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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse to let relatives take my children’s Easter eggs to donate to a food bank?

296 replies

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:04

We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

OP posts:
Princessofpumpkins · 21/04/2026 22:46

No one has mentioned the point of view of the person who gave the Easter egg to the children. I am a grandmother and I budget carefully throughout the year so that I have money for the pleasure of thoughtfully choosing birthday and Christmas gifts for my grandchildren. At Easter it is my pleasure to individually select a chocolate egg specially appropriate to each child and to make this gift to them. I would be absolutely outraged if somebody felt able to remove this saved for and lovingly chosen gift to give to a food bank. How dare they be so interfering?

Kerensa70 · 21/04/2026 22:59

Unbelievably rude!!!!

Raspberrywhite · 21/04/2026 23:06

Ignore their text but they wouldn't be coming to my home again.
Or you could text back, "you are no longer welcome, solved it for you"
They sound absolutely batshit.
How dare they.

You do realise this is not normal behaviour?

Ilovecakey · 21/04/2026 23:35

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 19/04/2026 14:09

Text back and say there’s loads of discounted eggs in the supermarket. They can swing by one today and pick some up.

Personally I reckon they wanted them for themselves. Otherwise why so picky about which ones?

Exactly what I was thinking that they wanted them for theirselfs cheeky bastards!

JohnTheRevelator · 22/04/2026 00:40

I think they take the prize for Cheeky Fuckers of the week!

SoSadSoSadSoSad · 22/04/2026 00:48

this just doesn’t sound real.

Friendlygingercat · 22/04/2026 00:52

I do not appreciate it when people who are guests in my house attempt to steal from my children.

fabstraction · 22/04/2026 02:24

I'm glad you and your child stood up to the bullies, at least, and that they went away empty-handed! No way would I apologise, and nor should your child. I'd be surprised if either of them is actually embarrassed, as they must have rhino skin to try to shame a grandchild for having a few extra Easter eggs, but if they are embarrassed, then good. They made themselves look ridiculous and like exceptionally unloving grandparents.

Flatandhappy · 22/04/2026 02:31

I would respond asking for an apology for them trying to steal from your children.

SorryNotSorry00 · 22/04/2026 05:05

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:38

Not my in-laws, my side of the family unfortunately. My parents.

They definitely wouldn’t have been taking them for themselves as my mum rarely eats junk food and she wouldn’t be encouraging my dad to as she makes him very conscious of his health too.

I think I’ll just leave it and not reply. I won’t see them til at least July.

I’d have told them to fuck off and mind their own business. How dare they try to steal your kids treats? Whether they think it’s excessive or not isn’t the point, it’s the fact that they have no business taking things without asking and making judgements on what your kids eat or not. Were they controlling and stingy with you growing up or do you think it’s a case of having nothing better to worry about?

ApproachingMinimums · 22/04/2026 06:15

redboxer321 · 19/04/2026 14:17

Yeah, I'd respond. A two-word response with one of those being off.
Probably not the best advice though.

Agree. Tell them to piss off and don't come back. Hideous behaviour.

Having an opinion is one thing but actually taking them and then backing up being twarted with snotty opinions?

What on earth was your childhood like @ConnectionsAndWordle

dh280125 · 22/04/2026 10:30

That's insane. I have no one in my family who would try such nonsense. You need to set the tone by not rising to this and making it clear that only your rules and decisions count in your home.

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 22/04/2026 10:58

I'm still wondering what their intentions were, once at the food bank, had they been allowed to escape with the stolen goods.

Would they have been all smiles and jollity: "Here's a lovely treat for the kids!"; or would they have said "We have this toxic junk food that we need to get rid of - can we dump it off on you?"

If the former, then they are freely acknowledging their agreement that there's no problem at all with enjoying chocolate in moderation over a period of time - as the rightful owners of the eggs had already been demonstrating - so they had absolutely no justification to steal them in the first place.

If the latter, they clearly see poor people and their health as unimportant 'non-people' - which is a truly nasty thing to believe.

Either way, they are horrible, hypocritical thieves.

Bunny65 · 22/04/2026 15:54

ConnectionsAndWordle · 19/04/2026 14:04

We had relatives visiting yesterday who saw our children’s Easter eggs and throughout the day kept commenting that they have too many. I said they’ll eat them eventually so not to worry. They do have a lot, but they are all aged 15+ so perfectly capable of deciding what they want to eat. One child opened one during the day and offered it around. They’ve been sharing them with friends and will eat them so they won’t go to waste.

As my relatives were leaving, they said they would take some of the eggs and donate them to a food bank and started putting some in a bag. I told her to stop as kids would eat them. They continued choosing which ones to take so I again told them no.

One of my children came downstairs to tell them to leave them alone as well and asked them to put them back. Relative told my child (teen) that she should think of others and not be so selfish. I told her not to call my child selfish for not wanting to give away eggs that are theirs.

Relatives husband said I was being unreasonable and selfish, like my child. My husband then came home which stopped the conversation. They left soon after, without the eggs, but clearly weren’t happy.

They have sent me a text this morning to say they were disappointed in what I said and for siding with my child and that they would like an apology as they were ‘told off’ and were ‘made to feel embarrassed.’

Would you even bother to respond? It’s completely pathetic but I don’t feel like I have anything to apologise for.

Next time your parents come round hide any “bad” food in a box in a wardrobe or suitcase until they’ve gone.

junebirthdaygirl · 22/04/2026 16:14

Your post reminded me l still had Easter egg left so l enjoyed a little treat!
Interested to see that everyone was sure it was the inlaws ..always the baddies!!!

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/04/2026 16:22

Bunny65 · 22/04/2026 15:54

Next time your parents come round hide any “bad” food in a box in a wardrobe or suitcase until they’ve gone.

Nobody should have to hide food from visitors. Just don't invite them or if they do come check their bags on the way out

Raspberrywhite · 22/04/2026 16:25

Yet another case on MN of utterly toxic grandparents having inexplicable access to grandchildren.

Have a rethink OP.
Trying to steal your childrens property?
Berating them and you?

Utterly toxic.

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 22/04/2026 17:54

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/04/2026 16:22

Nobody should have to hide food from visitors. Just don't invite them or if they do come check their bags on the way out

Yes, you wouldn't dream of inviting people into your home if you knew that they were likely to help themselves to any money left on the side, or to slip your phone into their bag or pocket.

ANY known thieves would not be welcome in my house.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 23/04/2026 12:36

@ConnectionsAndWordle

Well done for seeing it for what it is, and for holding your boundary!

Given she has sent that message which is also out of order, doubling down on her behaviour, I think a response along the lines of actually it should be her apologising, and for the follow up message, would be helpful, to help reinforce your boundary on her in general.

Might give her something to think about. Maybe with a link to the local NHS talking therapy service too!

Mum has her issues, they are hers to address, or not, but she is not to be overstepping like that again if she wants to retain a relationship with you and your family.

She has already overstepped a number of times by the sounds of it.

Good luck!

GinaandGin · 23/04/2026 14:40

Princessofpumpkins · 21/04/2026 22:46

No one has mentioned the point of view of the person who gave the Easter egg to the children. I am a grandmother and I budget carefully throughout the year so that I have money for the pleasure of thoughtfully choosing birthday and Christmas gifts for my grandchildren. At Easter it is my pleasure to individually select a chocolate egg specially appropriate to each child and to make this gift to them. I would be absolutely outraged if somebody felt able to remove this saved for and lovingly chosen gift to give to a food bank. How dare they be so interfering?

Agree with this 100%

Pricelessadvice · 23/04/2026 16:04

If I saw someone trying to take my Easter eggs away I’d be fuming! 😂
Tell her that if she wants to donate Easter eggs to food banks, she needs to buy her own.

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