026 15:01

What on earth have I just read - wtf?! Who decides to take someone’s Easter eggs?

What utterly odd behaviour, I’d like to think I wouldn’t respond but not sure I could help myself. I’d probably be delaying seeing them again for l quite some time though. July would be a bit too soon

Some people 😂

Chatsbots · 19/04/2026 15:01

The last couple of Christmas, when I've gone around to my in-laws, Fil has visibly been seen to hide chocolate from me & DH. I suspect it's a comment on my weight and I view it very dimly...

Sc00byDont · 19/04/2026 15:02

Sprogonthetyne · 19/04/2026 14:39

I'd reply something like "I'm so sorry you found it embarrassing when I had to ask you to stop stealing my children possessions" but then I'm a passive aggressive bitch

This

Elsvieta · 19/04/2026 15:03

"If you come into my home and announce that you will be helping yourselves to the belongings of anyone who lives here, you get told off. That isn't going to change". CFs.

rookiemere · 19/04/2026 15:03

If you don’t want to start a huge row the either ignore as you plan to do or something like “We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one. They are DCs eggs and it’s up to them what to do with them.” FWIW having a take it or leave it attitude to sweets is likely to result in adults with a healthy attitude to diet.
My DPs gave away most of my Easter Eggs to Banardos one year when I was young. They were/are sanctimonious twats around food as well and I ended up becoming a fat teen as I gorged on junk food as soon as I had the opportunity to do so.

Ansjovis · 19/04/2026 15:07

I wonder if your parents haven't quite come to terms with the fact that you're an adult in charge of your home yet. My family do this to me, they come over and start turning switches off and trying to throw away things they think are broken or past their useful life (and almost invariably are not either of those things!). I think it's because they don't really see me as an adult. 100% no apology from you, if they feel embarrassed then that's good!

Jamesblonde2 · 19/04/2026 15:07

The cheeky sods. Your child’s Easter eggs are not for them to give away. If they’re so bothered they can buy chocolate and take it to the food bank.

Why do they see fit to enforce their views on you. Tell them to bog off.

Blisteringlycold · 19/04/2026 15:11

CautiousLurker2 · 19/04/2026 14:34

I’D reply that “a) THEY were utterly selfish to expect to confiscate the property of your children when DC were perfectly free to decide whether they would like to donate them or not and b) no respectable food bank would take unwanted easter eggs/sweets to distribute to families [especially so far after Easter], anyway. They want healthy food and staples. And c) there are pre Easter charity drives where your family are welcome to buy and donate an egg at that stage next year, should they wish to, but they are out of order to behave the way they have.”

b) no respectable food bank would take unwanted easter eggs/sweets to distribute to families [especially so far after Easter], anyway. They want healthy food and staples.

How wrong can you be!