AIBU to want out after being love bombed so quickly

[Pistachioo]

I know I am being love bombed. Relentless texting, false promises, the L word so soon. I want out of this relationship but what is the best way to escape this sort of person?

“I don’t feel we are compatible and my feelings aren’t going to change. I need you to respect my feelings and I want you to stop contacting me.”

Thats not love bombing that's stalking.

I agree with others you kight want to check in with women's aid or similar. But this is the sort of approach I would take.

Via text or phone. Not face tk face.
Before you so contact Women's Aid for advice.
Inform friends and parents that you will be doing it on X date abd have then block his number.
Make sure you have a ring doorbell fully charged at all times.
Make sure your mobile is fully charged at all times.
Log with the police every single time he makes contact with you or your relatives. Logging it as it happens shows the pattern of behaviours, which is really important.
When you text, do not give a reason, keep it a statement. My feelings have changed abd I no longer think we are compatible. Then block and move on. Giving any reason at all juat gives them information to try and convince you otherwise. Short, blunt, block. Give them no room for manoeuvre.
Have a code word with friends abd family in case, something random that they know means trouble with him and to get help.
Wishing you luck. You can do this.

This person is a narcissist and you need to make sure you make this split permanent. Absolutely get help from womens aid or Suzy Lamplugh trust.
Block him off everything, don't answer any unknown numbers. Tell your friends etc, and screenshot or record any attempts to contact you. If you don't have a ring doorbell, get one.

last time I ended I felt so much lighter until all the phone calls/turning up at my house etc. I tried to talk to him and he ended up persuading me that things would change. I honestly just want an easy life. He hasn’t changed, he knows exactly when I have read my messages and rings me if I don’t reply he also demands that on the days I don’t have the children they are HIS days, what about MY days? He has given me the ick and I just can’t even bring myself to talk to him. The amount of times I have told him I am busy at work today is exhausting as he said I am a nightmare at replying. I don’t want to text him all day.

Have you posted before? Tried to end the relationship then?
The only way to deal with an abusive person is by having rock solid boundaries and involving the police if you have to.

Id also recommend doing a Claire’s law. I suspect there is more to this man given what you’ve said.

I did try, it says that the police give you the outcome face to face and it all seems a bit dramatic.

Sorry OP but you are not telling him it's over. You need to say it's over and mean it.

You should not be txting him at all either.

Not dramatic at all. They need to ensure and disclosure is safe and also risk plan for any actions from it.

Well I have because he told he would change etc so I stupidly allowed him to work his way back in.

Just say goodbye.

I’ve met a couple of men like this. You need to be really firm and mean it, then block everywhere. End it by text, firmly tell him if he comes to your house you will call the police, block him and then be very careful for a while.

neither of the guys I met were dangerous (I don’t think) but they were really persistent, contacting my family etc. I had to get family to block them too. It never needed the police but it needed a very firm no.

Text him it is over and ask that he not contact you again.

You need to help yourself by being firm and not giving mixed messages.

Should he contact you again, tell him you will now be contacting the police.

Then contact the police.

Do it for your children.
They need protecting from this mess.

Tell him clearly in a text that you do not want to continue the relationship. State that he is not to contact you.

Screenshot this text and his name, address and number and send them to a friend to keep for you.

delete and block his number and do not respond at all to any attempts to make contact

contact the police if it continues

Block him.
Stop responding.

Go to the police immediately.
You need a Clare's Law done on him ASAP. You're not overreacting.

He sounds very dangerous.

"This relationship is not making me happy. It is over. Any attempt to contact me (or my friends or family) again will be treated as harassment." Then block everywhere, hold firm and be ready to report to the police.

🙄 Always one

I think you need to be clear and to the point. Don't bother trying to cushion the blow...Just message him saying that you're ending it and please don't contact you or again

Eg
Hi Bob
This relationship isn't working for me and I'm calling it a day, it's over. Please don't contact me (or my family/friends etc) again. Wish you the best for the future,
Pistachioo

Then if his harassment continues, don't hesitate just go straight to the police. Don't send any additional messages, make the break up one the last.

No I am not enjoying it. I have myself and my children to protect and I want to do It right.

So you didn’t actually try, you just didn’t want to go ahead with it? It seems dramatic because it is dramatic. If they want to come and talk to you, then there is clearly something there that they feel you need to be aware of to help you preserve your safety and well being. If you don’t want to listen or engage with them, then how can they help you?

If you fear for your safety then there comes a certain point where you alone are responsible for ensuring your safety. So far, the way you’ve been handling it clearly isn’t working. So the only option is to start taking this seriously.

You need to contact the police, get the Claire’s law info, get a restraining order, block his number, screen calls from unknown numbers and tell him to stay away from you and your family. This is abusive controlling manipulative behaviour, he’s not going to stop unless you be very very firm.