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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop walks if my toddler refuses to walk?

202 replies

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 10:47

So DS 23 months has been doing so well on his walks until recently. he went from being happy to walk for 80% of the walk before to now demanding DH pick him up after three steps. He wants to go out and brings his shoes to let us know but then refuses to actually walk. Like he will have an absolute melt down kicking and screaming. He was the same in the park. He won’t stop walking at home so i know his legs are not in pain or anything and his shoes are comfortable that is not the issue. we started to add an extra layer under his top thinking maybe he is cold but that has no helped either. DH thinks we need to basically set the boundary if he does not walk then no walk he is not going to be carried around but am trying to think if there is anything I can do to help the situation. I thought of going along with push chair or trike but that does not really help with the walk refusal. Would it help if i still went along to like break the pattern. Really struggling with what to do. DS can be very stubborn until he gets his way. It took us a full day of it’s this bottle or no milk when we had to change the bottles as he was biting through the baby ones

OP posts:
Blorengia · 07/04/2026 12:29

Perhaps he just likes the big cuddles of being carried rather than walking. I'd take a buggy/pushchair so that he has the choice of walking or being pushed, but not being carryied.

BogRollBOGOF · 07/04/2026 12:30

My two were both 4 before they were reliable walkers without piggy backs/ slings/ pushchairs.

The now 15yo recently ran his first 10k race in 47 minutes. He doesn't seem to have been permanently damaged by taking 10 steps and having a tantrum before he turned 2.

It's not a battle worth fighting.

whattheysay · 07/04/2026 12:35

Good god just take the buggy and pick him up if he wants to be picked up. The child is not even two. Just stay indoors going out for a walk with the pair of you sounds horrible for the small boy.

Eclipser · 07/04/2026 12:42

I’d recommend looking into taking a course, or reading a book together on early child development. It could clear up many more of these misunderstandings in years to come.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 07/04/2026 12:43

He's a baby!

MrsSlocombesCat · 07/04/2026 12:47

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 11:00

the problem we have right now is he will not even walk for half a minute. the park, the pavement on our street, the forest near us, he is just point blank refusing to even walk

Why on earth does it matter? He's only a baby fgs. Most children his age are in prams still. Don't turn something into a battle that doesn't need to be.

Scarlettpixie · 07/04/2026 12:50

He is so little! Take the pushchair fgs!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/04/2026 12:52

@motherofakoalaboy - have you checked that his shoes fit properly? If they have become uncomfortable, that might explain his unwillingness to walk.

If his shoes are fine, then using a tricycle seems like the best idea - he will still be getting exercise, and won’t be being carried.

I also wonder about turning round and going home as soon as he starts tantrumming - very calmly say “Yes, daddy will carry you but we are going home, not to the park. If you want to go to the park, you need to walk or ride your tricycle.”

I remember so clearly how difficult it is to cope with the terrible twos - when my eldest was that age, I was in tears, on the phone to dh one morning, because ds1 had had a massive, hour long tantrum the night before and had already been screaming for nearly an hour, and it was barely nine am. While I was on the phone, the screaming stopped, so I hung up and went to find ds1 - he was standing by the kitchen bin, eating some left over tortilla chips we had thrown away the night before, and that was what had stopped his tantrum.

But that isn’t even the worst part - I looked at ds1 and I knew that, if I took away his delicious bin-snack, he would go straight into another tantrum, and I couldn’t face the prospect of more hours of screaming, so I let him carry on eating, until he’d had enough, and wandered off!!

I did then empty and hide the bin, so he couldn’t do it again, and he was completely fine - cast iron digestion - but it was not my finest parenting moment. He is now in his 30s, with three kids of his own, and we all survived the toddler tantrum years, so don’t worry - you will get through it too, I promise.

KeeleyJ · 07/04/2026 12:54

Poor kid having all that drama just going outside. Take a buggy and make the day pleasant not a battle.

Famholiday2026 · 07/04/2026 12:54

In the gentlest way possible OP I think you need a decent book on child development. You’re attributing things like manipulation to a tiny child who is only trying to get his needs met. His attachment and feeling safe are what matters most.

Travelodge · 07/04/2026 12:57

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 10:51

In that him being in the push chair is still not him walking. He is still essentially getting his way by not needing to walk

But why does he "need" to walk? He’s not even two and he’s walking at home, he doesn’t need the exercise! He’s still getting fresh air and seeing new sights.

You're being unrealistic. Take the buggy and you’ll soon find he’s demanding to get out and walk.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/04/2026 13:00

Gds was like this - an absolute PITA, demanding to be carried (shoulder rides) but that was actual walking. If he could run, he was fine, but it obviously wasn’t fine when we were on pavements beside busy roads.

He did grow out of it eventually, certainly by 4, and will now happily charge or walk everywhere, though he still prefers to run!

TBH I’d just put him in the pushchair for now. And if he doesn’t like it, tough. ‘If you won’t walk like a big boy, you have to go in the pushchair - you’re too heavy to carry now.’

One of my dds was walking at 12 months and from then on much preferred walking to the pushchair - dd2 was the opposite! Still wanted the pushchair at 3!

Grammarninja · 07/04/2026 13:00

They all go through this phase. It's not a bad habit that needs breaking. Getting him a doll's buggy to push and he might be more interested in walking...

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 07/04/2026 13:03

bigageap · 07/04/2026 10:53

Why does he need to walk?

Surely taking the pushchair is the normal thing to do so he can walk or rest at his leisure?

Exactly this. Why so adamant he needs to walk? Take the pushchair and let him get out and walk if and when he wants to? Then he can go back to the pushchair to rest when he feels a bit tired.

You are wasting energy fighting him and making him walk and creating unnecessary drama by forcing him to.

Soontobesingles · 07/04/2026 13:06

He’s one years old. That’s still a baby. You are making a huge fuss over nothing and it is pointless. This is not the hill to die on. Take a pram and tell him you walk or go in the pram but daddy won’t carry you and stick to that. But honestly he is a small child who wants the comfort of being in his dad’s arms, I don’t understand what you think you will achieve by making him walk everywhere.

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 13:09

For all the people saying to use a push chair or trike I already said we will try and see if that helps the situation.

OP posts:
HotGazpacho · 07/04/2026 13:10

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 13:09

For all the people saying to use a push chair or trike I already said we will try and see if that helps the situation.

Can I ask why you’re so adamant that he has to walk?

angelikacpickles · 07/04/2026 13:12

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 13:09

For all the people saying to use a push chair or trike I already said we will try and see if that helps the situation.

You haven't really explained though why you expect your one year old to walk everywhere though. What has given you the idea that this is a reasonable expectation of a baby?

Claudiasfringebenefits · 07/04/2026 13:17

He's not going to be carried long term. I would just take the pushchair for now and go back to walking when he seems a bit more willing. Otherwise you are carrying/ arguing with him or not going out, at least he is still used to getting out of the house.

BeastAngelMadwoman · 07/04/2026 13:21

I have a child the same age and always take the pram out with us. I wouldn’t dream of going for any kind of decent walk without it really. DC starts off in pram, gets out to walk, goes back in when tired or they kick off about something. I don’t see the problem

BudgetBuster · 07/04/2026 13:22

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 13:09

For all the people saying to use a push chair or trike I already said we will try and see if that helps the situation.

It sort of feels like you've said that to shut people up though rather than explaining why you originally felt the need for your toddler to act NOT like a toddler.

The idea of punishing the child for not walking is insane. If he didn't finish all his dinner, would you threaten to not feed him again?

Rounder888 · 07/04/2026 13:22

My 2 year old loves me carrying her on walks still, she’d happily do so for the whole walk. I just think that in a few years she won’t want me near her so enjoy it for now. Maybe a toddler back carrier for now? We use one on longer/steep walks and she loves it as feels similar to being on dads shoulders

MajorProcrastination · 07/04/2026 13:23

Has something worried him at the park? Like a dog or falling in a puddle?

At that age I'd be walking our dogs daily so my youngest would be in his pushchair for a lot of the walk as we'd go further than he could manage anyway. He'd get out to play in the playground with siblings or when he wanted to waddle along but the aim of the walk wasn't for him to walk the whole thing.

At that age he was also a big fan of his push along trike. He'd peddle or if he was tired out I'd push and he'd get out to walk or run when we had a ball or a kite with us or when he went in the playground.

Are you worried that he's not walking enough? Or is it just a change in behaviour that's concerning you?

marcopront · 07/04/2026 13:23

motherofakoalaboy · 07/04/2026 13:09

For all the people saying to use a push chair or trike I already said we will try and see if that helps the situation.

What about all the questions about how you are sure his shoes are not the problem?

Trusttheawesome · 07/04/2026 13:25

BudgetBuster · 07/04/2026 13:22

It sort of feels like you've said that to shut people up though rather than explaining why you originally felt the need for your toddler to act NOT like a toddler.

The idea of punishing the child for not walking is insane. If he didn't finish all his dinner, would you threaten to not feed him again?

Careful not to give her ideas. They sound like they are setting out to be very strict parents.

Children absolutely need boundaries and strictness at the right times. OP and her husband don’t seem to understand appropriate boundaries or “right times” even calling a toddler trying to explain his needs a “bad habit.” It is worrying.