I can’t bring myself to buy a ‘world’s best mum’ Mother’s Day card

[Bumblebeeforever]

I just wondered if anyone is in the same boat, every year I go to buy a Mother’s Day card and find myself unable to pick up anything that says ‘greatest mum’ or ‘best mum’, I usually just end up with a Happy Mothers Day one, although it seems silly, my mums fine, she’s hasn’t done anything wrong, she wasn’t abusive or horrible, and there are much worse mums out there, but I just can’t bring myself to send a card saying she’s the greatest when it feels like a lie. She’s quite selfish and was very controlling when I was younger and made some choices that now as a parent myself I look back on and don’t understand. She’d be very hurt if she knew I felt this way.

I feel the same, but I also feel like this isn’t going to cause any harm - you can still send a card that ticks all the boxes but that doesn’t trigger you as well x

I got my mother a “mother like no other card”. She’ll be pleased and I’m not lying.

I feel the same about my parents and my siblings. I would love to be close to them but they are all extremely odd and my parents were emotionally abusive. I have to hunt down a neutral card with nothing about being ‘best’ or ‘great’.

😂
"You're one in a million"...

Oh I love this 😂

When my Father was in prison I could not bring myself to get a World's Best Dad of You're The Greatest one, so I got Happy Father's Day. He was still my Father and I loved him, but great or best he was not!

I completely get it because I feel the same. I generally create a photo card on Moonpig with photos of her grandchildren that just says Happy Mother's Day, rather than some gushing sentiment.

I spend a long time each year finding the most neutral card possible. Love the responses above 😆

You’re not alone OP I have the same dilemma every year. My happy childhood memories are interspersed with flash backs of her leaning over me and screaming ‘you will be afraid of me’ in my face. So I find it quite difficult to pick up something without it feeling disingenuous. My main problem though is I come from a family who feel like cards have to be really soppy and emotional so a simple happy Mother’s Day would cause WW3.

I’m the same with both my parents. I just can’t.

Mine aren’t bad either. I just don’t think they’re the “best ever”, so I don’t get cards that say that.

I think I don’t like over schmaltzy things anyway, but that said I’d happily tell either of my kids they’re the best son/ daughter ever!

Oh, I always struggle with this.
Was delighted when I found one that had a fab super hero pic on the front. It said 'my Mum...' and then inside 'kicks bum.' Totally conveyed the stuff I DO admire my mum for - can get SO much done, strides out on her own, doesn't give a monkey's what anyone says. Much more appropriate than hearts and flowers. And I thought she'd get it.
And then she decided to totally misunderstand. Thought I was accusing her of child abuse!! She's never hit (or kicked) me in her life!! Caused loads of grief.

Happy Mother’s Day here. I always struggle with this too OP

So don't. There are plenty of cards just with a neutral picture, printed text just saying Happy Mother's Day. Then you can just sign your name. I did that for decades, before giving up altogether..... partly as I hate sentimentality, but mainly because I refuse to send a card that is dishonest (ie expressing emotions that I do not feel).

My Mum always made a point of picking out the most neutral message greetings cards growing up and letting me know about it as a sort of badge of honour. She considered any hint of affection or sentimentality 'twee'. It seems to have got increasingly difficult to find non soppy cards in recent years. I craft as a hobby and make her simple cards from my left over projects as it costs nothing and saves me half the effort it ever took her to comb through shops for 'appropriate' cards.

You’re not alone. Those £1 cards with a photo of flowers on the front were probably produced for this situation. I agonise over whether to write ‘love’ or just ‘best wishes’, so I feel you.

100% with you on this.

Growing up my mum wasn't awful but the family dynamic wasn't supportive or helpful for me.

Then when I got divorced she gave much more support to exh than she did to me. He was abusive, I was desperately unhappy. She said, 'yes, I know, but you made your bed and you have to lie on it'.

She was a kind and helpful grandmother, and our relationship was cordial.

But when she died my dsis was (and still is) full of the sentiment that she was the best Mum in the world. I have just accepted that we have different experiences. I don't say anything to dsis, I'm happy for her to keep hold of her memories. They are just very different to mine.

I stopped acknowledging it years ago. She doesn’t deserve it and see the older I get, the more I realise that. Sounds harsh but it’s true, she was a shit mum and I’ve no interest in celebrating her in that capacity. Get her whatever you feel comfortable with.

I feel the same every year, I don’t want to send something that isn’t truthful.

My mother is mostly lovely and supportive. But I don't think I could buy a "world's best mum" card if we haven't gone through some sort of competitive process where she's assessed against all other mothers. I think she'd feel the same.

Very grateful to have lived long enough for mine to say “I was a bastard to you” and yes I choose Happy Mothers Day

I have this problem every year, I spend ages trying to find a card that doesn't have sugary OTT what a wonderful mother vibes

Last year I was in a card shop caught the eye of the assistants and asked ..where are the cards that say I'm only sending a card coz I have to

She said I know what you mean, I feel like that, and showed me a couple with no silly verse

I felt like this on Father’s Day. My parents were married for 49 years but I genuinely didn’t feel the cards represented my relationship with my Dad.
My mother was one of the best, the kindness lady full of love.
Now they’ve died I see that Dad was a product of his upbringing, affection didn’t come naturally for him. I probably should have tried harder.

I’m feel the same. It’ll just be a ‘happy mother’s day’ card from me.

Can’t remember the last time my parents phoned me to see how I am or just for a catch up. They also haven’t visited us for years and I sometimes wonder if they ever will again. I still make the effort to call and visit but not so often anymore.

My mum did less than the bare minimum and tbh she doesn’t even deserve a card. If I don’t bother it’s not worth the drama of her passive aggressive digs and her moaning to other family members (who shouldn’t have to put up with her BS)
so anyway I get her a generic jokey one with a just ‘love from grape’ inside.

You feel how you want to feel and that's valid!
Luckily in our house funny cards were the order of the day, no matter the celebration.