To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

Jesus wept, you have a very low bar if you think your cousin is a "nice boy"! He's a violent little thug. Your BF may not have spoken to him in the most friendly manner, and he may have been a bit of a dick sitting in that seat, but that didn't warrant being attacked with a heavy object. Your cousin could have done some really serious damage. He needs to see a child psychiatrist if he has these sorts of anger issues at only 9. What's he going to be like when he's older and stronger?

So was Ted Bundy apparently!
This needs to be addressed asap, your BF whilst harsh didn't and shouldn't have been assaulted like that, I would have called the police 9 years old or not, he needs professional help not just a telling off by his Mother.

I wonder how long before he starts attacking teachers. Probably not long.

Your cousin is a thug, a 9 year old one.
Your boyfriend isn't nice at all.

Your judgement is so seriously flawed on both counts.

Agree with others, you need to tell your Aunt what happened. Your boyfriend behaved badly, but your cousin lashed out and has caused your boyfriend to be injured. Your cousin can't go around hitting people with his scooter and stamping on people either.

Your boyfriend needs to go to A&E and have his wrist x-rayed. The wrist has many small bones, that can easily fracture/break.

Of course his parents need to know, can't believe you're even considering not telling them. This boy has anger issues and needs to face the consequences of his actions.

I'm sure a lot of violent attackers in prison are nice sometimes.

This is an excellent point.

@Zanygreenan Violent criminals (and young, potential killers) do not go round snarling at everyone with their fists clenched all the time - especially not family.

He's got something wrong with him and needs help.

You did the right thing telling your aunt.

Just to note that cousin didn't stop at two hits.
OP dragged him away.
Sounds like he would otherwise have kept on hitting the BF.

This is very serious OP.
I think BF should report it to the police - this was a very severe assault.
And he's only 9

What a vile child. What must his home life be like to be so horrid.

Your aunt needs to know. You can't keep this secret. Also get your bf to hospital. Walk your cousin back, tell Aunt the facts and take bf to hospital to check wrist not broken and he doesn't have concussion

"Zanygreenan · Today 21:49

My aunt popped round and I told her exactly what happened"

He isn’t a nice boy.

You are also severely lacking in judgment and have a lot of growing up to do.

But just to be clear, he is not a nice boy.

He said sorry before he left? Oh that’s alright then!

Your minimising of his behaviour is disgraceful. I actually think a good talking to by the police might scare this boy out of continuing down a dark path. He needs help, and pretending it didn’t happen will only end up in others being seriously hurt.

Also, an ambulance for a potentially broken wrist (when you can drive him) is utterly ridiculous.

Well, I wouldn't think much of an adult who said that to a child - I guess your standards are different.

Steady on.

I could tell you some stories about my judgement at 21 years old.

She's hasn't hit anyone with a scooter or been "mean" to anyone. She was asking for help to do the right thing. (or making stuff up).

My comment was regarding op saying,

’I’ve popped into BF and his wrist has swollen a bit more and he can’t move it so I’ve told him I’m either going to call the ambulance or take him to A+E so we’ve decided to take him there’.

That’s bratty behaviour and he needs to be punished. Of course you should tell his parents. But also think your cousin shouldn’t be around your boyfriend speaking to him like that.

All I can say is that’s not normal bahaviour. Causing that level of injury takes considerable force so it’s quite worrying. This event should not be minimised!

Except him getting help for his violence?

Bc he got decked by a 9 year old?

I would tell the parents but maybe not immediately today or in front of the child. Find a good calm moment.

Id have gone right off the boyfriend. I can’t abide adults teasing child - or any
teasing really but this especially. Sounds like BF was trying to feel like a big man by asserting himself over a child.

It’s very troubling that your cousin
acted with such extreme violence but wouldn’t be able to look at the boyfriend in the same way.

You need to tell , that not normal behaviour for a 9 year old , o have one at home and she wouldn’t think about being this violent ! Is this normal for him?

Well quite.

This is a "who is more wrong" situation. BF is a total arsehole, and cousin needs help to manage his anger. However, as cousin is 9 he is less culpable.

Suspect that BF didnt want OP to say anything as then he would have to admit to being beaten up by a 9 year old.

Your cousin shouldn't of hit your boyfriend. However it's his reaction as your boyfriend refused to move out of his seat. I can see why your cousin did it. But doesn't make it right.

I'd be reconsidering your relationship with your boyfriend. He sounds nasty.

So because an adult refused to move it’s perfectly acceptable to beat him up with a SCOOTER and break his wrist?!?!! What’s wrong with you??!!!