Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

[Rachhh9]

NC’d for this.

Ahhhhh I’m really feeling anxious atm. My own fault I know. I had a drunken kiss/grope with a colleague on a work night out on Friday. Woke up the next morning feeling regret but thinking I’d just forget about it. Now I can’t help feeling so much guilt and that I should tell my long term DP.

Do you think if I just try really hard to forget about it, or fess up? And be clear it meant nothing and I had far too much to drink.

So you would be happy with your fella doing the same?
touched him over his jeans?? Assume it wasn’t the behind?

Eww just noticed you’re male. Are you looking for tank material?

She should live with the guilt- it’s a lesson learned.

I have no idea what tank material is but….

what differs does it make that I’m male?

you have posted you have cheated on your partner, that’s plain wrong. Think many women agree but you chose my post to reply cause I’m a man?
hmmmm

I think if you looked at the polls they would show very things. A man asking would be ripped to shreds with the polls representing that whereas this one shows a nbu which is disgustingly really

You groped another man over his jeans and think you don't need to tell your long term partner when you work with this man.

Ewwww is you.

OP's partner should get to decide if he wants to continue a relationship. It isn't about OP, it's about giving her partner the choice and not taking that away from him and deciding he doesn't get to know.

This. What’s the long story. Do you really want a boyfriend 🤷‍♀️

That’s not hugging, OP. I’m assuming you mean his crotch iver the jeans and he was touching your bottom. Thats groping.
as others have said there’s massive double standards on MN regarding this. But we’re not you. Only you know what you want to do moving forwards.

No

@narnia2025 I'm asking how you know its the same posters though?
Only 50 people have said this OP is NOT unreasonable. 50 people out of a site with 8 million monthly users. What are the odds that tiny percentage of people are the same posters who would be ripping a man to shreds?
Some posters go hard on this type of behaviour some people go easy. There is zero evidence to say its the same people operating different standards based on the posters sex, and that women get better treatment from the same people. It's a big old myth which is not remotely supported by the tiny percentage of users who voted in this poll.

For the record, I voted YABU not because you’d be unreasonable to tell him but because you’ve behaved appallingly and kissing a colleague is very unreasonable. Would imagine a few others did the same.

Tell your DP and allow him to leave if he wants to because he deserves agency and choice in his relationship not wasting his life with a liar if he would’ve left knowing the truth.

Eww yourself. You’re in no position to lecture on sexual morals

You don’t think people who are in love ever get drunk and kiss other people?

No, of course not! People who are in relationships they don't really want to be in get drunk and kiss other people

Shhhh this never happened

Hang on …. You do ??

or is it you have?

We just have a completely different view on reality then I guess. People are human, they make mistakes. Loving someone doesn’t mean that will never happen.

I haven’t myself, but I’m aware it’s a thing that happens. Love isn’t some kind of magic shield. People make mistakes.

You sound lovely...

They aren't tripping up and landing with their tongue in someone's mouth ..they have agency
I am surprised how few people seem to have self respect or self control

You feel this way for a reason. You love and respect him and know he deserves the chance to make an informed decision on whether to continue the relationship.

Personally I think I could overcome an instance of infidelity if there was a confession soon after. Much easier to believe there's true remorse rather than simply regretting it was found out

It’s a shitty thing to do. People do shitty things sometimes though. I’m saying it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her partner, and if she has now realised what a mistake it was and will never do it again then I’d question whether it’s worth ruining the relationship over. I would not want to know in that situation (drunken snog, will never happen again).

But i don't think she actually HAS realised it was a mistake.
She has said that of she was out with work again she would need to be careful around this particular colleague... which hints to me she really fancies him. She's also compared his physique and talked him up compared to her partner.
She didn't just have a quick peck or s little snog. They were getting handsy too.

She clearly has zero respect for her partner.

This is why I think she needs to tell him