AIBU to be angry my sister left my 16-year-old alone?

[Rubexellen]

Evening all,
My DD is 16, she’s in Y11. A little while ago I mentioned to my sister a couple of the areas of work my DD is interested in potentially pursuing. My sister told me that her friend’s son and DIL who are mid-late 20s happened to be an immigration solicitor and a researcher at a think tank focusing on migration and refugees. This is something my DD is very much interested in so my sister agreed to set up a coffee with them and DD so DD could ask some questions.

This coffee took place today, it’s the school holidays so I was at work and the deal was, my sister would meet DD in London at the train station and take her to meet this young couple. We don’t live too far from London but DD has never been into London alone before, not even with friends (we are closer to Brighton so they tend to go there instead).

DD has just told me that my sister did meet her at the station and accompany her to the cafe but she didn’t stay, leaving my 16 year old DD alone with this couple effectively.
DD said they were lovely and they answered all her questions and she found it very useful but she felt a bit uncomfortable. Then when they were finished she realised she didn’t know how to get back to the station for her train home. She said she asked them just for directions and they offered to accompany her back to the station and waited with her until she was on the train.

Now I’m beyond angry, my sister never implied she would be leaving DD with them and if I had known that was her plan I’d have suggested DD not go as London is a massive city and these are strangers!

I want to have a harsh word with my sister and tell her that was totally inappropriate not just for DD, but probably for these young adults who were left with a teenager they don’t know!

AIBU to be furious?

I expect my 16yr old to be able to navigate cities. A drink in a cafe is extremely low risk too so I don’t see the problem.

I think maybe the OP would've like to have known so she perhaps could've run through it the night before given half a chance like you were able to with your 17 year old.. I just think the two sisters needed to have talked more first!

OP didn't say her child was particularly immature or hopeless though, so others' experience is a relevant benchmark.

London Bridge (like all London train stations) is full of clearly identifiable staff, plus tonnes of people working in the shops who would help a lost person, plus an information desk which is open all day. How can a competent English speaking person actually get (more than temporarily) lost there?

My children were definitely visiting London age 15/ 16 on their own .
I took grandchild there last week aged 6 . She was in charge and very confident.
Pointed out that Grandma was going in wrong direction at London Bridge to find underground!

She used her initiative and found her way so that’s good. OP should be proud of her, not angry at the sister whose actions helped her to foster a little independence

A 6 yo took charge? Very precocious.

I'm from a rural area originally and first started coming to London to visit family at about 14, armed only with an a-z.

Yabu.

Mine knew the way through central London stations at this age. One of my kids' first sentence was 'See it, say it, sorted'.

YABU. I have homes in London and Brighton. Brighton is a lot sketchier than central London. If she can keep herself safe in Brighton she should have found Central London a welcome respite.

Your sister went out of her way to help your daughter. She escorted her to the venue and made the introductions. She didn't need to stay there and hold her hand.

No that’s a figure of speech,she was just confident with following directions and reading the signs. Definitely not precocious,just enjoying working things out 🤷‍♀️

This is a bit pathetic when I was 16 I took flights on my own and the train to Scotland. I once missed a stop and I called my parents to ask what to do and we worked it out and passengers advised. This London, full of helpful staff in shops and cctv everywhere, presumably she has a smart phone - if she gets lost she can use Google Maps or ask staff or call you or your sister for help. Your sister didn’t leave her alone she left her with trusted friends. If you get angry at your sister she’ll never do you or your kids a favour again as long as she lives.

Bloody loved the A-Z and miss it. I’m one of those people who like to turn maps around the way you’re travelling. I had all the pages folded down for all the areas I needed.

Actually I remember on my first solo trip at 17 (1980!) for a University visit, my parents were a bit worried. We lived in a very rural area in the North. I will never forget my Dad's advice. He said, if you get lost or need help, ask someone in a uniform. It doesn't matter what the uniform is.

Bless!

She’s 16! Surely she can meet people in a public place without issues? And surely she can find her way to a station with google maps?

We live in London. So my child - 17 and 12 - move about London without me. Ok so I wouldn’t ask the 12 yo to find a new place without going over the route first, but he has done when transport has been cancelled.

My dd was going to Brighton with friends well before the age of 16 if you want to reverse it.

Apron strings!!

Never said she should be angry at her sister, I said the opposite.

Being walked to the train station with the people she had a meeting with because she didn't know how to get there, who then stayed with her until on the train wasn't much initiative?! She was pretty much babysat the whole way.

When my dd was a baby we somehow left her alone with an a -z for about 5 seconds (she was about 1, I think). She managed to eat some torn out sections of it and we kept finding bits of London in her nappy!

Shes survived fine to 17! 😂

I am guessing she came across as pretty childish if they felt the need not only to walk her to the station, but also to wait for her train with her. Plus her account of what the meeting was like. They sound like kind people but I imagine they were a bit peeved by having to look after a total stranger's child. Or at least I would be - maybe they're nicer than me!

If you mollycoddle your kids they don't know how to get to a train station independently.

Parenting has dropped to very low levels in the uk.
In other parts of the world kidsa are getting trains bus and walking to school way younger than 16.

Danger is all around us, we have to get on with it, raise kids the right way and street wise.

Bobbins.

another non returning OP. Now there's a shocker.

Absolutely! If my sister left my 16 month old with strangers, I would be “beyond angry” too!

Oh wait, 16 year old? YABU.

It’s not the bloody 1980s - I’m sure she has a smartphone and could have looked up directions to the train station. If she isn’t capable of that, why not?!

Your sister and her friends did you and your daughter a massive favour, and you ae "beyond furious" about it? That's just ridiculous. She had the sense to ask for directions, they helped her, nothing bad happened.

My children were dealing with public transport to get to school every day from age 11 onwards. I'm sure your daughter would have coped even without help.

My DS is 15 and in year 11.. won’t occur to me that I should stay if I offered similar to someone else’s DC. I think it was totally fine, and I can’t understand why you are outraged.

And tbf the vast majority of 12 year olds in London are capable of getting around on public transport to go to school or hobbies!

Any of the 16-years-olds I know would be mortified to have their Auntie sit in on what was meant to be a professional/grown up conversation!