DP says I'd look younger with hair and make-up, AIBU?

[CurlingChamp]

I’ve been out this evening and was chatting to two much older men (70s/80s) that I’ve known for some time. My age was mentioned along the lines of “well you’re younger than my youngest son, and he’s 44. You’re about 42 aren’t you?”

As a soon to be 48 year old who runs on 4 hours sleep with 2 young children and a full-on job, I was pleased with the compliment…

…until I told my DP, who thought about it and said “just imagine if you did your hair and make-up, you’d look maybe 37”.

How would take that comment from your DP?

Whether you like it or not we live in a society where aesthetics are real and ever changing. I don't care what you say, very few women are going to like a man in tights with a powdered wig and rouged face. Actually, maybe you would because men wearing makeup might be a sign of 'equality'. 🤣

Women love to moan but the truth is that nobody is calling a portly bloke 'a real man' like we see with 'real' women. Hell, most of the black guys I work with seem to love a straight up fatty but the reverse is not true and they all go to the gym to stay in shape for their chubby girlfriends.

If a woman is well dressed, attractive, and well made up she can get away with being more than a bit porky. Lots of guys like this. However, nobody seems to like a curvy man. And tbh it's always been women driving the Kate Moss aesthetic. I've seen it discussed loads of times before and so many women say stuff like "I know my partner would probs prefer a Scarlett Johansson but I'd still rather be a Kate Moss tbh".

Women are the ones that police female beauty standards the most. Don't blame it on men. They never cared about size zero etc.

This is all nonsense. Can’t even work out your point.
Mine is simple: women don’t need to wear makeup anymore than men do. They can be perfectly groomed, professional and (if that’s what they want) attractive without it. As men can. What is your problem with this viewpoint, exactly?

I think he was clumsily paying you a compliment?

I always liked doing hair and make up and even when I had a young baby who didn’t sleep much a 5 minute routine made me look and feel much better. You don’t have to do it. But why wouldn’t anyone want to look their best? I don’t really get it.

It's just feminists trying to force their minority views on women once again - most women don't actually identify as feminists nowadays despite supporting 'equality'.

Even in the animal kingdom you can observe sex specific mating displays. Some animals do things like build elaborate structures and decorate them with flowers to attract a mate. If it wasn't the literal definition of 'natural' behavior we might say it was a contrived and unnecessary rigmarole.

I actually like to make an effort for my partner. Not because I need to. It's just that I like fit men and wouldn't fancy him as much if he didn't make the effort or if he let himself go. Physical attraction isn't the only aspect in a relationship but it's an important one.

Most men understand that being successful is going to be a massive benefit as most women don't like deadbeats. It seems to be a primarily female concept that a partner should "love me for who I am" whilst making no effort whatsoever. I wonder if it's down to the dynamic whereby it's much easier for women to find a partner (there will always be a bloke out there and it doesn't matter if you're shy because men usually take the initiative).

If he loved you for the person you were when he met you, but you then put on four stone and became a miserable battleaxe....well, you're not really the same person anymore are you? Yes, we all age and physical beauty fades, but a relationship is still a two way thing. Women are quick to moan when they perceive their partner to have become a slob.

Fact is, the vast majority of men prefer a woman wearing makeup. The vast majority of women prefer a man who's well groomed and not obese.

Ok. Anyone who is in favour of gender equality is a feminist. Pretending you aren’t doesn’t make you Cooler (quite the opposite).
Id like t9 th8nk that a) we were a bit more evolved than birds etc and b) tha5’ a king an effort)p’ didn’t just mean makeup. I make an effort. I am clean, groomed, in clean clothes which I think suit me. None of ‘sexual displays’ means makeup is essential.
Can’t follow your arguments about relationships, sorry.

Really odd that you make an equivalence between not wearing makeup and obesity. Also obesity and relationships, but that’s a whole other thread.
As I said. I make an effort. My effort just doesn’t includes make up. And I do t think it’s true most men prefer make up.

oh PS in nature generally most of the "displayers" are male

Not strictly true. Plenty of female animals put on a display.

I don't really agree with the "you're a feminist if you believe in equality". It's a bit patronising to me. Like saying all proud Americans are Trump supporters because who wouldn't want to "make America great".

Or a better example might be saying that anyone who cares about men's issues is an MRA. The textbook definition and the actual observed behaviour are often miles apart - obv that's a generalisation because feminists aren't a homogeneous bunch.

In fact, I'm not even sure a GC feminist would agree that a libfem in favour of Self ID espouses equality. But equality in itself isn't the same as feminism IMO because feminism only focuses on women's rights (with the presupposition that women are oppressed). Some people don't believe in the patriarchy, so for them 'equality' also involves men's issues.

Not goady. My point was not to feel as if you HAVE to wear makeup etc. As many many women do.
Not that you shouldn't be ALLOWED to wear it if you want to.

Do men really? Or is it just what they get?

There's no valid comparison between a fat man and a barefaced healthy woman, by the by.

Plenty of female animals put on a display
which is why I said "most"
As for the rest of your post, I have NO idea what you are on about.

As for the rest of your post, I have NO idea what you are on about.

Clearly.

You seem to think that’s because you are operating at a higher level than other posters. I don’t think that’s the case. It’s something else.