AIBU to be angry my sister left my 16-year-old alone?

[Rubexellen]

Evening all,
My DD is 16, she’s in Y11. A little while ago I mentioned to my sister a couple of the areas of work my DD is interested in potentially pursuing. My sister told me that her friend’s son and DIL who are mid-late 20s happened to be an immigration solicitor and a researcher at a think tank focusing on migration and refugees. This is something my DD is very much interested in so my sister agreed to set up a coffee with them and DD so DD could ask some questions.

This coffee took place today, it’s the school holidays so I was at work and the deal was, my sister would meet DD in London at the train station and take her to meet this young couple. We don’t live too far from London but DD has never been into London alone before, not even with friends (we are closer to Brighton so they tend to go there instead).

DD has just told me that my sister did meet her at the station and accompany her to the cafe but she didn’t stay, leaving my 16 year old DD alone with this couple effectively.
DD said they were lovely and they answered all her questions and she found it very useful but she felt a bit uncomfortable. Then when they were finished she realised she didn’t know how to get back to the station for her train home. She said she asked them just for directions and they offered to accompany her back to the station and waited with her until she was on the train.

Now I’m beyond angry, my sister never implied she would be leaving DD with them and if I had known that was her plan I’d have suggested DD not go as London is a massive city and these are strangers!

I want to have a harsh word with my sister and tell her that was totally inappropriate not just for DD, but probably for these young adults who were left with a teenager they don’t know!

AIBU to be furious?

@Monty36 is talking rubbish about London underground lines, including the Northern. I use it regularly at different times of the day and night, and it's fine, mostly because there are lots of people using it all minding their own business. The only place I've had my pocket picked was the Paris metro.

In OP's daughter's case, she was only travelling a few stops within central London during the daytime and going back to a railway terminus. All lines would be busy at that time and, provided she took normal precautions, would be perfectly safe.

When I was 16 I commuted to a college in central London every day for A levels, having previously led a somewhat sheltered life at boarding school. I really loved the freedom it gave me and I quickly learnt to take advantage of things like student discounts at theatres, meaning I was also travelling on my own late at night. It never bothered me at all and I'm glad to say it never occurred to my parents to stop me.

I've had a couple of incidents in London when I've tripped and fallen, both times passers-by instantly came to my aid, were incredibly kind and couldn't do enough to help.

I would walk past if people were already assisting and there was nothing I could usefully do to help. Best thing to do then is to get out of the way. The ill or injured person doesn't need a crowd standing around uselessly. I'd probably mention it to the first uniformed staff member I saw, if there wasn't already one there.

Yes, same here. I commuted pregnant on the Piccadilly Line and always got a seat even in the most crammed of rush hours, and later on always had help carrying a pushchair up stairs in tubes or Overgrounds.

When I was 16 I used to go alone on the train to stay with my cousin in London, she would meet me at the station but I always made my way back alone. This was pre Google maps and phones and learning to read the Tube map was a wonderful life skill. And to add to the horror, when I applied to college aged 17 I went to the interview in another big city all by myself, found my way to the building all by myself and came home all by myself. Very good for confidence building and life skills.

OP hasn’t been back

Exactly this. Given Google gives a little blue dot to direct you all the way home (and explicit instruction from wherever you are), I imagine they would have been perplexed and it’s a hard no to recommending for anything.

You make out as though your daughter is 6 and not 16 years old. She doesn't sound very independent or resourceful.

Do you do everything for her?

She needs a crash course in life and how to grow up

I've loved in London since 1980,safety wise it has improved if anything.

Given the DD’s potential career choice, having known people who work in this area. I think the dd has a lot of growing up to do before she embarks on a career in this field.

If she is struggling at 16 to get to a London station and doesn’t understand how to read a London Tube Map or how to put in a route on Google maps, how is she going to understand the world map and how people got from A to B and what routes they used.

The London Tube map is one of the easiest maps to read

@Lifeomars As I said earlier, not all teens are this bad. DDs used to go into London to see friends. They learn the ropes. Both of mine did a school exchange to South Africa for 3 months in Y9 - age 13. We didn’t go with them. Two DDs went each time but DD1 and friend had to navigate JBurg airport - to get from the international terminal to the domestic one - when they were not collected from the arrivals area as they should have been by SAA staff. They managed. Had they never experienced anything as individuals I have no idea how they would have coped. They did and spent 3 months without us. Other girls did similar in Australia and New Zealand. Some dc rise to a challenge.

My sister told me that her friend’s son and DIL who are mid-late 20s happened to be an immigration solicitor and a researcher at a think tank focusing on migration and refugees. This is something my DD is very much interested in

I think your daughter perhaps should reconsider her career choice.

My DS is 14 and has been getting around London by himself since he was 11.

i assume she’s only uncomfortable because she’s young, not because she didn’t know them.

i remember my first few times doing something like this, it’s all awkward and nerve wracking!