Take 3 month old baby to family wedding or leave with MIL?

[Helpboat]

Some advice on this.

I have close relatives wedding in a few weeks and also a 3 month old baby.

Culturally it’s looked down if children aren’t present at weddings. It’s also an opportunity to meet family you don’t regularly see and there are the great grandparents who will be pretty disappointed if I don’t take the baby.

My MIL is in town and she’s very very good with the baby. Follows our schedule to the T and baby is in safe and secure hands with her. She’s insisting to leave baby with her.

Wedding is 3 hours away and will be an all day event. 1pm till 10.

If I take the baby, will have to take all his equipment for bottles plus carrycot pushchair etc but family will be happy. I am not even sure where to sterilise his equipment as he needs feeding every 3 hoursish.

if I don’t we will have a much more relaxing time but family will probably openly express dissatisfaction. What do you think?

Personally I can’t leave a baby that small
(I’ve had 3) but appreciate everyone is different. If you want to, go for it

Oh I would (and did) enjoy a baby free day!

I wouldn’t have been able to leave my baby and be so far away at that age, but if you feel comfortable with it then why not? Babies at that age are easy to transport though so you can’t go wrong either way

I couldn’t have left mine for that long at that age.

I would take baby.

Is 1-10 the wedding or the full amount of time you'll be away from the baby? If the wedding is 3 hours away is it 15 hours total?

What would you prefer to do? That’s the only thing that matters not disappointing relatives.
I would have really struggled to leave DS (still do and he’s two!!) but it’s great you have a MIL you feel comfortable leaving him with and if you feel ready they go, enjoy the break knowing your little one is in safe hands

I could not have left my three month old.

Say baby was ill

Can I ask why? Albeit it’s not the exact premise of the question but what is the reason you wouldn’t?

A lot of people are saying they wouldn’t leave their 3 month old?? I understand with strangers perhaps not or even paid babysitter but what about your own mother or mother in law?

Yeah pretty much. It’s the ceremony first and then the reception later. We will be back quite late.

If you take several sterilised bottles you wouldn’t need to sterilise anything once you’re there, you just need freshly boiled water?

tbh it just sounds like you just don’t want to bring the baby, which is fine, but the rest of to is just making a lot of fuss. If you wanted to take the baby then you would and it wouldn’t be a big issue to prep baby’s stuff in advance.

It’s just natural to not want to be away from your baby for so long! Especially 3 hours away for a full day. It’s fine if you don’t feel that way but it’s totally normal to not want to leave a baby for a day so far away at that age. Many of us don’t even like doing that when the kids are a couple of years old.

For about three or four hours for a local night out, sure. Not fifteen hours spent three hours away from baby.

This will probably be the easiest wedding you go to with children for a long time, so yes a good time for it.

If you fancy a break, it's fine to leave baby (I left my first overnight by this stage) if you prefer, but it should be fine to take baby. Your choice really.

No- I just wouldn’t want to (mother or MIL- husband only). Same way some people won’t understand the cultural expectations you mentioned.

Yes I suppose not everyone has a supportive and reliable network outside of their partners.

It’s a personal decision to make. I wouldn’t have left either of my babies at that age but then both of mine have been breastfed so I couldn’t have left them for that amount of time, if you are comfortable with leaving the baby then that’s totally fine and up to you.

For what its worth it probably would be much easier to leave the baby with MIL so if you are happy to do that then do that.

And many of us do - but still wouldn’t want to leave the baby for 15 hours.

Yes but why? Is it because you have no one you can genuinely trust (that’s not my issue) or is it just psychological.

I couldn't have. BFing. So it seems normal not to. And tiny babies do just want their primary caregiver.

But that's not to say you can't. It just wouldn't be enjoyable to me.

It will be hard to take the baby; travelling, organising changes, naps and feeds whilst there.
It is also a long time to leave baby if you go without.
However both are fine though if that's what you want to do.
I wouldn't have wanted to do either so probably would have sent my apologies and not gone.

I have three children. My youngest was 3 months when my sister got married and my MIL minded him. My two DDs were 3 and 4. I never left my two girls with anyone but DS was such a chill and easy baby that I allowed MIL to mind him. She had him overnight, we then collected him the next morning and brought him to the more relaxed second day of the wedding weekend. The venue was only a 30 minute drive from MIL.

It also gave me the chance to fully engage with my DDs who were very excited about "the big party". I might add that was the first and only time I left DS but I don't regret it.

I went on a daytime hen do when my youngest was 3 months, I only went because it was local, and it was only a few hours. I left baby with their father. I wouldn’t have ever left the baby with anyone else that wasn’t my partner at such a young age and a few hours in I was really desperate to get back to them. Do ypu
have a good bond with the baby as I don’t actually know anyone in real life that would want to be away from such a young baby for very long at al, certainly not that distance away.