Fed up already maternity leave

[SpookyTeacup]

I'm miserable. I've waited so long for my miracle baby and I absolutely love her to death. Her dad, however, is showing me what a complete waste of a human he is. I'm 1 week PP, trying to exclusively breastfeed and he gets angry with us both because she's always feeding and it's not 'normal' (she's cluster feeding). He's laughed at how little milk I'm able to pump, called my nipples weird because theyre flat. All he's done for the whole paternity leave is game despite me asking for attention - he laughs at me. He's physically supportive by doing the bare minimum of changing a dirty nappy, cleaning, or having me take her to him - only if she's sleeping - to have in a cot next to him whilst he games so I can have a short nap. There's zero emotional support for me and he laughs if I suggest it. I let him sleep through the night and I deal with all the feeding, crying, nappies. I'm so tired and running on zero. He's gotten angry with us both again cause of her cluster feeding and now I can't settle her. I'm so upset

A screaming baby isnt normal. It may be usual, but not normal. Its last resort of communication from the baby , saying something isnt right. Its up to the parent to work out what it is, not to accept it as normal. OP needs a good breastfeeding consultant to get breastfeeding going.

I also agree with this. I had a baby who would not stop crying and he was starving - I just didn’t make enough milk. It was shit, I hated it but there you go. Absolutely not saying OP isn’t making enough but definitely worth seeing a lactation consultant.

Hi, hello, qualified breastfeeding consultant here. An amount of screaming at the breast IS normal, healthy and to be expected. Usually in the evening for about an hour, usually whilst on the breast.

Can you mum come and get you today? One week into being a mum and normal rules don't apply, people will come and help don't think you are putting anyone out by asking for their help.

He's not being normal and he needs a sharp dose of reality today. Don't leave it until he's back at work and do tell his mother. He needs a good kick in the arse ffs.

I'm so sorry OP your husband is a complete abusive arse, he should be supporting you and baby and he certainly shouldn't be making unkind comments about your nipples or laughing at the amount you are currently able to pump or you needing emotional support and he shouldn't be getting angry at either you or baby. Rally as much help round you as possible and put a plan together to leave him.

I just want to give you a big hug, you're doing amazing.

He is a total arsehole. I hope his mum finds out & goes nuclear on him.

What a complete knob your husband is. Why do some men think they know everything? Useless waste of air. It's really hard work breastfeeding in the first few weeks, both my boys were constantly feeding to build the supply up at that age. You're doing a good job keeping up with it. See if there is a local breastfeeding support group near to you, you'll get some solidarity and support from the mums there.

Big hug from me too, OP. Your "D" H is anything but...

You're doing brilliantly. These days are so precious, even more so for you with such a wanted and loved baby.

Snuggle your little one, get your mum on your side and helping lots, and give yourself lots of credit. Being a mum is hard, but the fact you're doing so well with such a silly husband shows how amazing you are.

@SpookyTeacup
I though that might be the case. Get her round let her see whats happening.

MILs get bad rap on here but if you think she'll knock him into shape get her on the case.

I do think lost of people miss / forget that new borns are hard work. And paternity leave is to support Mum, not just so they can play Xbox or do odd jobs for other people 🙄I still haven't quite forgiven the bum hole that suggested DH could do some favour while on Paternity leave.

How are you and your LO this evening @SpookyTeacup?

So sorry OP. Cluster feeding is horrendous even with proper support. As a PP said, he's the twat and should bear the shame, not you. Get your mum to come stay and let him feel ashamed of himself.