I had no idea that my friend is a multi millionaire!!

[shockedpuppy]

Been friends for 35+ years. Both from "normal" working class backgrounds. I found out today, that her DH's business turned over £100 Million last year. Yes, One Hundred Million, it's not a typo.

They have a nice house in the South East, worth maybe £700k. There are no obvious signs of such wealth. They are not big spenders. We were at a party with them last month, and they were (as usual) quite slow to get the drinks in when it was their turn. We definitely got in more rounds. Gifts at Christmas are especially frugal, I normally receive something that has obviously been recycled as it's so bizarre, or it's obviously a freebie with another purchase.

I had been feeling quite good recently about money, as we pay off our mortgage later this year (house worth about £340k for context), and we will have a reasonable amount in savings. Now I just feel a bit Meh, as we will never attain anything like this. Just one million would do me, lol. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I feel absolutely positively green with envy.

They will be able to do things for their 3 daughters when the time comes, like buy them homes outright - something we can't do.

We are all in our 50's, if that's of any relevance.

Sorry I can’t quite get past you investigating them via Companies House. That’s very bloody nosy
Apart from fuelling your petty jealousy, what were you hoping to achieve?

It doesn’t matter how much she’s got , you can still be satisfied with your own life. There’s more to happiness than money !
Im sure the business has taken a toll on them as well as bringing a decent living ( if it has of course - turnover is not an indication of profit)

It would be better for you to just say 'I hope my friends are healthy and happy' and then go back to focusing on your own family.

Well it's no wonder they didn't tell you given your reaction.
Looking up their financial accounts and posting about it online doesn't seem like the action of a friend.

It also sounds like you don't understand the accounts either.

Why? Honestly stop for a second and ask why on earth do you need to know? Why does it matter and most importantly why do you care so much about their finances?

Agree with others, get your nose out of their (literal) business.

I'm pretty sure most people would find this a shock, tbh, if it was your friend and you had no clue.

You don't actually sound like a very nice friend, to be honest. We've just paid our mortgage off (our house is worth considerably less than yours) and I'm chuffed to bits.

We will never be able to buy our kids a house - or even lend them the money for a deposit. I know people who are very well off, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Why should it? It doesn't affect my life in any way.

I'd be pleased for one of my friends if I suddenly discovered they were very rich or they had just won the lottery. It would not make me feel jealous or fed up with my own life.

Why aren't you pleased for her, instead of being annoyed that you will never attain that? Why would you care?

We had a friend that decided to look our company up then mention our turnover at a social event in front of a bunch of our other friends, when they mentioned it you could see the tumbleweed blowing through the room, we are no longer friends. Why would anyone be so nosy to look up their friends business interests? That’s weird, why not just ask outright instead of skulking around behind their backs?

Edited to add our finances are nothing to do with our friends, would it have changed the friendship if you knew how much they were worth? We don’t think about our friends in terms of £££££ because they’re friends.

You are a green eyed monster as my granny would say, the mental stress alone wouldn’t be worth it for me.
Don’t be one of those people who can’t help gawking.

No I genuinely don't think most people would be shocked or even give it a second thought. They almost certainly wouldn't post about it online and check their accounts...

I can be pleased for my friend (I am), and still feel a bit jealous, or wish that we had similar.

In my experience the “rich” keep their money by being tight with it. I know myself since I’ve stopped extended family gifts, cards etc, albeit small, there is a saving.

But really they’re not “cash rich” are they? You’d probably call me rich on paper…I’m not, I just have a lot of investments, my husband owns a business etc. I live in a “nice” house in a “good area”, I drive a “nice” car., I’ve retired early. But it doesn’t mean I can buy my grown up children a house etc (as much as I liked to! Any parent would!).

But does it matter? Why has your opinion on your friend changed so much since you’ve found this out? Surely our friends are our friends. Do you feel that they’ve not been honest with you? But on the other side of the coin, do they need to tell you? Tell anyone? Personally I hate talking about money.

she might be a true eco warrior and believes in regifting. Maybe they didn’t realise they were slow on the drinks. I don’t know, I don’t see the point in now looking back at your experiences together now with a different onion just because you found out some new info on them. Either enjoy the friendship I think or move on.

jealousy is an emotion that lots of people experience so I applaud you for recognising that emotion, lots of people can’t, but really it’s taking the joy away from being friends if you can’t get past it.

you’ve secured your house, you say you have savings, enjoy those and all your own achievements

I love all the snooty posts telling OP she’s clueless. Bunch of cows!

Fact is, the friends are tight buggers and don’t put their hands in the pockets and OP is rightly annoyed.

A lot of wealthy folk are tight unless it’s their own immediate family.

OP, make sure you tell them when it’s their turn to pay.

Honestly - I probably would be a bit surprised, but no more than I would be to learn that someone was in lots of debt. No way would I look up the company accounts or start a thread about it.

I think you need to set this aside.

That's their business, not them. Massive difference!

I might be surprised but I absolutely wouldn't be checking their accounts and posting about it on social media! That's not normal behaviour.

No, because I know the difference between personal wealth and the bottom line of a balance sheet.

You're feeding the jealousy, which won't help you.

Try to set it aside.

I ah w a friend who’s a multi-millionaire…she made the millions.
She’s an absolute gem, with no airs and graces. She’s one of those who hasn’t forgotten where she’s come from.

What is the point of your thread? It makes you look like a right sticky beak.

And this is what living in the end stage capitalist west does to us. It robs us of contentment.

You are in a blessed situation. At the end of paying off your mortgage, have a tangible asset, have some decent savings, have (assuming) a good stable relationship, and you are feeling discontent by comparing what you have to someone who appears to have more.

There is someone else looking up at you feeling the same discontent and there are those with none of the things you have, but are still content with what little they do have.

You should never have snooped and checked what they have coming in.

And there's a difference between seeing the value of material things and experiences - a lot of financially well of people don't place a high value on things, they place more value on experiences. Also they might feel more under pressure to live a less showy way of life.

They also might value the enjoyment of acquiring the wealth. It's becomes addictive.

It's partly why mega rich people keep working.

As my dear old dad (who owned a business) used to say "Turnover is vanity, profit is sanity".

I can understand why your friend hasn't shared this with you.

It’s quite likely that IF your friend is as day to day rich as you think she is, she’s keeping it quiet due to worry over the change in relationships it will inevitably cause
Your own reaction being the perfect example