AIBU to stop walks if my toddler refuses to walk?

[motherofakoalaboy]

So DS 23 months has been doing so well on his walks until recently. he went from being happy to walk for 80% of the walk before to now demanding DH pick him up after three steps. He wants to go out and brings his shoes to let us know but then refuses to actually walk. Like he will have an absolute melt down kicking and screaming. He was the same in the park. He won’t stop walking at home so i know his legs are not in pain or anything and his shoes are comfortable that is not the issue. we started to add an extra layer under his top thinking maybe he is cold but that has no helped either. DH thinks we need to basically set the boundary if he does not walk then no walk he is not going to be carried around but am trying to think if there is anything I can do to help the situation. I thought of going along with push chair or trike but that does not really help with the walk refusal. Would it help if i still went along to like break the pattern. Really struggling with what to do. DS can be very stubborn until he gets his way. It took us a full day of it’s this bottle or no milk when we had to change the bottles as he was biting through the baby ones

I’m not sure why you’ve posted as you don’t seem to be taking in anything being said to you. You clearly don’t want to be told that you and your husband have got this wrong.

He's not even 2 years old yet, just take the push chair with you. That's pretty normal ime

You are wasting your energy on this OP. He’s 2 years old. Put him in the pram and go about your day. He’s not going to be in the pram forever because he fancies it. It’s just a phase

Take his pushchair OP. He'll soon let you know if he wants out to walk. Don't make him grow up before he's ready.

When my 2 were that age, I didn't go anywhere without a pushcair for my own sanity as it would invariably end in tears.

As a non driver, I think that they were 3+ before I braved going out without their pushchair. Even if they didn't use it, it was useful for shopping.

My DGS is just over 2 and they chose their battles about walking. Dog walks he takes his balance bike as they stay local, town his pram is available if he wants it, out with his cousin he walks holding his big cousins hand, out with Nanny, he rides on her mobility scooter if he gets tired.

I hear your frustration OP. My son is 2.5 and much prefers to be carried than walk anywhere even though he has done so many times and says he wants to.

I'm 7mths pregnant so my assumption is that he wants and needs the extra closeness, sensing that his sibling is going to be around soon. Has anything big changed for your son recently or is it about to that might be making him more clingy?

My solution is to assess how important it is that he walk. Sometimes he needs to. Maybe he refused to bring the buggy and now my arms are full of shopping. He has to walk no matter how much crying their is and how long it takes to get him home. If we're under time pressure then he simply has to go in the buggy because there can be no messing about.

Usually I'm happy to carry him. Being given an extra cuddle here and there isn't going to prevent him developing into a functioning adult.

Where are you going that's it's so imperative that your 1yr old must walk? Are you misreading him communication? Maybe bringing you his shoes doesn't mean "I want to go for a walk" but rather "I want to spend time with Daddy"?

Your expectations of a wee boy not even 2 are far too much.

OP, this is not a hill to die on. There is no issue with taking him in the buggy to the park and letting him run around once he’s there. Mine are almost 3 and 4 and I still take the buggy (with buggy board) to any decent walks or days out. It’s just a phase, relax and don’t push the issue.

Thank you for all the feedback. It is appreciated. We will try the trike or push chair and let him know that the options are that or walk but no koala boy after just 30 seconds of walking. DH does play and cuddle with him plenty at home so please don’t think this is some touch starved toddler scenario. He gets a lot of cuddles at home during the day, when he first wakes up and two hours in bed as he goes to sleep too

My 9 year old would still happily be carried if I was able to 🤣

eta this is the same 9 year old who didn’t walk until 22 months so he was definitely still regularly using a buggy until 3.

This is absolutely insane 😂

How do you know his shoes are comfortable?

He is walking around all day at home so it’s not like he needs these walks for exercise. Going on a walk with a baby with no pushchair is expecting too much I think, he’s still learning and he’s so small. Most kids of that age are in and out the buggy all day. Just make it clear that it’s walk or pushchair, no picking up, and endure the tantrums until he learns

@motherofakoalaboy
This thread is wild...
What is wrong with you?
You sound so harsh(?!) with regards to your child who is little more than a baby
.. do you do much of the day to day care of your son? Do you have lots of nannies or something? Its like you and or dh dont spend anything time around children...

If not, and you do provide primary care, I dont understand why you dont understand
A. Toddlers are not logical
B. It's got zero to do with "being tired"

Staying at home as a "punishment" is ridiculous he has no real concept of the world and his behaviour wont be rational.

So again I would use the pushchair
Things that helped
Make walking a game- can you stamp, roar like a dinosaur/elephant/penguin (any other animal you can think off)
We do a game called jump, hop, run stop (mainly because I wanted to be sure that she would absolutely stop when I said)- we call out an instruction and we all get involved- as she started to run further away when bigger we now use a whistle in the park!!!
Basically made every walk into a game (and yes she is 5 and often still wants to play walking games)....
But ultimately you can't make a toddler walk if they don't want to

Your son obviously gains something that he enjoys from being carried (cuddles, closeness, better views, etc) and cannot express it any way other than showing you his shoes. Maybe listen to what he is communicating to you both and you will all be happier.
And take the buggy (or a sling) so he has choices too.
He will grow up so quickly and you will both miss his need to be so close and cuddly with you. Enjoy all the koala moments you can get

Are you genuinely sure his shoes or socks aren’t hurting him?
also he’s a toddler, he has no rationale brain. The whole point is to get them ou the house, a walk in a pram is still good for them

Have you tried him on a toddler scooter or balance bike rather than walking or pushchair or trike.

but yes sounds like normal toddler behaviour.

A bad habit?

They go through developmental leaps where suddenly they suddenly notice things and become more clingy. Being carried at 1 is perfectly normal. The more you refuse the more unsafe he feels. He’s not being wilful! He’s 1!

I won an argument with a cat once. A 2 year old? Never!

He’s not even 2 yet!!

Your expectations of a not even 2 year old are quite frankly absurd. Just take the pushchair, he's probably tired or bored of walking. Either way you can't just stop taking him for walks. Is this real?

For the record, sometimes my 6 year old get tired legs and asks to sit on her dad’s shoulders…

they're kids! And yours isn’t even 2 yet. Next I’ll be reading that he is manipulating the situation to be carried FGS!

A 2 year old’s legs will get tired and they will ask to be carried! Putting a toddler in a pushchair is not “him getting his own way” it’s allowing you to still go on family walks where he can choose to walk along with you or go in his pram/on a trike or whatever!
or go on shorter walks! Or even say, why don’t we skip this part, look for things to distract him if it really is after 3 steps!

Sensible plan. If the boundary is to not insist on being carried all the time, which is reasonable for a 2 year old who must be quite heavy, you've more chance of enforcing it with the trike/buggy. It's a middle ground.

He’s not even three, there’s too much pressure on him to walk full time when out. Just keep taking the push chair or trike and if he doesn’t want to walk it’s not the end of the world, he’s still benefiting from being outside.