To tell/not tell family after cousin hit BF with scooter? Both don’t want me to

[Zanygreenan]

I’m 21, my mum and dad are in Cancun this week for their 25th anniversary so I’m home alone this week. I invited my boyfriend, 23, round for a stopover tonight for a bit of company and my little cousin, 9, who lives on our estate one street away, popped in whilst playing out on his scooter with a friend.

We were sitting in the garden and my cousin was sat in a seat and got up for a drink and my BF sat in his seat whilst he was gone. Cousin asked him to move and BF refused and telling cousin and his friend to play somewhere else (with a mean tone). Cousin was angry that he refused to move and then hit BF in the face with his scooter. BF fell back out of the chair and then cousin hit him once more with the scooter and stamped on his wrist. I then managed to pull cousin off him and sent him in the house. Then I rinsed off the blood from BF’s face and then he sat down in the conservatory.

He has a massive headache and can’t move his wrist. BF doesn’t want anyone to know about the interaction and doesn’t want to go to hospital but he may have broken his wrist so I suggested it would be best to pop into A&E to check? Cousin has asked me not to say anything to his mum (my aunt) or my mum because he doesn’t want to get into trouble considering that he has already had a fight at school last year. Cousin is a nice boy overall but he doesn’t react well to confrontation and gets aggressive quickly and BF’s attitude towards him this afternoon topped him over the edge.

My aunt has just text me asking to walk cousin back to theirs as it’s starting to get dark out. I don’t know what to do as cousin is begging me not to say anything and BF also doesn’t want me to say anything either but if I don’t say anything it’ll look bad on me when eventually when his and my parents find out. I just feel like I’m stuck in the middle of an awkward situation.

What should I do?

My aunt popped round and I told her exactly what happened and cousin told his side. She was very angry at cousin and took him home but she wasn’t pleased at how BF treated him either.

I’ve popped into BF and his wrist has swollen a bit more and he can’t move it so I’ve told him I’m either going to call the ambulance or take him to A+E so we’ve decided to take him there.

And to everyone saying he isn’t a nice boy, he actually is. Having anger issues doesn’t mean he isn’t nice in general. He told me he was sorry just before they left.

What are your boyfriends redeeming qualities?

If a child hit me with a scooter twice like that, then Id hit them back.

I think that is a wise choice op. Hope you get seen quickly

‘Cousin is a nice boy’

No he isn’t. You have to tell his mother. Then at least you can have a clear conscious years from now when he’s in jail for murdering someone.

No boy who hits people in the face with a scooter and stomps on their wrist to break it can in any way be described as a "good kid overall." Keep making these excuses for him when he's nine and you'll be posting bail for him when he's 19. What he did was very wrong, very serious, very bad, and needs immediate and serious intervention.

Don’t call an ambulance for his wrist

Ditch the boyfriend and tell your cousin's parents - he needs intervention.

It doesn't particularly matter if he's sorry. He's 9 and extremely violent... he isn't a nice boy. You do realise that he could have smashed your BFs head in causing serious brain damage or death had he not stopped at two hits.

Also... has someone contacted your cousins friends parents? They need to know their 9yr old witnessed a violent attack.

Glad your BF is getting seen to.

Your boyfriend is a grown man, whether he goes to a&e or not and whatever consequences arise from that are not your concern. Youre not his mother.

Your cousin is a little thug. If hes big and hard enough to go hitting grown men in the face with dangerous objects, hes big and hard enough to face his mummy.

You do not mother grown men, their decisions are their own to make.

You do not pander to violent children, actions have consequences.

Definitely need to tell his parents. That's shockingly disproportionate response to what happened and if he continues to react in such a volatile way, he'll end up in YOI and eventually prison.

The fact that you care about helping this person after you witnessed him behaving the way he did doesn't say good things about you OP - time for some reflection I think.

What about cos he was smacked in the face with a metal scooter with enough force for him to fall off the chair and then hit with the scooter again when on the ground? He may need a skull X-ray.

I have impulsive children diagnosed adhd.
There is something severely wrong with you nephew to hit someone in face twice with a scooter and then stamp in his wrist- thats not normal and it shouldn't be minimised. He could kill a.younger child doing that. He needs intervention now

huh? What behavior? Op hasn’t said. For all we know he just said “fuck off im sitting here now”

Still doesn’t need an ambulance based on what Op has said. He can get to a&e himself and save the ambulances for people who need them.

You do realise a bleed on the brain isn’t always apparent at first?

The fact that you had to pull him off is very concerning. Stop minimising what your cousin did and stop suggesting it was mostly your BF's fault.

He'll probably be triaged hours sooner by getting there independently than waiting for a category 3 ambulance.

I take it you've never watched Ambulance on BBC 1?

Of course you should hes a violent little shit.

Aunt and parents need to know. Can just see cousin as a charming teenager (and in borstal).

Yes, but as long as he is getting driven, not driving himself, and reports head trauma when he arrives, it is in fact much better for him not to wait for an ambulance/take an ambulance away from someone in more need of one.

The 9 year old sounds like an absolute psychopath in the making and needs serious help. If he happily attacks a grown man like that with no fear then something is seriously wrong with him.

Wow, you must not minimise what that boy has done!
He has assaulted a grown man, so much so that he needs to go to hospital.

The boy needs help for his anger issues before he reaches the age of criminal responsibility and ends up in youth detention if he doesn't change his ways.

Maybe consider whether you want to be alone with him if he is so volatile and violent.

Hope your bf is okay.
He shouldn't be embarrassed by being battered by a 9 year old. Maybe he can use it as leverage to get him sorted if his Mum is blasé about it.

I'm sure a lot of violent attackers in prison are nice sometimes. Let's hope that's not your cousin's future.