I had no idea that my friend is a multi millionaire!!

[shockedpuppy]

Been friends for 35+ years. Both from "normal" working class backgrounds. I found out today, that her DH's business turned over £100 Million last year. Yes, One Hundred Million, it's not a typo.

They have a nice house in the South East, worth maybe £700k. There are no obvious signs of such wealth. They are not big spenders. We were at a party with them last month, and they were (as usual) quite slow to get the drinks in when it was their turn. We definitely got in more rounds. Gifts at Christmas are especially frugal, I normally receive something that has obviously been recycled as it's so bizarre, or it's obviously a freebie with another purchase.

I had been feeling quite good recently about money, as we pay off our mortgage later this year (house worth about £340k for context), and we will have a reasonable amount in savings. Now I just feel a bit Meh, as we will never attain anything like this. Just one million would do me, lol. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I feel absolutely positively green with envy.

They will be able to do things for their 3 daughters when the time comes, like buy them homes outright - something we can't do.

We are all in our 50's, if that's of any relevance.

Any true friend then I would know what they did for a living!! Better friends I’d know more about them.

so your surprise tells us everything about you and nothing about them.

a very strange misguided post that has jumped on one thing without any context or comprehension.

This comes across as though you are a gossip needing something new to dine out on.

Maybe on paper. How does this translate to cash?

So many posts like this on MN recently ‘why has someone else got more than me’. It gets boring after a while.

I agree with this about the mortgage I paid mine off when I was 49, I was beyond thrilled as it was 2 years early! I mentioned it to a couple of hobby buddies who are older and A LOT richer than me and they were both really impressed and admitted to quite a lot of envy! So yes my house is tiny and worth a fraction of theirs but their very high incomes are servicing very high debt. Its all relative and its a massive achievement!

Also maybe her Christmas gifts are more about care for the environment or thoughtful things that are personal to you. Just cos you have money doesn’t mean you have to buy extravagant personality-less gifts

The fact that you have managed with no income since last July suggests you might be less "cash poor" than you are letting on - unless that has involved loans, overdrafts and credit cards!

I don’t think she does.

There’s overheads and servicing debt and paying tax.

I work for some wealthy people - house worth several millions, pool, horses, gardeners, tennis courts, housekeeper, private club memberships etc etc. Their personal Coutts statement was on my desk the other week, multiple millions. I don’t really care, but what does grind my gears is when they comment on the circumstances of other wealthy people with things like “ooooh I wish I could afford to X, Y, Z” when they absolutely could, and usually do. It’s their clumsy way of trying to bond with the minions I think.

However it doesn’t do to compare or dwell!

Exactly. Tell people very little. Trust no one. If you do have money, play it down. It brings out the worst in people.

it is better to keep your nose out of other peoples finances
it is a bit vulgar to make comparisons !

stop buying them rounds and presents and just let it go

money isnt everything andid love to be in your position paying off my house

So… what are they like as people? Do you enjoy their company? Do they make you laugh? Are the good at conversation? Do they provide emotional support when you need it? Are they thoughtful?

Because that’s all I would give a shit about to be honest.

Look at it this way. You will be mortgage free later this year. You have savings. You are obviously comfortable. There are so many people that would love to have what you have. Comparison is definitely the thief of joy.

That doesn't mean his salary is 20 mil!
I bet he doesn't even earn 1/2 million per year. Not that iam saying that's not a massive amazing it is. But I think you have got illusions of grandeur about them

I think it’s lovely that they don’t boast, brag or lord there wealth over you
soon as people find out you’ve money they judge and treat you different

You’re just about to pay your house off, that’s HUGE!! You should be so proud of yourself. I get it’s easy to be envious I would be but celebrate your achievements. They’ll have their own struggles, just like you do.

How do you know their net work? Company assets do not equate to personal wealth, profit after corporation tax does not mean their salaries/drawings are high. They could have huge company loans, etc. I think you might be over-estimating their actual net worth, although it does sound as though they may (economic crash, bankruptcy etc notwithstanding) be able to set their children up well. Which is lovely for them. It’s what we all aspire to for our DC’s, isn’t it?

Irrespective of their worth, they sound tacky, mean people.
The money means nothing.
I wouldn't want to spend 5 minutes with people slow to get their round or where we bought more rounds.
No thanks.
Life is just too short and their are too many normal decent people to go out with.

We have friends whose company's acquisition was a Bloomberg story and they are seriously wealthy.

They are the same people, same worries about their children finding their way.
Minding money takes work.
But obviously it has provided masdive freedom of choice.
Still really lovely people.

They kept their original normal family home, despite buying a huge PITA too big multi million £ home.

The lovely wife often goes to stay in their old full of family crap old home! She still loves it.
Its where she raised her 4 children.
I so get that.
They are in their 60's.

You would’ve had similar if you’d taken financial risks to open a business and invest everything you made back into it… because that is usually how successful businesses start out.

Also worth pointing out that my own husband’s business is worth a lot of money, but that is mostly assets.

And this is exactly why I tell people absolutely nothing. There seems to be some kind of “myth” that if you do well, your friends will be happy for you. Ops post shows, very clearly, this is not the case. These people haven’t “flaunted” their wealth, haven’t done anything wrong at all, and yet op has an issue with it. And it IS op’s issue, it’s a her problem.
I too have had people look me up on Companies House, who don’t understand the difference between turnover and profit and who don’t understand that a balance sheet is just a snap shot on a single day.
I read a quote recently and I think it sums up life for those of us who have earned all our own money:
“Being successful is a bit like being pregnant. It’s very obvious, but no one knows how many times you’ve been fucked to get there”
They’ve earned it op and they’ve clearly tried to hide it because they don’t want to be judged. Leave them alone.

This is MN so of course all posters live on a higher moral plane. They never make judgements about other people and only want the best for them, therefore they would never look up someone’s business on companies house . (Yes right 😉)
Back in the real world I’m sure lots of people would look out of curiosity, especially if they are tight arses who struggle to open their wallets.
I would be envious too op, isn’t that human nature?

Why does it bother you? You and your dh have lived your own life and made your choices and they have theirs.

I’ve got friends who are multi millionaires, both inherited and self made and their financial situations are their own. As you rightly recognise, being envious will not make you happy or content so I suggest you count your blessings and forget about their money.

OP you really need to brush up on your understanding of these financial terms and what they mean in real life. Your friends aren’t necessarily multimillionaires.

Profit vs turnover.All his cash it probably tied up in his business. If his CAPEX and OPEX are higher than his turnover, he’ll be in the red. Ps my lifelong friend bought a 7.5million mansion last year - he’ll be working till he’s dead to pay for it. No thanks! All smoke and mirrors this “wealth”.

So you’ve snooped around to find out how rich they are (or drawn your own conclusions about that from what you’ve found) and you feel what? Pissed off that in your recollection you’ve bought more rounds than them? Annoyed they haven’t shared the ins and outs of their finances with you? Entitled to a little share of it? Sounds like the friendship is over to me. You’ve zero respect for them, are bitterly jealous of them, feel entitled to what they have, and worst of all you somehow think you’re justified in a single shred of this horrid post.