AIBU to be angry my sister left my 16-year-old alone?

[Rubexellen]

Evening all,
My DD is 16, she’s in Y11. A little while ago I mentioned to my sister a couple of the areas of work my DD is interested in potentially pursuing. My sister told me that her friend’s son and DIL who are mid-late 20s happened to be an immigration solicitor and a researcher at a think tank focusing on migration and refugees. This is something my DD is very much interested in so my sister agreed to set up a coffee with them and DD so DD could ask some questions.

This coffee took place today, it’s the school holidays so I was at work and the deal was, my sister would meet DD in London at the train station and take her to meet this young couple. We don’t live too far from London but DD has never been into London alone before, not even with friends (we are closer to Brighton so they tend to go there instead).

DD has just told me that my sister did meet her at the station and accompany her to the cafe but she didn’t stay, leaving my 16 year old DD alone with this couple effectively.
DD said they were lovely and they answered all her questions and she found it very useful but she felt a bit uncomfortable. Then when they were finished she realised she didn’t know how to get back to the station for her train home. She said she asked them just for directions and they offered to accompany her back to the station and waited with her until she was on the train.

Now I’m beyond angry, my sister never implied she would be leaving DD with them and if I had known that was her plan I’d have suggested DD not go as London is a massive city and these are strangers!

I want to have a harsh word with my sister and tell her that was totally inappropriate not just for DD, but probably for these young adults who were left with a teenager they don’t know!

AIBU to be furious?

Is this a joke? My then 12 year old navigated us round NY, found restaurants to cater for specific dietary requirements, He can do this because we have taught him how! By the time he’s 16 I’d expect him to be able to navigate himself on and off planes, through airports and get to a hotel! It’s a life skill. Rather than concentrating on your sister you should be building up your DD, congratulating her on dealing with the situation, be grateful to your sister for giving your DD this opportunity. Find out what particularly was difficult for your DD and talk through how to handle these situations

You have a couple of years before she will be navigating herself round uni, living life as an adult. Make sure she’s equipped for this!

For me both sisters failed, unless you asked about all the arrangements for travelling?

If your dd is mature enough to take up other people's valuable time to develop her career plans she's old enough to sit and speak to them without a nanny and to find her way to the local teain station. If she's not mature enough for those things then perhaps that's what she needs to work on.

I work with teens and I would have been clear about the plans and ensured we were on the same page and make sure your daughter knew how to get back afterwards, if for whatever reason I couldn’t wait around.

London and tubes etc is a lot for a teenager who has never been there before, or never been there alone before and perhaps your daughter would have dealt with it differently had she known she’d be left alone rather than have it sprung on her in front of strangers without any opportunity to talk it through.

Were you expecting your sister to sit in on the coffee too? Or was she perhaps waiting for your DD to call her once she was done to meet up with her again?
This is a big part of becoming an adult being able to navigate these situations on your own. They sounded great by safely getting her back to where she needs to be, but like others have said, Google maps would be your best friend here. Alternatively ensuring you have some cash available in the bank to get a taxi/Uber back to the station directly.

Why would your sister sit in on the coffee or hang around?

If you expected this you should have made it clear.

I started full time work three weeks after my 16th birthday, in a different town to my home. You need to stop babying your DD.

At 15 I took 2 planes and a train to meet my older sister in France. I'd never flown before or even been abroad. I don't remember either me or my parents thinking this was odd and this was years before mobile phones.

I think you need to let your daughter grow up and equip her for adult life.

Even the wording you have used op is she agreed to set up coffee. She’s done exactly that.
I did some work experience at magistrates court at 16 ish. Friend of my cousin. I got public transport there it wasn’t local to me, I’d not been on a tram before. I was very grateful to my cousin and his friend for opportunity.

Jesus i stuck a backpack on at 17 and spent almost a full year backpacking around Asia.

There’s no mention of tube. Niece was met at station and walked by sister to coffee shop. I’d expect her to be able to retrace steps back an hour later. Look on google maps if unsure.

I thought the same as you.
DD was hardly with dangerous criminals.

How old are you now, OP?

How old is your DD?

You both might want to think about wising up.

(Then again, it is the school holidays.)

I absolutely would expect your sister to leave her to have the conversation on her own. She was in no danger and it will have been a learning experience.

Leaving her alone there and going home without telling her? That’s rude. Of course she can navigate it herself, but having never done so and being left to figure it out alone for the first time in a busy city? Yes I’d be annoyed for sure. Not because she was unsafe necessarily, but because it was rude.

You’ve written that the deal was your sister would meet your daughter and take her to meet this couple. Job done and a thank you.

It’s very likely your sister assumed your daughter would know how to get back. You didn’t clarify what the return arrangements were. This is on you, if you’re looking to blame someone. I can see why you’d be worried, just not sure you’re directing your anger in the right direction.

I can't believe this is real! At 16 your daughter shouldn't have needed your sister to collect her from the station in the first place. And I can't believe she asked them for directions and then let them walk her there and wait for the train with her. At 16 I would have died of embarrassment at being that incapable.

I don’t think the trains / travelling were the concern.

Fucking hell! I was working full time as a bank cashier at 16 ! I also had to find my way there and back alone. I was married at 20. Cop yourself on!

I am surprised that no one- you, your daughter, or sister discussed return arrangements. If I went with my aunt, she would surely say, call me when you are done or I'll come back in an hour. Nothing was discussed at all? Especially when your daughter was a bit nervous to find her way back to station. That's poor planning on all your parts.

I too think it was fine. Sixteen year olds travel to and around London all the time, I daresay your sister thought she would know what to do. Central London is not difficult to navigate, there are tube stations everywhere.

I was travelling to London, on shopping trips, alone at 12 and living on my own in Bloomsbury, central London at 16. Your daughter should've been taught some life skills.

16!!!

But she’s 16 years old? I realise I’m an anomaly but l left home at 16, went to work, had my own place and had my first child at 17. 16 year old’s aren’t babies and frankly, if she’s uncomfortable talking to strangers on her own at that age she evidently needs more
exposure. It’s great for self esteem and confidence. Don’t cotton wool her, she needs to grow up at some point.

My 10 year old was navigating London transport on her own. I was living on my own and working full time at 16.

Why couldn’t your dd google maps her way home.

I think you might like to give your dd more freedom and push her to do more stuff on her own.

People take a gap year and travel around the world not much older than that