Take 3 month old baby to family wedding or leave with MIL?

[Helpboat]

Some advice on this.

I have close relatives wedding in a few weeks and also a 3 month old baby.

Culturally it’s looked down if children aren’t present at weddings. It’s also an opportunity to meet family you don’t regularly see and there are the great grandparents who will be pretty disappointed if I don’t take the baby.

My MIL is in town and she’s very very good with the baby. Follows our schedule to the T and baby is in safe and secure hands with her. She’s insisting to leave baby with her.

Wedding is 3 hours away and will be an all day event. 1pm till 10.

If I take the baby, will have to take all his equipment for bottles plus carrycot pushchair etc but family will be happy. I am not even sure where to sterilise his equipment as he needs feeding every 3 hoursish.

if I don’t we will have a much more relaxing time but family will probably openly express dissatisfaction. What do you think?

So he’s an easy baby compared to my first. First had reflux and didn’t sleep for two years an neither did we.

So she sees plenty of the baby then. I’d take the baby and let the other family members see them who I assume, as the wedding is three hours away, don’t see baby very often (if at all).

I couldn’t leave mine but they demand fed and didn’t do bottles. I went to two weddings when each of them were tiny and never lacked people wanting a cuddle

Yep this is the issue. Life is short and there’s a lot of family we don’t see often. Few greats and and lots of grands that’s why I’m wavering and thinking to take him.

I'd take the baby to a family wedding (Not because I wouldn't leave a 3 month old I
absolutely would for a friends wedding)

I would, baby will be fine. I left my son with my mother at 6 weeks. He was safe and content.

I don't know what way you want the votes to mean, but I'd take the baby. I wouldn't be comfortable being away from my young baby for that long.

I can only conclude that OP is one of those strange individuals who cant or won’t see things from other’s point of view. Hope your child/children grow up to be a bit more broad in their thinking. Enjoy the wedding!

Go to the wedding without your baby and enjoy yourself. Tell family they’ll see the baby at another time.

I could and did leave left mine for a day at that age. It didn't mean I didn't love them. People are weirdly judgy. If you feel happy, do it.

I left DS at that age, although he wasn't BF. I had a great bond with my son, but it wasn't practical to take him with me and he was in good hands with my mum and dad, sister and BIL. Some people find being away from their baby difficult, but that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with those of us who were able to leave them. In your shoes, under the circumstances, I would leave him with MIL.

It is not strange to ask questions that’s exactly how you understand other’s views. Not sure why you feel the need to make personal digs but then that says more about you than me.

I'm surprised you're confused at why so many people wouldn't leave their three month old for so long. For me it's nothing to do with not having a support network (my mum is great), I just wouldn't have wanted to be away from them for more than a couple of hours at that age... they still felt like part of me when they were so small and it felt like a biological need to keep them close.

That said, you should do whatever you feel is best for you and your baby. This isn't your MIL or family's decision to make.

Go and enjoy yourself. I have a 5 year old and a 4 month old and both have stayed overnight with ILs and parents since one month old. My 5 year old now absolutely adores all of the family on both sides and is not traumatised.

Are you for real?
You're not sure why people don't want to leave their tiny babies with other people nor delegate the parenting to relatives.

At 3 months old it's only just the end of the fourth trimester, I would not have wanted to be away from my baby for so long nor be so far away from them (and in fact still didn't, well into toddlerhood). I can't fathom actively wanting to leave them with someone else for so long at that age. It's not about trusting others, it's about wanting to be with your baby/child. Everyone is different but your posts read as very cold.

I wouldnt have, because I absolutely could not cope if there was a problem or concern and I was hours away. DC get poorly quickly and I would nto want to be trying to get home under pressure.

I once left dc with a childminder (their usual childcare) and attended a work training event 1.5 hours away. I got messages from the CM saying dc2 was fractious and had a temp, and so I set off for home. By the time I got there the cm was really stressed, dc 2 was really poorly with a chest infection and ended up in hospital for a few days.

That journey home was one of the most stressful of my life. No way would I want to double it and get a concerned phone call about a baby!

Also, if my family were keen to see the baby, I would want to maximise that and take lots of pics with relatives who may not be seen v often or with us forever too. Family weddings are a great 'one stop shop' for catching up with everyone.

I would find it a lot less faff and stress to take the baby to the wedding than not. I don't really recognise the issues you have as at 3 months old and with lots of willing arms I can't see you'd need much gear. I bf though but was a 'sling and boobs, let's go' type.

If you are happy to leave baby then I'd leave them and enjoy letting your hair down.

Mine did overnights with Grandparents from 6 weeks.

Having a babysitter is not delegating parenting 🙄

My parents had my kids monthly from 8 weeks old. It was good for all involved.

It’s not really unfathomable is it?

OP I’m sorry your post has been derailed. Is there a possibility to take MIL with you and stay overnight. You can go to the celebration, MIL could do some shopping etc in the other town then after a few hours the baby could go back to the hotel with MIL so you can have a few hours of adult time at the wedding.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having time away from your baby at 3 months. Everyone is different, mine stayed at parents from a similar age for various reasons but I don’t think it means I loved my baby less than anyone else who couldn’t bear to be away from theirs (and I’d had multiple miscarriages but personally was comfortable having a night apart) as many have said we all have different personalities, feelings, family dynamics, situations so as long as you choose something you’re comfortable with then that’s the right decision. Hope you have a lovely time whatever you choose to do ☺️

There’s really no way for anyone else to answer this except to point out that your post sounds very positive about leaving your baby but all your reasons for bringing them is about other people. Only you get a vote so I’d go with your preference and leave the baby with your babysitter.

I have no idea what it would feel like to have either that sort of trust or to leave a baby that little. I breasted nonstop at that age and my husband and I are immigrants so it’s just us and always has been. So I can’t relate to any of this but can see that you want to leave your baby - which is totally fine! Hope you enjoy the wedding :)

I didn’t leave my baby all day until he was about 9 months

Many mums work full time with a baby 3 months old. Well - used to. The self employed still do. Lots of people with different lives on this thread who have the luxury of months off work. It was always relatively normal to leave babies with close relatives at 3 months if bottle fed and you fully trusted the relatives! My dc never got sick with their grandma and I never rushed home once.

I've ne we actually got this either.

What about people who are working?

Do what you feel/ know is best.
I don’t think it’s too young to leave a baby with someone you know will care for them properly.