AIBU to smash the potty into little pieces

[argghhjustcant]

I feel like giving up, honestly. Two year old has held her urine for five hours. Finally got her to sit on the potty and she’s just leaning forward so her face is on the ground and dicking about basically.

I am trying to be positive but she’s not cooperating at all and I can’t do anything without her wanting to do it.

She's not ready. Put the potty away, try again in a few weeks.

what @Mudflaps said

If she's managed to hold it then she's not far off. Plenty of kids bypass the potty and use the toilet with a training seat and a step.

The frustrating thing is she is ready in a physical sense: can hold her urine, can wee on the potty, knows what the potty is for. She just won’t.

They don't need 'to be ready' she's 2. They need to be taught/trained.

@argghhjustcant have you tried some kind of reward? It's amazing what they'll do for a chocolate button blueberry.

She’s not interested in bribery unfortunately.

I thought I’d cracked it but seems not. I am doing the most awful job.

It's a very slow developmental thing for some kids. Ask her when she is ready to try again.

Tell her she will earn a little treat.
Smarties or buttons.
1 for a wee 2 for a poo

Keep reminding her to try and don't tell her off when she doesn't get it right just allow her to keep trying

My son didn't want to use the potty at all, he was straight on a baby seat on top of the toilet.
My daughter tried the potty a little but also got on better with the seat.

Good luck!

I think this is the issue. It’s a power struggle because she could easily just sit on the potty and have a wee but refuses to. So according to ChatGPT I should just keep it low pressure but it feels that way is just opening up to her dicking about and taking the piss really.

I am sick of nappies. They cost so much and they are a pain so using them when we don’t have to really grates.

She's not ready yet. Try again in a couple of weeks

Have you tried her on the loo with a child seat? Does she see you on the loo? (Good if yes because she may want to copy you.) And where is the potty? (Personally, I am against it being anywhere other than the bathroom because that's where people go to the loo.) I would carry on (hard, I know), because you must win the power struggle.

There’s no way she could get to the toilet herself even with a seat, it’s very big and she’s very little. I know there’s a dislike for potties on here but there’s no way she’d manage the toilet.

You’re not doing an awful job at all, it takes time and all children take their own pace. One of mine took longer than the rest and was a nightmare with it. She’ll get there just keep trying and try not to stress too much over it

Stickers all the way for even just sitting on the potty.

Thanks. It’s so hard not to stress. She seemed to be doing well and she would be if she could just follow the simple ‘let’s sit on the potty before we go to get your brother!’ without sweeping the floor with her hair 😩😩

She would with one of those bathroom stools. Does she clean her teeth in the washbasin ?

I feel for you, OP. Toilet training was the one thing I found difficult about these early years. BTW, I don't dislike potties on principle. My DD refused to use one and wanted to use the toilet. She also had lots of wee accidents even though she was good at talking ie could have said something and was confident about using the toilet. Once I read about learning readiness, I realised she couldn't be bothered to ask because it was not important to her. Once I relaxed, she got the hang of asking, which was probably coincidental.

You can get a toddler toilet seat with steps up, they're not expensive.

I would massively up the amount of liquid you're giving her, black currant squash is good.
And up the rewards - if she's not motivated by stickers or chocolate buttons then get some cheap toys from Poundland and wrap them up in shiny wrapping paper.

You could lift her on. It’s worth a try.

My breaking point was DD sitting on the potty for ages then running into a corner and weeing, while laughing her head off. I'm afraid I kicked the potty across the room in frustration (not near her) but after that using the potty was no problem! I don't recommend it though.

Is it just that you're asking to sit on the potty to 'try' for a wee?

My DD faffed about on the potty if we did that so I had to change my strategy. Instead of getting her to sit on the potty periodically I had more success by saying to her regularly (probably every 15 minutes to start) "remember to tell me if you need to try for a wee" because suddenly it was like it was her idea not mine.

She potty trained at 2 years 1 month and has always had a cast iron bladder in spite of lots of drinking (I'm the same to be fair!)

Do you think everyone else has massive two year olds or tiny toilets? Of course they can't get on and off unaided. You buy a child's loo seat and you take her to it and lift her on and off. You keep a step in front of the toilet so that eventually she can use it herself. Surely you have a step in the bathroom so that she can use the sink?

my DD also just didn't want to, when I knew she was ready. Bribes just didn't work. eventually I gave her a gift - a doll buggy that she had wanted - and then said that it was only for girls who used the potty. It worked.
She was so ready that she was trained by the end of that day.
She is still really stubborn though, about anything. If she doesn't want, bribery just doesn't work. I need to be very creative to make her think the ideas are hers!!!
ETA she refused to use the toilet for about 3 months afterwards. only the potty, even with seat and stool. But eventually we cracked that too, after she had her first (and only) accident in nursery. They refused to have a potty so she had been withholding for 5 hours every day.

If she can hold her wee that long she is ready. Give her lots of drinks then after a while take her to the toilet you sit on the toilet for a wee sit her on the potty and turn the sink taps on. That should do it ..runnng water helps I would try and make it more fun as well. In my experience it needs to be no nappies in the day just nice pants with Bluey or another popular character she likes on ....pants and puddles for a while. Both my children were out of nappies by 2 years old with hardly any accidents but wore them at night. Good luck

I disagree with what a lot of posters are saying here.

Don’t use bribery – toileting is a natural, human function. They should do it without.

Don’t load her up with drinks – it interferes with their normal urine cycle and holding ability.

Don’t make her her sit on the potty if she doesn’t need to go – it interferes with them recognising the feeling of needing to go.

I used the Oh Crap method with both of my twins at 2yrs old. Worked great, but you need acute dedication and definitely read the book.

‘Readiness’ is a bit of a myth – she’s two, she’s ready.

OK well I think it she refuses to sit on a potty fighting with her over a toilet isn’t wise. We’ve got a step and seat,

I guess this is where I’m at, she’s ready and could do it tomorrow but refuses so then I don’t know what to do, I genuinely don’t.

Maybe she won’t fight over using the loo. You won’t know unless you try.