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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop walks if my toddler refuses to walk?

202 replies

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 10:47

So DS 23 months has been doing so well on his walks until recently. he went from being happy to walk for 80% of the walk before to now demanding DH pick him up after three steps. He wants to go out and brings his shoes to let us know but then refuses to actually walk. Like he will have an absolute melt down kicking and screaming. He was the same in the park. He won’t stop walking at home so i know his legs are not in pain or anything and his shoes are comfortable that is not the issue. we started to add an extra layer under his top thinking maybe he is cold but that has no helped either. DH thinks we need to basically set the boundary if he does not walk then no walk he is not going to be carried around but am trying to think if there is anything I can do to help the situation. I thought of going along with push chair or trike but that does not really help with the walk refusal. Would it help if i still went along to like break the pattern. Really struggling with what to do. DS can be very stubborn until he gets his way. It took us a full day of it’s this bottle or no milk when we had to change the bottles as he was biting through the baby ones

OP posts:
canisquaeso · 08/04/2026 18:24

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 13:56

It seems from this post some people get the impression we are trying to force independence onto a baby. This is absolutely not the case me and DH are in a lucky position where we can afford to be at home all day. He is pretty much being carried and cuddled all day. This is not just parks and walks even soft play he will not get out of the koala mode if he feels it is too busy or he refuses to want to be at soft play. Last time two months ago he had such a melt down that we had to leave and DH stopped his food shop early to drive us home as DS was absolutely not having it. If DH is not there to carry him it has to be me. We really thought we made progress last month but it seems are back to square one

Maybe that’s the issue? He’s cuddled and carried all the time so it’s his norm now.

Only saying that because I know a 5 year old (I know it’s wildly different ages, I just mean it as an example of a cause) who will live on her parents lap 24/7 if she can because they’ve always allowed it. They never push back so it became her normal, I’ve never, ever seen it happen before and I always thought I was a clingy child myself.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 12/04/2026 08:28

What is it about the walking that you are so worried about? It sounds as if you might be creating arbitrary milestones in your head and now your toddler isn't hitting those milestones. Perhaps the fact that you are both at home 24/7 means you have become hyper-fixated on this. 🤷🏻

The most helpful words of wisdom I ever heard during the toddler years was: they won't still be doing this at 18.

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