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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you find hot in a man? What do you think men like on a woman? Lighthearted Friday chat 🤷‍♀️

243 replies

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:08

In a man:
Muscles
Height (sorry)
Aura - are they strong or weak?

I think straight men notice:
Skin (does it have that dewy look)
Shape
How much you care for yourself (manicure, hair, etc)

OP posts:
freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:09

Not a troll, a regular user! 🥰

OP posts:
Blimms · 10/04/2026 12:09

Intelligence, integrity and a good moral compass.

AmberSpy · 10/04/2026 12:09

I disagree on the manicure lol, as a woman I think manicures are 100% things that women do for themselves rather than because men give a damn about them.

Branster · 10/04/2026 12:11

I’m imagining men favour boobs (not size so much as shape and proportion to the rest of the body), defined waist to contrast with wider hips, lips and general fluid confident movements.

Thechaseison71 · 10/04/2026 12:12

I like a man who is " practical" Find someone doing physical work such as carpentry, city etc much sexier than a suited bod at a computer

As for physical attributes no beard and not skinny Oh and hairy chest

Springsucks · 10/04/2026 12:12

Intelligent
Well spoken
Dark hair
Strong forearms
Hairy chest
Above all a sense of humour!

steelseries · 10/04/2026 12:12

In a man:
quiet confidence
light eyes
straight and white natural teeth (NOT turkey teeth!)

I think straight men notice
body type (curvy/slim)
confidence
hair length

DuckyDolittle · 10/04/2026 12:12

As a bi woman, for me the sexiest physical feature that is the same for a man or woman is hands. I can't even pin down what rhe quality is, I just know it when I see it. Also eyes, deep, gorgeous, kind, sparkly.

Non physical are self-assurance, humour and intelligence.

MotherTuckinGenius · 10/04/2026 12:12

In a man

Height
Nice Forearms (lightly tanned and not overly hairy)
Eyes
Smile

I think men go for

Youthful looks/demeaner
Slim figure

Sartre · 10/04/2026 12:13

I really don’t think many men notice manicures at all…

I have found lots of men hate intelligence. They don’t want a smart woman who can call them out, stand on her own two feet, defend herself, squash them in an argument. This is not all men by any means, academic men tend to prefer the company of academic women. But yes, I think a lot of men prefer a less intelligent woman or at least one who acts the part…

ChamonixMountainBum · 10/04/2026 12:13

Springsucks · 10/04/2026 12:12

Intelligent
Well spoken
Dark hair
Strong forearms
Hairy chest
Above all a sense of humour!

Me
Me
Me
Me
Me
Me

This is uncanny.

Sartre · 10/04/2026 12:15

I like dark or red haired intelligent men. Nice when they’re starting to grey a bit. Ambition is hot, as is intellect and I like it when they can hold a decent conversation. Not arsed about height.

Firesidechatter · 10/04/2026 12:16

I don’t think men in general prefer less intelligent women, I think less intelligent men, prefer less intelligent women.

for men, I think it is often physical. Slim body, good hair, pretty face, whilst be outgoing, confident, chatty and kind.

for women, I think it’s often height, fitness, good hair, strong, chiselled or good looking face, and a can do, decisive, caring manner.

L0V315 · 10/04/2026 12:18

Swords
Bare thighs
A bit of armour
A decent size cock

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:18

DuckyDolittle · 10/04/2026 12:12

As a bi woman, for me the sexiest physical feature that is the same for a man or woman is hands. I can't even pin down what rhe quality is, I just know it when I see it. Also eyes, deep, gorgeous, kind, sparkly.

Non physical are self-assurance, humour and intelligence.

Oo I forgot to add the lesbian/gay/bi opinion too, apologies all

Re hands

Big strong hands for men? Slender hands for women? Or something else entirely? 🥰

OP posts:
nonevernotever · 10/04/2026 12:18

Intelligence
Kindness
Sense of humour
Shared moral compass
And a nice arse.

Maybe controversial and obviously not all men, but I would never go for a man with a twinkle in their eyes. Every one I've met that has been described to me as having lovely twinkle eyes or having a twinkle has been a serial womaniser/cheat.

Luckily for me my DH's list of requirements also focused heavily on nonphysical attributes 🤣

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:19

L0V315 · 10/04/2026 12:18

Swords
Bare thighs
A bit of armour
A decent size cock

A bit of armour?

Agree, a decent size cock 😄

Not too big, but good enough!

OP posts:
freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:20

AmberSpy · 10/04/2026 12:09

I disagree on the manicure lol, as a woman I think manicures are 100% things that women do for themselves rather than because men give a damn about them.

Really?

Maybe straight men like them clean and neat though?

OP posts:
UnderHousemaid · 10/04/2026 12:21

nonevernotever · 10/04/2026 12:18

Intelligence
Kindness
Sense of humour
Shared moral compass
And a nice arse.

Maybe controversial and obviously not all men, but I would never go for a man with a twinkle in their eyes. Every one I've met that has been described to me as having lovely twinkle eyes or having a twinkle has been a serial womaniser/cheat.

Luckily for me my DH's list of requirements also focused heavily on nonphysical attributes 🤣

The 'twinkle' always shows up in those Take A Break Stories about finding love:

'I met Dave when he came to repair the toilet. 'There you go, love,' he joked as he handed me a toilet roll. He had a twinkle in his eye and a lovely bum.'

Always accompanied by a photograph of Dave, who looks like an angry thumb covered in tattoos.

nonevernotever · 10/04/2026 12:22

Oh and height, muscles and penis size are all irrelevant to me. However treat children, old people, waiters/shop staff etc well and I'll melt.

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:22

UnderHousemaid · 10/04/2026 12:21

The 'twinkle' always shows up in those Take A Break Stories about finding love:

'I met Dave when he came to repair the toilet. 'There you go, love,' he joked as he handed me a toilet roll. He had a twinkle in his eye and a lovely bum.'

Always accompanied by a photograph of Dave, who looks like an angry thumb covered in tattoos.

France Laughing GIF

😄

OP posts:
Whosthetabbynow · 10/04/2026 12:24

Springsucks · 10/04/2026 12:12

Intelligent
Well spoken
Dark hair
Strong forearms
Hairy chest
Above all a sense of humour!

What about the man? 🤭

Sartre · 10/04/2026 12:24

Firesidechatter · 10/04/2026 12:16

I don’t think men in general prefer less intelligent women, I think less intelligent men, prefer less intelligent women.

for men, I think it is often physical. Slim body, good hair, pretty face, whilst be outgoing, confident, chatty and kind.

for women, I think it’s often height, fitness, good hair, strong, chiselled or good looking face, and a can do, decisive, caring manner.

It’s always physical initially for both sexes and this is obviously subjective. When a person opens their mouth this can immediately change - we’ve all met someone like that before! It can run both ways of course. Someone can be physically hot, then you realise they’re also intelligent/funny/caring whatever you go for, and you’re hooked.

I think lots of men are put off when you’re highly intelligent, maybe because they know you’ll see through their shit.

freedomformeismotherhood · 10/04/2026 12:24

nonevernotever · 10/04/2026 12:22

Oh and height, muscles and penis size are all irrelevant to me. However treat children, old people, waiters/shop staff etc well and I'll melt.

Girl, sorry what??

Manners are important but surely you dont want a bald 2 foot man with a Ken doll smoothness down there??

OP posts:
Firesidechatter · 10/04/2026 12:26

Sartre · 10/04/2026 12:24

It’s always physical initially for both sexes and this is obviously subjective. When a person opens their mouth this can immediately change - we’ve all met someone like that before! It can run both ways of course. Someone can be physically hot, then you realise they’re also intelligent/funny/caring whatever you go for, and you’re hooked.

I think lots of men are put off when you’re highly intelligent, maybe because they know you’ll see through their shit.

I don’t agree, I think sadly That’s the men you know.