AIBU to smash the potty into little pieces

[argghhjustcant]

I feel like giving up, honestly. Two year old has held her urine for five hours. Finally got her to sit on the potty and she’s just leaning forward so her face is on the ground and dicking about basically.

I am trying to be positive but she’s not cooperating at all and I can’t do anything without her wanting to do it.

It can’t be good for her holding in that long. I’d go back to nappies but talk a lot about big girls using the toilet and so on.

I feel for you, my boys weren’t trained until over three. They just couldn’t get it. It was very frustrating.

Age 2 is really not too young to be toilet trained, Go back 25-30 years, when ours were little, and it was rare to find a 2yo who wasn’t toilet trained. My two had to be trained to start preschool, at 2 and a half, so no one wanted to miss out on that.

It’s the nappy industry who’ve decided that children can’t be trained at 2 because they’re not ready, despite being able to do it for years gone by, and parents have fallen for it.

Just pause and try again in a while. Can never see thr rush to potty train, or stress unnecessarily over anything parenting wise!

I have 5 and everyone of them was different. Only one of them liked the potty and the rest preferred toilet.

I found the best was to stay neutral and keep it business like whether they used the toilet, did it in the corner or pooed themselves. It's a natural body function there's nothing shameful. Keep the pressure low. It's all about being comfortable.

Weirdly mine were dry at night from 18 months but daytime was trickier. Just keep going. Once you go no nappies there should be it.

FYI you don’t sound remotely sorry for her child 😂

Ultimately it won't make any difference if she is potty trained at 2 or 2 and a half or 3. She will start using the loo/potty when she is ready. She won't still be in nappies when she is 16.

Trying to impose it now is exhausting for you and it sounds like it's hugely rewarding for her because she's getting loads of your attention and energy. Remove that attention and energy and the novelty of the game will wear off. When she does eventually use the potty/loo THEN give her the attention.

Best way to do it is to take the potty everwhere with you for a week or two.Keep putting her on it.Make it nice maybe get a book about peeing in it and keep reading it to her.Chap GBT has never had to actually do it, getting someone to use the potty!
Unfortunately it's like a lot of learnt things constant practice works.I have done it multiple times.
You can still be relaxed and not a cruel person if you persit in this way.
Also ditxh the desposables she needs to feel wet, have lots of changes of clothes with you .Also some sort of waterproof cushion so if she pees in your car not so much mess.
Good luck

Then stop. Try again in a month or so. She’s not ready, you’re just creating stress for you and her.

Try her on the toilet

Im potty training my two year old also.
she keeps trying to put her hands into her wee everytime! Its annoying so I feel you.

OP you are not 'doing an awful job'. Toilet training a child is headmelting. I found it the most difficult aspect of all.

She's a very young child and you're doing just fine. The 'accidents' don't matter, nursery will be used to them. Put the potty in the most private place you can and leave her to it, she may have a degree of 'stagefright' if you sit her on it and expect her to perform.

Agree with other posters that ditching pull ups in the house is a good idea, though it will lead to an enormous washing pile - children need to (briefly) feel the discomfort of being wet. Please try not to stress or smash the thing to pieces, as much as you feel like it. She will 'get' it soon I promise!

This is a brilliant idea!

I'm in the she's not ready camp. My boy was 'later' than his peers who's parents took time off work & did it over a period of 1-2 weeks. I just kept the potty out & he simply started using it when he was ready & honestly he never needed a nappy again (except at night). I couldn't believe it. I think a lot of people link potty training to intelligence/competition but it's not. I get the frustration re nappy prices.

Are you directing her to sit on the potty? If so, I would stop. Leave the potty out and let her get on with it herself. If she has an accident then clean her up with no fuss.
I did thh9s with all three of mine.

With mine telling them to sit in the potty or bribing them would have just turned it in to a power struggle and increased their anxiety about having an accident.

But this sounds really positive, OP? As you said, she knows when she needs to go, can hold it and can go on the potty. It sounds like maybe you were both just having a bad moment when you posted?

What happens if you just dress her in pants from now on (not pull ups, actual pants)? She may have a few accidents, then she'll get used to it. She may try a 'dirty protest' a few times, which is trying for you but, again, she probably won't like being dirty and will stop when she realises it isn't a battle between you and her, the potty/toilet is just where everyone goes to the toilet.

You sound really angry at your child - maybe she’s picking up on that. Must be scary for her. My first child took to the potty immediately when they were younger than yours - my second refused the potty and jumped to toilets. They’re all just different and your child is just not ready.

I never used pottys, only child seats on proper toilets. When I was struggling I used Gina Ford’s potty training methods and it worked like a charm (though I never used her for any other child advice). Over twenty year’s ago now, so a bit vague but I can remember how really helpful her book was.

20-30 months is the optimum according to the 'Oh Crap' method we used so if it was me I probably wouldn't wait. I also disagree that she isn't ready - if she's done well sometimes she can do it. She just doesn't want to, probably because she is stubborn. I had one of these.

Methods i have tried with my kids- 'race to the potty' where you get the older sibling to pretend to race them to the potty then little one gets on and wees (warning this can go wrong if oldest does a real race, gets on the potty, and blocks the youngest who then tantrums before getting themselves 😆); seeing how loud they can make their wee into the potty with lots of associated tsssshhhh noises to encourage them; just telling them where the potty is and saying 'remember we go to the potty when we need a wee' and 'trust' them to go themselves, having had a big talk with them about them being a big girl now so you know she can do it herself; star charts; going less frequently (giving more trust that they will go when they need to go, though this may result in accidents it does take the pressure off them a bit more). Good luck with it, we still haven't 100% cracked it with my DS who is potty trained 95% of the time but every few weeks has constant accidents. It's a nightmare.

I’m not sure why you’re so argumentative over people suggesting she uses a toilet- it’s really weird 😂

My daughter didn’t like the potty. Was trained before she turned two, using a toilet without either a step or a special seat because we were abroad and didn’t have them available to us at the time.

There was no fight. She said she didn’t want the potty, I asked would she prefer the toilet, she was much more comfortable using the toilet.

My boys couldn’t give a monkeys where they peed.

I personally don’t buy into the ‘they’re not ready’ thing. I was told the same about my daughter when I asked for advice when I started training her a month before her second birthday. She was definitely ready she was just a bit stubborn. I trained my son (first child) at the same age and he was very much about the treats and pushing a wee out etc so I tho if he it would be the same second time round but actually when it came down to it my daughter, once it clicked, barely ever had an accident whereas my son was slower to be reliable.
I used the oh crap method but it does take a lot of commitment and you have to watch them like a hawk. It was hard work for about 2-3 weeks i think but then she was amazing and almost instantly became dry at night as well. She was completely clean and dry in the day by 26 months old.
I could have shrugged and thought she’s not ready but I knew she was as she was able to hold her wee and she was talking in full sentences by 2 years old so she was more than intellectually capable/able to communicate her needs.
Depends how much you want to persevere OP, toddlers are hard work!

DS held for 27 fucking hours when I tried potty training at 3. I wouldn't believe that was humanly possible if I didn't witness it first hand. Toddlers are actual demons in cute packages.

I’m not sure why you’re so argumentative over people suggesting she uses a toilet- it’s really weird

It is. She completely lost her shit with me. Apparently ERIC (whatever that is) doesn’t recommend it and overrides common sense.

I have two DC who are the two most stubborn people on the planet. (They still are, in their teens/20s, though luckily they are toilet trained now….) Like some PPs I found potties useless, they are uncomfortable and awkward and my dc hated them. What worked best for me was a fit-in toilet seat like the one posted earlier, I would ask them regularly if they needed a wee and wanted to try, and encouraged them to use pull-up nappies like pants and made a big deal of the grown up pants we could go shopping for once they could do it. Two chocolate buttons for a poo, one for a wee and crucially they could refuse to try or refuse to do anything but then I would get the buttons they missed out on. I’d be like “oh nooooooo, I REALLY hope you can’t do a wee, I want that choccy button”. They would be full of glee when they won the button and I missed out

Its not that they are not ready. Its that people are leaving it too late!

Exactly. Honestly, people make it into such a drama and it just doesn't need to be. Try for a day, if they're not ready (whether emotionally or physically), leave for a few months and repeat.

And for the PP who thinks wee and poo in nappies is 'dirty', it's far dirtier in pants or knickers when you persist through days of accidents! 😂