Page 2 | To be so fed up of my dh noise cancelling headphones

Allthedays1 · 2026-04-15T17:32:16+00:00

He has them in alot. He will come home from work, chat for 15 minutes if that then block everyone out and watch YouTube with them in. I will be in the shower and the youngest will come and get me if she wants something even if he's in the room with her. It's doing my head in. I get he talks all day at work but we still exist. At the weekend I watch no TV unless kids are in bed or watch with them. He just sits with the headphones in for hours watching on his tablet Today our child had a problem at school. Dh had his hoodie up in the kitchen, I started talking to him about it and then son says "mum he can't hear you he's got his headphones in". I'm going to work in a bit so it's not like I can tell him later. Please tell me I'm not the only one with a dh like this

rosycheex · 15/04/2026 19:09

Do you mean 'if we didn't have kids....'

brightnails · 15/04/2026 19:12

I hate the way the world is now with headphones everyone is completely disconnected put on the WiFi but if an actual partner started doing that then it would be a deal breaker; I want to be listened to in my own home and have easy chats around the house not have to signal for attention, no thanks

Tacohill · 15/04/2026 19:19

I voted YABU because I am your DH.

I’ll have my headphones on any chance I get.

I am exhausted after work and the only thing that gives me the energy to cook and clean is having my headphones in listening to an audiobook or music.

I don’t understand why some people (and it’s generally women) have to constantly talk.

I will absolutely pause it if my DC wants to speak to me but it sounds like your DH does do this.

I think as you all know he uses headphones, making sure he’s listening before you start talking is a good idea.

Like the issue with school - I would have got his attention and he should have paused his phone and gave you and his child his full attention until a solution had been found.
Then he can go back to what he was doing.

It does sound like you constantly want to talk.
You say your parents had the TV on but you could still talk over it - that would drive me mad if I was trying to watch something and people were talking.

Classiclines · 15/04/2026 19:25

This is dreadful OP.

He is teaching his children they are absolutely of no importance. This will really impact their self esteem.

And yours.

ThisIsTheAge · 15/04/2026 19:27

I use them when I'm getting dull stuff done like the laundry, washing up, ironing etc but no. The rest of the time I'm present for my family.

LilyBunch25 · 15/04/2026 19:28

Sod that.

Mumofoneandone · 15/04/2026 19:36

This is shocking! I have a condition that is worsened by excessive noise but not wearing my earplugs as much as this! A lot of the time I only wear earplugs that dull sound so can still hear things like the doorbell.
Sounds like he's just using it to opt out of family life!

CinnamonJellyBeans · 15/04/2026 19:37

Disgusting ignorant pig.

RaininSummer · 15/04/2026 19:38

This seems so rude. I would be very pissed off if my partner did that.

Loloblue · 15/04/2026 19:38

What an appalling example to set for his children especially the boy...!

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 15/04/2026 19:39

Shocking! What is it teaching those kids! Don’t stand for it.

Loloblue · 15/04/2026 19:39

Tacohill · 15/04/2026 19:19

I voted YABU because I am your DH.

I’ll have my headphones on any chance I get.

I am exhausted after work and the only thing that gives me the energy to cook and clean is having my headphones in listening to an audiobook or music.

I don’t understand why some people (and it’s generally women) have to constantly talk.

I will absolutely pause it if my DC wants to speak to me but it sounds like your DH does do this.

I think as you all know he uses headphones, making sure he’s listening before you start talking is a good idea.

Like the issue with school - I would have got his attention and he should have paused his phone and gave you and his child his full attention until a solution had been found.
Then he can go back to what he was doing.

It does sound like you constantly want to talk.
You say your parents had the TV on but you could still talk over it - that would drive me mad if I was trying to watch something and people were talking.

You think it's acceptable to ignore his children and act like an avoidant teenager? Get real.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 15/04/2026 19:40

Go out without telling him. Tell him you told him but he must not have heard.

Error404FucksNotFound · 15/04/2026 19:41

Tell your children to get his attention by standing in front of him and waving their arms. You do the same.
Don't let him get away with plugging in and opting out.

Sparkletastic · 15/04/2026 19:44

Not acceptable

Leavelingeringbreath · 15/04/2026 19:51

Allthedays1 · 15/04/2026 18:45

I've mentioned it before and he says "I can't hear my program otherwise" he does it when he is doing something like washing up, making food etc but I find it so rude it just blocks free flow talk. As a kid my parents had the TV on all the time but it felt less intrusive because they could still hear us.

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But why is he constantly watching something it's like a bloody screen obsessed teenager, how utterly unattractive

I'm afraid this would just be such a huge turnoff for me. He doesn't need to be constantly moronically watching a screen how awful it's like he needs screen limits like a child!

Leavelingeringbreath · 15/04/2026 19:54

Tacohill · 15/04/2026 19:19

I voted YABU because I am your DH.

I’ll have my headphones on any chance I get.

I am exhausted after work and the only thing that gives me the energy to cook and clean is having my headphones in listening to an audiobook or music.

I don’t understand why some people (and it’s generally women) have to constantly talk.

I will absolutely pause it if my DC wants to speak to me but it sounds like your DH does do this.

I think as you all know he uses headphones, making sure he’s listening before you start talking is a good idea.

Like the issue with school - I would have got his attention and he should have paused his phone and gave you and his child his full attention until a solution had been found.
Then he can go back to what he was doing.

It does sound like you constantly want to talk.
You say your parents had the TV on but you could still talk over it - that would drive me mad if I was trying to watch something and people were talking.

If you want to listen to music while cleaning why not just play music in the room you are in? Why the headphones? It's so rude as it effectively is like saying 'fuck off and don't talk to me I'm off limits' to your family. It's such a barrier to normal human interaction I'm sorry I think that's a really strange way to behave around your own family it's like you are putting a constant barrier up to them.

Tacohill · 15/04/2026 19:58

Loloblue · 15/04/2026 19:39

You think it's acceptable to ignore his children and act like an avoidant teenager? Get real.

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OP says he pauses it when someone’s trying to talk to him.

Its different if he was using it to ignore everyone but as she says he does it when he’s washing up, cooking etc and most kids don’t stand there and talk to you they’re off doing their own thing.

Obviously he should (and does) stop when someone is talking to him.

But you’re suggesting that he’s not allowed to do it at all just in case someone wants to talk to him.

DeltaVariant · 15/04/2026 20:00

Maybe a water pistol to get his attention?

ignorant fucker trying to opt out of family life. Diddums to the headache, women have to crack on so …

TheDenimPoet · 15/04/2026 20:00

I'd actually prefer this over what my DP does, which is just watch his videos regardless of what's going on around him, or if I'm watching something else (which I then can't concentrate on).

There has to be some kind of comprise as everyone deserves some chill time, but I think it needs to be in a room on his own, rather than when he's supposed to be interacting with his family. And, of course, you need to get the same amount of chill time.

OrangeSlices998 · 15/04/2026 20:02

Allthedays1 · 15/04/2026 18:45

I've mentioned it before and he says "I can't hear my program otherwise" he does it when he is doing something like washing up, making food etc but I find it so rude it just blocks free flow talk. As a kid my parents had the TV on all the time but it felt less intrusive because they could still hear us.

Show quote history

Have you directly told him to stop watching his tablet and parenting his kids? What’s he bring to your life, honestly? This would be a deal breaker for me.

Tacohill · 15/04/2026 20:04

Leavelingeringbreath · 15/04/2026 19:54

If you want to listen to music while cleaning why not just play music in the room you are in? Why the headphones? It's so rude as it effectively is like saying 'fuck off and don't talk to me I'm off limits' to your family. It's such a barrier to normal human interaction I'm sorry I think that's a really strange way to behave around your own family it's like you are putting a constant barrier up to them.

Show quote history

Because usually my music is inappropriate and because I’m based in the kitchen for cooking but things like laundry and hoovering etc is all around the house.
I don’t want to miss bits.

When I’m listening to a thriller I definitely don’t want to miss bits and there’s TV and music playing in other areas of the house and it’s difficult to get into it if it’s on loudspeaker.

Have you never read a book?

When do you do this if you feel it’s rude to do it whilst your DH and kids are home?
Or is it ok for them to constantly have conversations with you whilst you’re trying to read?

What about if someone phones you?
Is it ok to answer the phone and talk to someone else, even though that means you can’t have a conversation with your DH and DCs at the same time?

MagnusCanis · 15/04/2026 20:06

TheDenimPoet · 15/04/2026 20:00

I'd actually prefer this over what my DP does, which is just watch his videos regardless of what's going on around him, or if I'm watching something else (which I then can't concentrate on).

There has to be some kind of comprise as everyone deserves some chill time, but I think it needs to be in a room on his own, rather than when he's supposed to be interacting with his family. And, of course, you need to get the same amount of chill time.

Is he an infuriating bellend on public transport too?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/04/2026 20:07

Ew no! It’s not ok for him to come home and just check out of life there. If my DH was doing this all the time, I’d be majorly pissed off! Occasionally whilst watching a time pressured programme (recently the rugby) doesn’t bother me but he can still hear us and engages in family life around him.

Have you tried telling him why this is not acceptable to you?

Flamingojune · 15/04/2026 20:09

Tacohill · 15/04/2026 19:19

I voted YABU because I am your DH.

I’ll have my headphones on any chance I get.

I am exhausted after work and the only thing that gives me the energy to cook and clean is having my headphones in listening to an audiobook or music.

I don’t understand why some people (and it’s generally women) have to constantly talk.

I will absolutely pause it if my DC wants to speak to me but it sounds like your DH does do this.

I think as you all know he uses headphones, making sure he’s listening before you start talking is a good idea.

Like the issue with school - I would have got his attention and he should have paused his phone and gave you and his child his full attention until a solution had been found.
Then he can go back to what he was doing.

It does sound like you constantly want to talk.
You say your parents had the TV on but you could still talk over it - that would drive me mad if I was trying to watch something and people were talking.

If youre part of a family you should be part of it