AIBU to smash the potty into little pieces

[argghhjustcant]

I feel like giving up, honestly. Two year old has held her urine for five hours. Finally got her to sit on the potty and she’s just leaning forward so her face is on the ground and dicking about basically.

I am trying to be positive but she’s not cooperating at all and I can’t do anything without her wanting to do it.

Just leave it for now & try to calm down!
We didn’t even buy a potty for our DS.
They wanted to be like their DF, probably about 3yrs, straight to the toilet.
The more you stress the worse it is. Apologies for sounding patronising but it is what it is!!

Hopefully today is a better day. It's just a matter of time and patience. Potty training is often one step forward and half a step back; but over several weeks real progress will be made, and accidents far fewer. Keep up the good work!

I really struggled with my patience with my dc toilet training. Leave them to do it in their own time. Praise all attempts. Don't be me.

Toilet training was the only aspect of looking after my DD that I struggled with, 20+ years ago. It seems it's something that lots of mothers find difficult. After all these years, I can stop giving myself a hard time about it!

Give her a big hug, put the TV on, take yourself off for a cup of tea and take a breather. Put a nappy over her pants so that she feels if they're wet but you don't have to worry about scrubbing the sofa.

None of this is worth getting stressed out over, and certainly none of this is worth making your DD stressed over. You won't care in a few months that she had a few accidents or it took a bit longer than you'd hoped, but you will remember getting stressed out and angry with your tiny child. I'm pretty tolerant of my own failings as a parent, but the times I look back on with shame are when I let my own stress or tiredness make me excessively harsh with my children.

Thank you for sharing this. There is a huge push, especially all the threads, about making sure they are trained by, or near, age 2. I couldn't register my dc in some activities because diapers or pull-ups were still worn.
I think it got to me. My poor dc. 😔
Even now, my 2nd dc is still in diapers but barred from registering in a parent participation dance class as not fully trained.

She's just a bit too little. Put the potty away, try again in a couple of months. Mine got it within a day at just past 3. Absolutely not ready until then.

And ignore the stupid toilet comments. Like anyone who learned on a potty, she'll also be able to learn to use a toilet in time!

Thank-you for being the catalyst for me seeing things differently 😊

The whole issue of toilet training has become high profile because of the high percentage of four-year olds arriving in reception in nappies. It seems odd to me that in a cost-of-living crisis, parents aren't eager to be done with nappies as early as possible. I wonder if gentle parenting is a factor too. Waiting until the child is ready is tricky. All you can do is look for signs but I don't buy the idea that there is a point for each child at which they are 'ready'.

If I were doing it again, I'd be tempted to have a go at elimination communication (awful term). Holding a tiny baby over a top hat potty and making 'sssss' noises and blowing raspberries sounds like a better use of time than changing nappies several times a day, and more pleasant for the baby not being wet and worse for some of the time.

Typo

@IdaGlossop Conversely, my other dc, started climbing onto toilet on their own about 6 mos ago. Still not using it, but going through all the motions and it's early. It's not about "gentle parenting" which I think gets a bad rap, but it is about being respectful and mindful of where the child is at developmentally which is important for their self-esteem.

Exactly. It shouldn’t be a power struggle. The dd how’s how to hold her wee and how to use the potty. Back off and let her decide when she needs to go.

Does it matter if she “dicks about” if she’s sitting on the potty? Low pressure means not having something else you’re trying to do or some place you’re trying to go. She sounds like she’s totally capable and so just keep at it and don’t try to be doing other shit.

Exactly!!

The child is almost 3. It's over a year later than the best time! (Under 2).

I think we actually do agree. A parent can't make a child use a potty but they can be encouraging.

Blackcurrant squash can irritate the bladder btw. It's best not to drink too much of it.

Why o why do people rush to potty train 2 year olds? when all the research tells us the closer to 3 is best with faster results.

Firstly using chat GPT for toilet training, sorry what.....
Secondly toilet training shouldn't be hard or stressful, she clearly isn't ready. Both of mine were trained in a few weeks, 1 months before they turned 3. Straight to the toilet with a trainer seat. Your method isn't working, leave it until the summer.

Why on earth are you letting chat GPT guide your parenting ?? You do realise that LLM technology is completely wrong frequently?

I found the ERIC website - it’s not Chat GPT. This is what it says

• Some children may prefer to go straight to using the toilet. If this is your child, get a children’s toilet seat and a step stool to help them to feel secure and relaxed. Having feet firmly on the floor or a stool is the ideal position for fully emptying the bladder and bowel.

https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/

What an utterly ridiculous comment. There's no need to make such a sweeping judgement.
Comments like yours sound incredibly pious.

Why should the ‘stupid’ toilet posts be ignored. How rude & arrogant.
We didn’t do ghastly potties in our house, other posters the same.

Everyone knows best ...but in your home you are the queen!

Because lots of potty training research has been funded by nappy companies. They want to keep kids in nappies as long as acceptable.
Historically lots of kids were out of nappies and dry at 2.
And nappies are expensive esp when people have more than one child.