AIBU to consider a date with a man who is sectioned under the MH act

[babypickles]

Am I being unreasonable to arrange a date with a guy who is currently sectioned in a mental health facility?

I first met him at a support group and I joined a group WhatsApp. We have been talking for a few months on WhatsApp now (privately) and he is so warm, open and supportive we really get on like a house on fire.

He recently told me he had feelings and would love the opportunity to date me. I wouldn’t say he’s my type in terms of physical appearance but his persona is appealing to me. He is very emotionally available.

Am I being delusional ?

They were not. The MHA does not cover this. Covid didn’t mean that medics were running around breaking the law whenever they liked to forcibly administer vaccines. Maybe leave the conspiracy theory websites alone for a bit.

find it really sad that you’d rather be with someone that detracts from your life (accepting the kids point is personal and you may not see it that way) than be alone.

Nowhere have I said this. I prefer to think of it as accepting that we are all human and we all have our faults and issues. I’m with someone who enhances my life and accepts my many faults and foibles, just as I accept his. Nobody is perfect.

I’ve never looked at a conspiracy website in my life.

I did however work in a hospital during Covid and if you’re suggesting that the law wasn’t broken, you’re naive at best.
The law was being made up as it went aLong. Do you not remember Easter eggs being confiscated outside of tesco’s by the police?

But why would you actively pursue someone that is going to bring a lot of baggage to your life? I love my DH and would stay with him if he was sectioned now, but I wouldn’t have got to the place of falling in love with him and building a life with him if that was to be a feature of our lives from the outset, and I’m not sure why anyone would.

No.

Some people are just rude.

I'm not
But being sectioned is crisis management.

Don’t worry I’m not planning on busting into the ward and setting up an orgie with the inpatients.

I didn’t suggest that you were. Just that it would be difficult to have anything more than friendship with him until he is out of hospital anyway.

Some people don't want to be honest with themselves. It's got nothing to do with rudeness.

Yeah sorry I was joking.

I’ve said a few times that I’m going to talk to him and remain as friends.

So you don’t think that there are comments made in this thread (or in general actually) that are rude ? Calling me loopy. Suggesting I’m some kind of “nut job” stalking mental facilities for a vulnerable partner. Calling me desperate, an unfit parent etc etc etc.

I used to be a mental health nurse nobody wants to force medication unless its absolutely necessary its distressing for everyone
I really cant imagine the covid vaccine being forced it woukd be illegal anyway.

Confiscating Easter eggs outside Tesco is a very long way from violating patients’ rights by forcibly administering a vaccine without consent, using a law that was never designed for that purpose.

Just RTFT, Op you have children and I’m assuming some challenges yourself as you mention meeting him via a support group.
You really aren’t making good choices at all, your priority should be your own health and the welfare of your children.
Bringing a man who has been sectioned into your lives is not a good choice, leave him to get himself better and be clear you only see him as a friend.
Stay single and prioritise your family.

I don't think anyone actually said that. I think you have totally taken something the wrong way and have massively overreacted in a way that makes me seriously raise my eyebrows.

Read the thread. They have said that.

if you bother to read my responses you will also see that I’m not a person who “overreacts”. I’ve taken many comments on board and stated on at least 5 separate occasions that I will only be pursuing anything on a “friends” only basis.

Unfortunately OP this is AIBU - it tends to be brutal and you get a fair amount of posters whose sole purpose is to come and insult the OP in any way they see fit. The ignorance towards mental health problems at play on the thread, as well as the inappropriate name calling has been shameful. Clearly the push to de-stigmatise mental health issues isn’t working is it ? You might be better asking MN to move the thread to the mental health boards or maybe copy it there.

Thank you. I understand people are always this way on forums. Meh whatever they can say what they like I suppose 🤷‍♀️

Yes they did. Read the thread. A poster told OP she was as ‘Loopy’ as her friend and when called out, tried to justify it by saying they apply the word to their own mental health problems. Nut job was also mentioned, some posters implying that her friend is a ‘lesser’ person because of their mental health, and it’s also been asked several times whether or not the OP is a parent. One poster said OP should put her children first, without even knowing why her friend had been sectioned - the risk to her children was assumed. Put that together with the inability of many posters to understand the distinction between consent and capacity and it’s fairly shocking IMO.

Sadly it isn’t.

OK we’ll have to agree to disagree.

She has also been accused of preying on a vulnerable man who can't possibly be able to "consent to a relationship"... which just shows a shocking lack of awareness about MH issues and what being detained under them entails.

She has said he does not have a diagnosis, but had a breakdown.... but people have assumed he has life long MH problems and will be in and out of hospital for the rest of his life, and destroy her life in the process.
Some people only ever have one episode of MH so bad they end up in hospital, and they go on to live their life unaffected by it.

A PP likened her to an abusive ex.

I also took umbrage at the "loopy" comment. The PP was using it in a derogatory way to insult the OP, not looking back at "funny" moments that their bipolar relative had.

I have been sectioned many times. I have been out on leave and been stood next to you in a shop, or having a tea in a cafe... and you would have never have known. I am wondering if someone will post next and ask how he can use Whatsapp if he has a straightjacket on.

I was going to say exactly the same.

Doesn’t the fact you have kids make this an open and shut case? A big fat and unequivocal and unwavering…. F* no.

You can't assume he cannot consent to a relationship just because he is detained under the mental health act.

OP I'd probably do what others have suggested and continue with your friendship for now, at least.