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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to let relatives take my children’s Easter eggs to donate to a food bank?

293 replies

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:04

We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

OP posts:
ToadRage · 20/04/2026 10:58

Don't apologise, you have nothing to apologise for. If you must reply you can tell them that and they should be embarrased abdbif anyone should be apolpgising it's them for attempting to take something that wasn't theirs.

Whatexcellentboiledpotatoes · 20/04/2026 11:04

I often read threads on Mumsnet and am shocked that people like this exist. WTF.

They should be apologising to you, for bagging up your belongings and informing you they were taking them. Who does that?!

The mere fact that Easter was weeks ago and your children have chocolate left shows they are reasonable eaters and not greedy.

Mine had so much chocolate one year that it took them until Halloween to eat it all but they did. Then it took them until Easter to eat the Halloween chocolate 🤣

BauhausOfEliott · 20/04/2026 11:58

RhiWrites · 19/04/2026 16:39

Each child eats at least two Easter eggs on Easter Sunday. That’s not super healthy, assuming two full sized eggs. It’s not the worst thing ever but I wouldn’t have been allowed to eat that much chocolate as a kid.

It doesn't matter whether you think two Easter eggs on Easter Sunday is 'super healthy', though. Whether it's healthy or not, it still doesn't mean it's even remotely normal or OK for grandparents to start trying to take their teenage grandkids' Easter eggs away. It's none of their business.

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 20/04/2026 12:19

Whatexcellentboiledpotatoes · 20/04/2026 11:04

I often read threads on Mumsnet and am shocked that people like this exist. WTF.

They should be apologising to you, for bagging up your belongings and informing you they were taking them. Who does that?!

The mere fact that Easter was weeks ago and your children have chocolate left shows they are reasonable eaters and not greedy.

Mine had so much chocolate one year that it took them until Halloween to eat it all but they did. Then it took them until Easter to eat the Halloween chocolate 🤣

They should be apologising to you, for bagging up your belongings and informing you they were taking them. Who does that?!

An awful lot of people use this as their everyday MO: classic DARVO.

BEING a victim is a very undesirable, vulnerable position which nobody would ever choose; but MAKING yourself into a victim when you are not - in fact usually when you are the one doing the victimising - is a very powerful position to be in, and a marvellous way to get what you want from people whilst making them feel guilty to boot.

MichLBee · 20/04/2026 13:37

They should feel embarrassed. They tried to bully your children, steal from them and then had the audacity to blame you. Well done for sticking up for your children and standing your ground. I'd be distancing myself from them for now at least. If anyone is owed an apology, it's you!

BelBridge · 20/04/2026 13:50

Well done on standing up for yourself and your children OP. And it’s interesting that your parents stopped when your husband came home. If they keep pushing it I would probably respond along the lines of they are welcome to spend their money on donating to as many charities and food banks as they like, but they don’t get to try and force your children to donate on their behalf.

BelBridge · 20/04/2026 13:55

RhiWrites · 19/04/2026 16:39

Each child eats at least two Easter eggs on Easter Sunday. That’s not super healthy, assuming two full sized eggs. It’s not the worst thing ever but I wouldn’t have been allowed to eat that much chocolate as a kid.

What does what you were and were not allowed to do as a child have to do with this thread?

By that same logic, my parents never bought me diamonds as a child. Does that mean I can go into other people’s homes and help myself to their jewellery because they don’t need it and I wasn’t allowed it as a child?

purplecorkheart · 20/04/2026 13:57

I would be tempted to reply "are you joking - you shouldn't be taking things that do not belong to you."

Wordsmithery · 20/04/2026 14:07

Absolute effing cheek.

UnZenXennial · 20/04/2026 14:55

YANBU, and I'd ask them when I should send the kids round to theirs to have a sift through their belongings cos they need some stuff to donate to the charity shop!

ChocolateAddictAlways · Yesterday 18:21

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:04

We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

Absolutely bizarre behaviour from relative. Not their place to make such a decision.

Would they feel the same way if someone decided to pack up their birthday cake or Christmas treats?

They are free to donate goods they have purchased to a food bank. But trying to take Easter eggs from teenagers is crass and asking for an apology is supremely entitled. I would ignore or ask your DH to remind them it could have been avoided if they had listened the first, second and third time they were told 'no'.

Snakebite61 · Yesterday 18:25

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:04

We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

What a bunch of weirdos.

SwatTheTwit · Yesterday 18:31

Can’t lie, I was surprised/shocked at the crazy amount of Easter eggs a relative had in her house, but no way I’d just be walking up to something and bagging them?? That’s honestly insane behaviour.

Plus depending on location it’s likely the food bank has had its share of surplus eggs anyways. DP volunteers at our local once a week and they had eggs to give out just fine.

vickylou78 · Yesterday 18:33

I would have been raging!!! How awful making kids feel bad for wanting to keep their own Easter eggs. What killjoys. Your children can eat their eggs as slowly or as fast as they like and keep as many as they want!!

My own kids both have little piles of eggs at home and they'll have a little bit each weekend but the chocolate isn't going to go off quick so often their eggs last them till Halloween!

If grandparents are so insistent that food is given to a food bank they can take their own food there!!
I'd be furious!

Leavelingeringbreath · Yesterday 18:51

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 18:25

They all ended up with about 12 eggs, some creme eggs and a bag of mini eggs each. It’s like this every year ans family and friends still like to buy for them. It gets eaten over months so it’s not like they’re eating it all within a week.

They all ate two eggs on Easter Sunday, the ones that were about £1.50 this year so not big ones. Oldest has taken 1 bigger egg back to uni and the rest are still here. The other two have eaten a few things since Easter Sunday which they’ve shared when they’ve had friends here or taken to eat at the cinema.

God this makes it even worse if one of your DC is uni age they are actually an adult so your mum was honest to god trying to pinch another adults easter eggs to take to the food bank that's appalling.
Tbh OP I don't think you should ignore her message as actually that's letting her get away with this. You need to reply and say 'actually mum it's you that owes the DC an apology, you behaved really poorly this weekend and we are quite shocked you tried to take your own grandchildrens Easter eggs from them. You must see that it's completely inappropriate of you'

OriginalUsername2 · Yesterday 19:01

They should be embarrassed!

It’s good that you and your DC stood up to them.

MMAS · Yesterday 19:08

AI post

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · Yesterday 19:14

“We will not be apologising. You should feel embarrassed, and we were telling you off - because it was incredibly bad behaviour on your part to try to steal things from your own grandchildren!”

TheLovelinessOfDemons · Yesterday 20:56

My aunt would comment that my kids had too many Easter eggs. Well, if everyone buys them Easter eggs, and they were only little at the time so I'd ration them to a small piece every day, they would get through them, but after about a month. I obviously also wanted to buy them Easter eggs.

pollymere · Yesterday 21:06

Why would a food bank want Easter Eggs after Easter?! How rude of your relations. It sounds like they were more interested in being sanctimonious and in presenting your children as selfish.

Bernardo1 · Yesterday 21:10

You seriously think they were altruistic enough to take to a food bank ?

Holdinguphalfthesky · Yesterday 21:11

Only read OP posts, but this is so crazy it’s almost funny. Go round their house and start gathering up any items they have more than one each of, and when they ask what you’re doing, tell them they don’t need the excess items, it’s selfish of them to keep so many, and you will be donating them to Oxfam on their behalf. When they protest, storm out and make sure you send their WhatsApp message back to them.

Maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance that they might then think about how they just behaved (but I doubt it).

Anon501178 · Yesterday 21:21

Who the hell does that! Beggars belief- domineering busy body's.
I just can't imagine someone interfering like that.....your poor kids having relatives like that.Sounds like you need to give them an ultimatum to butt out or bugger off tbh!

SpaceRaccoon · Yesterday 21:25

MMAS · Yesterday 19:08

AI post

It doesn't read like LLM output at all.

Wildefish · Yesterday 22:09

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:38

Not my in-laws, my side of the family unfortunately. My parents.

They definitely wouldn’t have been taking them for themselves as my mum rarely eats junk food and she wouldn’t be encouraging my dad to as she makes him very conscious of his health too.

I think I’ll just leave it and not reply. I won’t see them til at least July.

They sound nuts. Sorry Op but that’s not normal behaviour. .