Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

[Rachhh9]

NC’d for this.

Ahhhhh I’m really feeling anxious atm. My own fault I know. I had a drunken kiss/grope with a colleague on a work night out on Friday. Woke up the next morning feeling regret but thinking I’d just forget about it. Now I can’t help feeling so much guilt and that I should tell my long term DP.

Do you think if I just try really hard to forget about it, or fess up? And be clear it meant nothing and I had far too much to drink.

He’s younger than you. Wondering if 1) he can keep his mouth shut 2) was a dare his friends

a drunken kiss is bad. A drunken grope is bad

@dadtoateen made a good point. How would you feel @Rachhh9if your partner did the same. Rubbed a much younger girl between her legs. Fondled her boobs etc

you didn’t answer how long you have been together ?

From your updates OP, I think you do need to have a word with yourself. Because doing that not only when you have a partner, but with a young colleague is beyond daft if you value your relationship and professional integrity.
If you want to get drunk and get off with young guys, I'm sure there would be plenty willing to oblige you. But that's a thing for when you're single and out with your friends not when attached and on a works do.
You can't have everything in life all at the same time. So you need to decide if you want to be in a committed relationship or if you still want to play around.

Oohhhh, work ‘dos’ are such a mine field, OP.

We still talk about work parties from over 13 years back, and ‘what went on’
You are lucky that nobody saw you or put 2+2 together that you were last to leave.

On a side note, can I ask - the way you described him came over like you think he’s gorgeous, you gave him much more description than you did your DH…
am I right in thinking you weren’t sorry about this happening if you were 100% truthful with yourself?

If you, maybe you need to do some serious thinking about your relationship with your DH.

You should absolutely tell him, so he can make an informed decision about whether he wants to stay in a relationship with someone who cheats.

You sound incredibly blasé about it all.

This.

And also how can you get so drunk you kiss someone? It’s one thing to flirt with them but a proper kiss is totally another thing.

A proper kiss and groping / touching him through his jeans 🤮
I just couldn't imagine being in that drunken state... but yet vividly remembering it

I think you should be honest here, OP. I have always suspected that something went on between my ex and former best friend. Neither admitted anything but I've always wondered.

I imagine he will pick up on the fact you are hiding something, if you choose to stay quiet.

What is wrong with you?? Drunk or not, you know you have a partner. You don't just forget. You made a choice to cheat. Now you live with the consequences of whether he wants to stay with you. You must tell him.

You made your choice, now let him make his.

To be “that drunk” that you accidentally kiss someone (whilst in a settled relationship) you’d surely have to be at the “I feel sick, dizzy, wobbly, can’t think properly or speak any sense” stage, or if you’re me, vomiting everywhere, then crying!
To be kissing someone who’s not my DP/DH would be a real no-no, as I wouldn’t be capable.

Say nothing. Your conscience is your punishment. Next time you go out socially stick to soft drinks.

This.

Worse interactions ok - obviously worse interactions are very different (worse) to what we’re discussing here

I meant far less. I need to stop using Mumsnet when my brain fog is bad

Ah sorry @narnia2025
But really, “far less” than a kiss & grope being LTB territory? “Far less” would be not much.
Just to confirm, I think such behaviour is very problematic indeed, by both men and women! I just think LTB would need more context, more background of bad behaviour. But maybe youre right, maybe this should be a LTB moment for OP’s DP. I don’t know! I don’t know what I would ultimately feel if I was OP’s DP.

All you’ll be doing is alleviating your own guilt and putting misery on to him. Don’t tell him and put this down as a silly stupid mistake. Don’t do it again. If you do then you will have to do the right thing and let him go so he can find someone who’ll show him more respect