Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

[Rachhh9]

NC’d for this.

Ahhhhh I’m really feeling anxious atm. My own fault I know. I had a drunken kiss/grope with a colleague on a work night out on Friday. Woke up the next morning feeling regret but thinking I’d just forget about it. Now I can’t help feeling so much guilt and that I should tell my long term DP.

Do you think if I just try really hard to forget about it, or fess up? And be clear it meant nothing and I had far too much to drink.

Would you want to know if your DP had a grope and a kiss with a colleague?

No

Yes you should tell him because he deserves to know and if he finds out from someone else it will be a lot worse. But if I was him I would dump you.

Say nothing. Try to forget it. Don't do it again.

He won’t find out from anyone else, our other colleagues had left by that point.

Unless he is likely to find out, I’d jut shut up. Put it behind you - and don’t get drunk. 😉

Don't tell him, it'll just hurt him - carry that guilt and remorse yourself as your punishment. And re-evaluate your drinking.

I say tell him purely because I would absolutely want to know if my husband did this. I don’t think it’s fair to withhold information from someone that would potentially make them end a relationship.

What do you think his response would be?
Do you want to stay in your relationship or pursue something with the colleague?
Are you feeling that the guilt will be assuaged if you tell him?

If you’re prepared to sacrifice your relationship to make you feel less guilty, then tell him. If it really was a one off drunken incident and you care about him and want to stay with him, don’t. You might feel less guilty, but you’ll have made him feel bad. Keep the guilt to yourself and vow not to do it again.

If you had slept together then absolutely yes, you should tell him but for a drunken kiss? no, I wouldn't tell.

In my opinion this is one of those small things that could ruin your relationship forever and its not something you are likely to repeat if you are feeling this upset about it.

I've been with my dh for 26 years and despite many drunken nights out with male colleagues I've ever accidentally cheated. You need to have a really log think about why you did this before blowing up your relationship. Yes your parter deserves honestly but that is likely be the beginning of the end. Is that what you want?

So you want to make yourself feel better by offloading onto him.
Don't bother. Don't get drunk when out though without your partner.

You should definitely tell him, but be prepared that the relationship is probably over or at least will never be the same again

If there’s absolutely no way of him finding out down the line then I wouldn’t. It isn’t worth fucking a marriage up over a drunken kiss, just obviously don’t repeat it!

I don't think you care much about the relationship, or it wouldn't have happened

Jesus. Of course you need to tell him. He needs to know his long-term partner's cheating on him.

If you don't tell him, this will eat you up.

Flip it round, if he did it to a colleague would you want to know?

Yes, he should be told

It may be a good idea to look at your drinking too, OP, if you're losing control to this extent.

So many hypocrites when the shoes on the other foot.

Sure. Dont tell him. Enjoy living with the guilt.

I think you need to think about why this happened too, I have been in some horrific states when I drank but never snogged anyone else.

This is the third post in as many days with posters doing something with someone who's not their partner.

Go right on ahead if you want to cause a fight (at best) or your life to implode (at worst). Seriously, what good do you think it'd do.

It was a kiss, not sex. Just get on with life. No one is injured, no-one is dead. 🙄

No, don't tell him, it's not fair on him. Learn from it & either leave him or resolve not to be such an idiot again!

This.

If your DP kissed a female colleague would you want him to tell you or keep it secret?

I don't care whose foot the shoe is on.

if it's a one off stupid thing then burdening the partner with it helps no one, the idiot needs to learn from it & make some decisions to either leave or not put themselves in that position again.