I had no idea that my friend is a multi millionaire!!

[shockedpuppy]

Been friends for 35+ years. Both from "normal" working class backgrounds. I found out today, that her DH's business turned over £100 Million last year. Yes, One Hundred Million, it's not a typo.

They have a nice house in the South East, worth maybe £700k. There are no obvious signs of such wealth. They are not big spenders. We were at a party with them last month, and they were (as usual) quite slow to get the drinks in when it was their turn. We definitely got in more rounds. Gifts at Christmas are especially frugal, I normally receive something that has obviously been recycled as it's so bizarre, or it's obviously a freebie with another purchase.

I had been feeling quite good recently about money, as we pay off our mortgage later this year (house worth about £340k for context), and we will have a reasonable amount in savings. Now I just feel a bit Meh, as we will never attain anything like this. Just one million would do me, lol. I know comparison is the thief of joy, but I feel absolutely positively green with envy.

They will be able to do things for their 3 daughters when the time comes, like buy them homes outright - something we can't do.

We are all in our 50's, if that's of any relevance.

No, you don’t. Because if you know ANYTHING about business or how company accounts are made public record? You know what op has said is rubbish. Personally, I don’t believe everything I read.

Yes, you nailed it.

It's jealousy that often turns into spite/resentment.

People saying they feel "betrayed" because their friends havent showed them their bloody bank balance- how ridiculous and intrusive and entitled.

They dont feel "betrayed" because the friends have done nothing wrong, they feel jealous and they are irritated as hell that their friends havent given them a good old chunk of their money. Thats what they are really pissed about. It's not that they didnt know about it, it's that they want a piece of it and they are angry they havent got it.

No, it's not necessarily jealousy. I've explained the reason for me above.

Hi shockedpuppy. Wow I'd be shocked too! That's a huge turnover even if it's only a tiny bit of profit. I don't think your reaction is unusual at all. I think that would be my reaction too. There was something somewhere written that the people who are the most happy are those who are a little bit more wealthy than their friends. It makes sense therefore that those friends with less wealth will therefore be a bit unhappier! It's normal and natural to compare (I think it's part of being human) and also to have anxieties of how our children will do comparatively. It is a bit puzzling that they don't show much generosity and are actually bit miserly. It would definitely reframe how I saw my friendship. It would also make me wonder about how open they are about themselves.
The only advice I think applies in the words of my 93 year mother is ' Life isn't fair'.
In my 60s Im also starting to realise that health is more important than wealth ( but of course being able to afford private health care can even help a bit with that too!) Hoping your shock subsides soon and that we both win the lottery!

Amen. The friend could have £1billion. But then passing on 2nd hand gifts they were going to bin, when the friend spends hard earned cash DOES MATTER.

It’s about respect, tight-fisted behaviour, selfishness. Ripping a friend off, etc.

You found out by doing some online detective work so you have no idea what they plan to do with their money. For all you know they are so appalled at the amount they make they have decided to create charitable trusts. I know people who have done this. So stop your green eyed envy and take them on the front they show you. You were happy with your lot until you started comparing your life. No good will come from that.

Retired teacher, married, mother of three, multi-millionaire. Retired at 69, a career helping others for 47 years, and still doing charity stuff. Now mid-ish 70s. Nice home, not flash, just well-designed for a comfortable retirement. I wear clothes 10+ years old, because they were good quality classics. Big garden which I manage alone, and which provides produce, fruit and veggies, free-range eggs, for scores of people. We have many friends, ranging from our cleaner who has become our closest, to people much richer than us. We travel long-haul from time to time, economy, to conserve our assets for the DC, while we live off our pensions and the proceeds of investments. It was jam today or jam tomorrow for them, and they chose the latter. I see it as my moral and social duty to share my good fortune (inheritance) unobtrusively with friends and family. I would be horrified to discover any friends investigating my financial situation. Money is simply not discussed.

Bit oc a sweeping statement. You know stingy wealthy people. I know generous wealthy people. And most people are wealthy through hard work. Nkt stinginess. Bizarre comment!
Unless they won the lottery or inherited money.

You're right that comparison is the thief of joy. Stay in your own lane to avoid that compare and despair loop OR compare yourself to the majority of people in the UK who are worse off.

It's a bit shit that they're stingy/tight despite being super wealthy though!

No wonder they haven’t told you, look at your reaction.

You're in a great position financially to be paying off your mortgage. I don't know if I'll ever own a house. What would be the point in having millions of pounds ? There's a limit to how much money would make a difference in our lives

It's called being careful with money NOT stingy! Usually the most generous people are those who have the least!

Companies House reports has a disclaimer that they do not guarantee the information is correct.

It would seem OP also doesn’t appreciate the current difficult trading conditions.

OP should look up the number of companies going into administration.

The annual returns at Companies House are probably for year end December 2025, before the Iranian blockade of Straits of Hormuz.

OP should look to her own life - unless she works for HMRC. OP should also be aware of Data Protection Act

Why should they?

My dad used to say "You don't get rich by spending money"...

The OP hasn’t said anything here to identify who the friends are or what their business is, so there are no Data Protection issues.

May be not Donsyb but it’s warning to the OP not to gossip publicly about other people’s financial affairs particularly when the information is probably wrong

OP I'm with you. People on here are batshit and if they are that rich and they feel offended you looked and are shocked it just shows how out of touch they are. Take no fucking notice! Regardless of how you work out their wealth a business that turns over 100 million is hardly going to be earning in the 100ks per year... it doesn't matter if you are off . They are bloody minted and if they cash it all in tomorrow will be beykng 99% of the population wealth. I'd feel exactly like you. But enjoy what you have as you're clearly also successful xm

do you begrudge wealth?

I've been in businesses doing far more than £100M turnover where we weren't making much profit and certainly none of us were rich. Don't mistake turnover and profit! Your friends are most likely living to the edge of their wealth, like many of us.

You know there might be NO profit right? Unless we know the company and look it up on companies house, there's no way to say that company doesn't have a lot of debt for example...

I have a couple of friends who buy holiday homes and a yatch as birthday gifts and I’m talking 7 million worth massive houses . I have several that live in housing association houses and have to curb their spending . Point is someone is always better and someone is always worse than you and you cannot live thinking about what others have that’s awful

Jealousy seems to be on the op mind. They do not have to divulge any information to you about their business, why do you think you have the right to know? It is very hard going making a business successful and they will have worked hard for every penny. A true friend would be thrilled for them, not jealous

Of course not! Are you wealthy like this couple ? Why do you even care that other people finding it shocking as its such a small proportion of society?

Turnover means nothing in this context .
They could make a relatively small profit and not pay themselves a lot