AIBU to stop walks if my toddler refuses to walk?

[motherofakoalaboy]

So DS 23 months has been doing so well on his walks until recently. he went from being happy to walk for 80% of the walk before to now demanding DH pick him up after three steps. He wants to go out and brings his shoes to let us know but then refuses to actually walk. Like he will have an absolute melt down kicking and screaming. He was the same in the park. He won’t stop walking at home so i know his legs are not in pain or anything and his shoes are comfortable that is not the issue. we started to add an extra layer under his top thinking maybe he is cold but that has no helped either. DH thinks we need to basically set the boundary if he does not walk then no walk he is not going to be carried around but am trying to think if there is anything I can do to help the situation. I thought of going along with push chair or trike but that does not really help with the walk refusal. Would it help if i still went along to like break the pattern. Really struggling with what to do. DS can be very stubborn until he gets his way. It took us a full day of it’s this bottle or no milk when we had to change the bottles as he was biting through the baby ones

A full day....That's not a lot of time for a big change in a child's life

This sounds like typical toddlers behaviour IMO

I agree with your idea of taking a push chair or trike for him - what do you mean when you say that does not really help?

In that him being in the push chair is still not him walking. He is still essentially getting his way by not needing to walk

He’s less than two for goodness sake. Just take a pushchair with you. Expectations are very high for a two year old.

Why does he need to walk?

Surely taking the pushchair is the normal thing to do so he can walk or rest at his leisure?

Hes a toddler, take the pram/trike. You can always chop and change, ie put him in the trike going, see if he wants to walk around the park etc. I agree with the above poster, a day is nothing when changing from bottles that he'll have been using for months/over a year. Its a big change.

He’s so young OP, my 4 year old will still beg for a carry sometimes, at 23 months I think you are expecting a lot of him. Take the pushchair if you don’t want to carry him but I don’t really understand why you’re so insistent he should walk everywhere.

I think it’s pretty normal toddler behaviour, they’re learning to push boundaries a bit but there’s no point turning into a battle ground. I’d take the trike or pushchair and let them dip in and out of it - go past a park or somewhere interesting and coax them out of their pushchair to play or run about. The aim is to get fresh air and enjoy family time, rather than for them to walk?

I agree with pp your expectations are high for a child who's not even 2.

Bring the buggy and you walk to the park let him out when the playground is in sight and say race you to the swings.

Engaging a child in an activity at this age needs to be fun. Trying to force kids this age to do something they don't want to do is next to impossible.

It’s not much of a walk though if he is not actually doing the walking and he is capable of doing it because he used to. I would not ask anything of him that i know he could not do. We are trying to fix a bad habit he got into where he thinks DH will just carry him everywhere

It's really normal for a two year old to walk some of the time and jump in the push chair when he wants to.

My little boy is only 18 months but has been walking a long time now, if he doesnt want to walk i pick him up or pop him in his pram/trike. A few weeks ago he went through a stage of stopping after a few steps and clinging to my legs, I simply picked him up and carried or pushed him instead, hes back to happily walking now.

A bad habit?
Oh christ on a bike

Can I ask has anyone ever won a debate with a 2 year old? Anyone?

We tried carrying him to the park and play ground same thing he absolutely refuses to walk. If DH tries to put him down even if making it fun he will just stand there at the spot throwing a tantrum until he does finally get picked up

Exactly. Sounds so horrible for the child. Just put him in the pram fgs.

Have you never met a toddler before?

What’s the insistence that he walks? I think if you start seeing willfullness in everything, and insisting you get your own way (ie that he must walk on a walk), you’re setting yourself up for heartache down the line. He wants to go out (bringing you his shoes), so go out and enjoy time together, but give him the option of resting, watching the world go by or chasing ducks.

Put him the pushchair. I guarantee that within five minutes, he’ll be demanding to walk.

Also, are you sure his shoes are comfortable? You’re not wearing them, and he’s too little to know what comfortable shoes should feel like.

Your expectations of a child that is not yet 2 are too high. Yes he is capable of doing the walk but it doesn't mean that he will always want to. Just bring the buggy if you don't want to carry him and understand that he's not a robot that will do whatever you want him to do.

Hes a very little one year old boy, granted nearly two, but even so. He is still seeing things and exploring in the pram, even if he isnt actually walking, it is still stimulating him. If you push him there, maybe he'll want to play in the sand or run to the swings at the park, maybe you could take a ball and have a kick around too.

Why not take the pushchair and say to him if you walk to x (something he can see in the distance) you’ll let him ride in the pushchair the rest of the way? Start with something quite close (only say this once he starts refusing to walk) and each time make it a little further away. On the way home I’d just let him use the pushchair as he’s likely tired.

Just put him in the pushchair.

Why are you so determined to 'win'? It's distressing yoir baby horribly.

Your DH needs to read up on toddler development and normal toddler behaviour, it's quite worrying that he wants to come down hard on this. It looks like your DH wants to parent, my way or the highway, style, that is going to be really bad for your DS's development and self esteem. It's a phase and you have to go with them sometimes. It's more important to get him out, playing/climbing etc in parks, than him to walk a distance.

the problem we have right now is he will not even walk for half a minute. the park, the pavement on our street, the forest near us, he is just point blank refusing to even walk