To be upset at being sworn at by a man at the gym

[HuffandPuffandPuff]

So I’m a long time member of one of those chain 24 hour gyms.

Never had any issues or seen any before apart from the standard men asking people how many sets they have left on machines. Often big groups of men but never really intimidating. Standard gym culture but I’ve never felt unsafe. It’s a friendly vibe.

This morning I was using a machine. I was doing 4 sets of 5 as I’d increased the weight. Was on my phone between sets. I’d done one set and I usually do about 30 seconds rest. I was checking my phone as I’ve been messaging tradespeople for a house job. A man comes up and says “how many do you have left?” I said 3. He then says “no how many facebooks do you have left?” I looked at him puzzled and took my headphones out and said “sorry?” And he said “you’re just on Facebook. How long are you going to be?” in quote an angry way. He then said “can I just use the machine?” I said no. He then said along the lines of “you’re just on your fucking phone just fuck off” at which point I got up and said “don’t speak to me that way” and he told me to fuck off home. He was twice my size and his tone was quite aggressive and he was in my personal space.

I was so shocked, I ran into the staff office and began to cry. His friend followed me in and said “come out you can use a different machine. I’ve spoken to him.” I said no I’m waiting in here to speak to staff as that wasn’t acceptable and he tried to persuade me to come out. Some staff finally came in and took a statement. They said it was unacceptable but just said they’ll speak to him and then log it. They walked me out and the man was with a group of his friends in the machine I’d been on.

I still feel really shaken up. I’m scared to go back to the gym now because a. What if he’s mad that I reported it and b. I’ll now be known as the woman who ran into the office crying.

I also can’t help but think he wouldn’t have spoken to me like that if I was a man or a young attractive woman.

You can't go through life calling anyone that has an opinion different to yours a troll! That's being intolerant and now allowing other people to feel that feelings are valid! You can't criticise that guy but then call people names and want comments deleted because you expected to be 100% agreed with! There's no trolls on here, just people who have the had the frustration of time wasters in the gym. And yes there's annoying meathead men in every gym too, they irritate me with their over the top noise making to look hard when they lift a weight and ignoring signs and throwing the weights at the floor when they've finished with it make a massive clatter and disrespectfully ignore the requests of the gym not to damage the floor and weights.

The rest are oart of the workout. If you can't cope with the fact someone else is using a machine and you need to wait and need to throw a tantrum about it don't use public/shared spaces.

Read the room, phone users are obviously causing a problem that most of us have witnessed and felt our workouts were impacted by it. People do take the piss with phones in the gym!

What is wrong with 5 reps? Just because you want only light, comfortable weights doesn't mean everyone else does. And if you are doing 5 reps in 15 seconds then your form will be shit. At best you won't be getting all the benefits you could from the exercise, at worst you risk causing yourself an injury.

By "most of us" you mean the loudest and most entitled.
Phones are allowed in gyms.
Rest periods are necessary.
You don't get to demand people justify doing sonething they're allowed to do, in a space they're paying to be in.
Most of us grasp they concept of "they were using it first" in nursery school.

Yes but when people are on phones the rest period is very excessive! 30 secs is enough between reps. Some people's workouts are mainly messing about with phones now.

So the OP cant criticise an aggressive man who swore at her and intimidated her because she called a bunch of posters "trolls". That makes no sense.

And so what if you have come across time wasters in the gym, we all have. But 1. resting between sets is not time wasting and 2. Not even timewasters should be verbally abused.

You clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Rest periods for strength/power sets are usually 3-5 minutes.

30 secs is no where near enough if you are either lifting heavy or doing high volume reps. Seriously, get a trainer for half a dozen sessions. You would benefit massively.

I too use a chain gym regularly but rarely use the weight machines as we have weights, kettle bells and punch bag at home. However, the time I spend on the bike, rower, cross trainer and treadmill all I do is watch people sat on their phones on the machines. It should not be allowed. Believe me, its frustrating watching it but if you’re waiting to use a particular machine and someone is sat on it on their phone I’d say something too!

Did i state that that anyone should force someone off a machine whilst they are using it? It's the ridiculous phone usage that goes on in gyms. None of us are being loud! How do you type a loud message? It's about common decency! Why clearly isn't your thing.

We aren't all going to the gym to bodybuild! I'm talking about simple leg and arm machines, chest pull down machines where somebody is sat endlessly on the internet not using the machine!

It's not "ridiculous", you've domenstrated cleary you have no concept of how structured rest times work and would rather maintain outrage than admit ignorance.

By the sounds of it yes he was a bit aggressive but why is she allowed to call us trolls though?
I used to go to the gym on my way home from work, I had an hour and needed to do what I could in that hour and the amount of times I had to struggle to stick to any kind of workout plan because I couldn't get in stuff because of phones distracting people, you wait for a rowing machine and theres people using them.as a seat to sit and use a phone before eventually starting to use it ten minutes later! I've waited for exercise bikes whilst people are sat surfing the internet and peddling that bloody slowly because they aren't concentrating!

Im not there to bodybuild. But i respect my body enough to want to do any workout properly and I respect my time enough to want to do it in an efficient way. And it doesn't matter what machine you are using, if you are completing 5 reps in 15 secs then you shouldn't be using that machine and you should at least ask a gym instructor how to use the machines properly.

We haven't been talking about someone sat endlessly on the Internet. Its all been about rest periods of up to a few minutes. You just have no knowledge of workouts and even after it's been explained to you by multiple posters you still double down on your ignorance.

The two things aren't at all connected, that's why!!! And he wasn't just "bit aggressive", why are you so intent at minimising male aggression? And the OP has called people trolls because they were acting like it. There have been quite a few posters on this thread who have been antagonistic towards the OP and who have refused to respond to what shes actually posted and instead made up their own versions just so they could berate her. That is trolling.

None of the rest of your post is relevant. This thread isn't about people hogging a cardio machine for 10 minutes doing nothing. This thread was a woman seeking support after being verbally abused by an aggressive man in the gym who clearly had an issue with women being in the weights section (or just women in general).

So when you’re annoyed about people ‘endlessly scrolling’ on machines what do you do? Do you ask to share? Do you give them a heads up? Do you swear at them?

or do you just use another machine?

I get it’s frustrating, I once did 20 minutes on the rowing machine and a man next to me was just sat on the next rower on his phone the whole time. I don’t check my phone between every set at all and I certainly don’t have time to sit for twenty minutes scrolling at the gym.

The thing is if anyone is going to police phone usage, it needs to be the gym and the gym staff in accordance to their policy.

Do you honestly think the man would have spoken to another man like that?

If you look at the terms and conditions of the gym, they will have a policy of abuse to other members. He has over stepped the mark and should be given a formal warning. A second warning and his gym membership would be revoked.

He's a nob at the end of the day and he made someone extremely scared of his size and attitude.
It does not matter that you were on your phone. I hope you are ok.

I am a Gen X woman in my 50's and menopause brain would have made me refuse to move, ask him if he'd treat his mother/sister/girlfriend/daughter like that and then actually call the police instead of getting the gym staff to assist and talk to the police on the phone whilst he ranted and raved.

Again he's a nob not you.

I used to go to the gym on my way home from work, I had an hour and needed to do what I could in that hour and the amount of times I had to struggle to stick to any kind of workout plan because I couldn't get in stuff because of phones distracting people, you wait for a rowing machine and theres people using them.as a seat to sit and use a phone before eventually starting to use it ten minutes later! I've waited for exercise bikes whilst people are sat surfing the internet and peddling that bloody slowly because they aren't concentrating!

@FlyingCatGirl you have NO idea what kinds of workouts people are doing and why. When I was rehabbing a torn knee cartilage I cycled slowly for 40 minutes most days. I used various bits of machinery slowly, to add load to my knee gradually. I use a squat rack for at least 30 minutes, and ditto for a lifting platform. These are all part of my work outs.

And if you know what you're doing, or have a good workout plan, there are substitute exercises you can do if someone else is using the machine or rack you want to use. Lifting platform not available for heavy deadlifts? I'll do very heavy dumbbell or kettlebell RDLs or walking sandbag lunges. And so on.

Your workout is not more important than anyone else's. And all the PPs criticising her, and other gym users using their phones know nothing about training. Rest breaks are essential.

@HuffandPuffandPuff was doing her workout and she was threatened aggressively. That man should be banned from the gym, no question.

I hope you get some satisfactory answers and ACTION from the gym management , OP.

This is why I stopped bothering with the gym - people hogging machines playing on their phones. Very frustrating

You clearly know very little about effective training. I suggest you book some classes, or some time with a qualified PT who can show you how to train effectively and safely.

Only if you're lifting very light. Heavy lifting needs minutes of rest between reps.

peddling that bloody slowly because they aren't concentrating!

They're actually using the machine and you're complaining because you think they should peddle faster?

Have you not heard of LISS, low intensity steady state? Or that people might be rehabbing after injuries? You seem kind of ignorant about different types of workouts and you should educate yourself a bit and concentrate on your own workout.

We don't share machines here. You wait or do something else. Free weights, stretching, bodyweight another machine, planks up the wall.

You would probably hate my row/free weight workouts where I do lightweight arm weights during my minute rowing rest.

He was rude, but IMHO you were worse and your reaction showed that you knew it.
There is no need to be on your 'phone constantly, even if you were waiting for quotes from tradespeople. You were at the gym and should have been concentrating on that.
It is Friday, you can afford to be separated from your 'phone for an hour (or however long you spend at the gym). If you are collecting quotations from several tradespeople to compare, just knowing that 1 or 2 came in does not get you anywhere.
I am afraid that I have to agree with several other posters, this obsession with mobile phones is unhealthy and anti-social - I have been a user since 1996, but my phone lives in a dedicated pocket in my bag and - shock horror - whilst I can get mails etc. on it, it is mainly used for making and receiving calls. Sometimes I even turn the ringer off.

We're not talking about "lifting heavy", we're talking about sitting at a machine and not actively using it.