I had no idea that my friend is a multi millionaire!!

[shockedpuppy]

Been friends for 35+ years. Both from "normal" working class backgrounds. I found out today, that her DH's business turned over £100 Million last year. Yes, One Hundred Million, it's not a typo.

They have a nice house in the South East, worth maybe £700k. There are no obvious signs of such wealth. They are not big spenders. We were at a party with them last month, and they were (as usual) quite slow to get the drinks in when it was their turn. We definitely got in more rounds. Gifts at Christmas are especially frugal, I normally receive something that has obviously been recycled as it's so bizarre, or it's obviously a freebie with another purchase.

I had been feeling quite good recently about money, as we pay off our mortgage later this year (house worth about £340k for context), and we will have a reasonable amount in savings. Now I just feel a bit Meh, as we will never attain anything like this. Just one million would do me, lol. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I feel absolutely positively green with envy.

They will be able to do things for their 3 daughters when the time comes, like buy them homes outright - something we can't do.

We are all in our 50's, if that's of any relevance.

I have never been involved with a business and know next to nothing about the business world. But even I know that net worth has little to do with how much cash you actually have, or even how much you're able to realise in a pinch.

I never understand jealousy especially around money. Your life would be no different if they where rich or poor. Its actually shitter having poorer friends as you miss out on doing lots of nice things together as they can't afford it.

Don’t t forget if they took that money as dividends the HMRC would take a MASSIVE chunk of it.

i think it was really mean of you to snoop on your friend

This is EXACTLY why my petty and jealous family have NO idea about me.

My own sister thinks I’m a sahm.
I am not!

And they’ve clearly worked hard to build a successful business from nothing, you won’t have seen the sacrifices they’ve made. Instead of being jealous you should be proud of them. Or work harder.

And particularly if they are stingy buying drinks and gifts.

I had a friend who mentioned everyone’s finances, all the time. Then her dad died and she inherited his house and a big chunk of money that she never mentioned. She continued her green eyed gossip about everyone with more money than her. I honestly couldn’t stomach it and when I told her …well.. I never heard from her again. Thinking about other peoples wealth is a very odd and unhelpful mindset!

Companies House information is all accessible to the public by design though. Anyone can look up anyone else and there is no need to sign up or justify it. Public records are public records, just like Land Reg, Births or Deaths.

Nosy? Maybe, but she's not going through their bins looking for bank statements.

I'm surprised by some of these comments. DH and I own a business - I'd be surprised if people didn't look us up on Companies House! It's human nature to be curious. We look up our competitors periodically.

That said, Companies House accounts for small companies are quite abridged and don't give you much information about how the company is actually doing.

As others have said, turnover and profit can be very different (our profit is about 20% of our turnover).

Good on them for being frugal. We spend much less than we earn and recently managed to pay off our mortgage and max out our ISAs. I think people who don't know us well assume we are "poor" and look down on us for not having a flash car and a big house. We're very happy having money in the bank. Money gives so many choices. I'll probably be retired by 50, and we plan to spend most winters abroad once we retire. I'd rather work towards that than burn through cash now.

I'd be exactly the same.

Chuffed for them.

Whilst wishing I had a similar amount in the bank too.

We have a lot of money. We are continually judged, gossiped about, speculated on and have rumours spread about us, fuelled presumably by envy/insecurity. I have cut contact with a family member who cant handle it.

Maybe this is why she has never told you. There is a lot more to life. Health for one.

I can't believe you've gone and looked up the accounts for your friend's husband's business.

You sound like a complete headcase.

Exactly this! I know an incredibly rich couple. They have many properties, including one in Mayfair. All their furniture is from the basic ranges in Ikea and they always fly economy.

The business turns over £100m, but it's valued at £20m. Minus any debt. Minus any stock value. Minus tax. Minus all sorts. Turnover is irrelevant if they are losing money...
And while they have a big house, who knows if they are mortgages to the hilt and hoping the business grows.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Just enjoy your mortgage paid off soon.

I'd be surprised if people didn't look us up on Companies House! It's human nature to be curious.

Several of my friends have businesses I've genuinely never looked them up. It's one thing to check a competitor but why would I look at my friends accounts other than to be nosy. I like them as people not because of how much money I think they have.

Dunno why everyone is being a dick to you, you never said anything bad about your friend and 99% of people would be surprised to find this out about a friend.

If you want you can compare to mu finances, it'll make you feel better again 😃

We are classic asset rich and cash poor thanks to owning our house in London outright (worth millions).

Our disposable income is very low - in fact DH's employers moved their company to Asia after the Labour government got in. We haven't had an income since July last year. Hemorraghing through savings and no relief in sight. But I know that some of my friends think I'm rolling in it.

Absolutely agree. I wouldn't dream of looking people up! Why on earth would I?!

Yup.
Tighter than 2 coats of paint. 😶

I’m not sure I would. I haven’t got a clue what any of my friends earn, or what their businesses turn over. I do know their favourite chocolate bars, and how they take their tea, though.

You’re doing really well to have paid your mortgage off in your 50s, I’m hoping to have paid ours off by 60. You’re also more generous than your secretly rich friend, so good for you.

The comments on this thread are so tiresome. Mumsnet is full of the permanently offended.

I tend not to be jealous of people who are self made millionaires because generally I wouldn't want to do what it took them to get there.

Most people have had to make significant sacrifices to earn that type of money. For example I know of someone operating a wedding business from their own beautiful estate. The last thing I would want to do on a Saturday or Sunday would be getting up at the crack of dawn to stress about someone's wedding so I'm happy working my care job and living in a semi!

On a similar vein my son is a very talented pianist and musician. Most people are lovely about him but the odd person can be catty. I remind him that someone has no right to be jealous of his talent unless they have also spent over 5000 hours practicing piano.

Don't envy what someone has if you wouldn't want to do what it took them to get there.

I'm imagining a business turning over this amount has significant investment in premises, stock, workforce. Being responsible for someone else's livelihood is not something to be taken lightly and could be the source of much stress. I'm sure it hasn't all been plain sailing.

Enjoy what you have worked for and mind your business.

The fact that they are tight doesnt surprise. I know a fair few very very wealthy people (sadly I am not one of them!) and they are, without fail, tighter than a gnats arse in a hurricane.

One in particular I am thinking of actually went into a rant about how a woman in the supermarket took the reduced chicken he wanted so he had to pay full price and how unfair it was. He will happily drink the drinks he is bought but will avoid getting his own round in if he can. It got to the stage where gobby me said "You know what, rounds are getting daft with us all drinking different things at different speeds so why dont we all just get out own?" Enthusiastically accepted by the other 4 people (all with far less money than him) but he was quite resistant saying he didnt see the problem. I didnt know you can make a pint last 4 hours but it turns out that you can!

I don't understand what you want people to vote on, I don't really understand what your point is. You have money, your friend has more and she's mean at Christmas?

Money isn’t everything. Their kids will probably end up entitled and unmotivated with no direction in life if they’re all bought houses with no rent to pay