To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

Oh come on! BF certainly didn't deserve what happened but NOTHING would excuse an adult punching a child.
The child's behaviour is of course incredibly abnormal and concerning, but extreme violence like that doesn't come from nowhere- likely either abuse/trauma or SEN.
He definitely needs some help.

Nice bit of victim blaming. Well done you

Absolutely.

Your boyfriend does not get to speak meanly to your cousin and tell him to go away however. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to get himself medical attention, and that you won't be responsible for it.

That's a scrappy little 9 year old, beating the crap out of your BF who was a dick to him.

Walk him home, tell the parents, and get your BF medical attention.

Your BF FAFO big time.

BF is grown - it's up to him if he doesn't want to go to A&E. Btw, he was out of line with your cousin, 'the whole refusing to move with a mean tone'. Why didn't you back up your cousin?

Next time it might be a small child who upsets the cousin while he has a potential weapon in his hands. He already has previous for fighting, he needs to learn how to restrain his aggression, and he can’t do that on his own, his parents need to know.

The BF needs to learn not to tease kids he doesn’t know well, and he needs to get his hand checked, lots of small bones and nerves in wrists and hands.

He hit him over the head twice with a scooter, not the same as a scrappy kid punching him a couple of times. If he had hit a child he could have killed them.

your BF may have a scull fracture. These scooters are metal. If a child is strong enough to possibly break a wrist by stomping on it I’m guessing they are strong and hit him really hard.

Your BF needs to be assessed for concussion if he was hit in the head twice with a scooter. He shouldn't drive there either. His wrist probably needs an X Ray too.

I'm glad you told your aunt about the fight. She needs to know about that.

BF started this shit. He just didn't expect such a disproportionate response. He's a 23 year old picking on a 9 year old.

9 year violently assaults an adult over a relatively trivial matter ( dump your b.f btw)

id be calling the police and getting him help via the youth offending team your cousin is a psycho and needs help

wait until they are home before telling his mum

as an adult you cannot keep secrets like this , its a serious safeguarding matter

dump bf at A and E

BF was a dick but that in no way excuses your cousin. He should go to A&E but you can't make him. Once this matter is done with, seriously consider what you're doing with him.

You did the right thing telling your aunt. This violent child needs intervention before he gets worse. I hope she takes his behaviour seriously.

You did the right thing telling your aunt.

Your boyfriend not being "much of child person" doesn't excuse his rude and antagonist behaviour towards your cousin. It would be a massive turn off for me.

Your boyfriend probably doesn't want you to tell anyone about the incident as 1.) it's embarrassing he got beaten up by a 9yo and 2.) his petty behaviour that lead to him getting beaten up is embarrassing too!

Was your boyfriend's behaviour out of character, or quite normal for him? And was he sober or had he been drinking?

You definitely tell the parent of the violent out of control child

You know you can dump him right? If he's aggressive with a 9 yr old that's a serious red flag.

As for your cousin hitting him. Yeah tell his mum, does the child see violence at home?

The only time I'd not be keen to tell a parent is if the child was worried they'd be hit

You definitely need to dump the bf!

He may be under the age of criminal responsibility but it may trigger a social services referral.
this behavior is beyond a kid fighting. This was a severe assault that could have killed your BF.

I’m glad you came to your senses and told his parents. Think of the damage he could have done if it had been another 9yo he had assaulted that way.
And it’s in his best interest too - the earlier his anger issues are realised and the earlier he gets help to learn to manage them in a safe and healthy way, the less likely it will be cor him to get in serious, life altering trouble because of them.

Your bf is an adult and needs to sort his injury out himself. Please be wary of a man that is not tolerant of children if you plan on having them with children from someone who knows!
Your cousin has real anger issues by the sound of things he needs some therapy. That is not normal behaviour imagine if he did that to another child.

Cousin is a nice boy overall

No, he absolutely is not. He's 9, violent and has anger issues. You have a duty to tell your aunt so she knows. This wasn't an accident... he purposefully attacked your BF multiple times.

Also... your BF sounds like a prick too. Why is a grown man antagonising 9 year old kids anyway?

Your cousin is not a “nice kid”.

Telling your aunt was the right choice.

For the future, my response to a 9-year-old would have been "It's not ok to keep secrets about someone being hurt, even when we're worried about getting in trouble. Do you want to talk to your mum with me or would you rather I talk to her alone?"

And ditch the bf. Life's too short to fill yours with people who are arseholes to children. He's an adult and can decide if he wants to seek medical care or not.

Well your boyfriend doesn’t sound like a nice person and your cousin needs help with his behaviour before he seriously hurts someone/ gets himself in a lot of trouble

A great deal depends on how the child asked for his seat back. If it was at all rude or demanding I'm afraid I am with the BF on this. He needs putting in his place. If he asked nicely perhaps I don't support the BF so much.

Of course you need to tell your aunt. Your cousin sounds a thug. Appalling behaviour.

Your BF sounds like a dick. Do you actually want to be with someone like that?

a child who is acting that violently at 9 years old is a serious concern. I hope your aunt takes it seriously.