son becoming a chef

[marmaladejam1]

Am IBU to dissuade my year 10 son from becoming a chef. Main thing is they seem to die young, lots of drugs, terrible hours etc, also he has just tested in the top 3% of the state in Science, and I wonder if it would be a waste of his talents. Plus he is at selective high school and does very well, though does no homework.
Which is why I wonder ( as he just voluntarily made mini pavlovas) if that is where his heart lies. The pavlova were perfect. Crisp on the outside and soft in the middle. Swirled perfectly into large biscuit size. I'm off to eat another one but I do worry. The industry seems to be filled with drug use.

Being a chef is a perfectly good career. Your son doesn't have to be drawn into a drug culture (which exists elsewhere). Do you trust your son? I'd be happy if my child was a chef, assuming that's what made them happy.

Has he had any experience working in a professional kitchen? If not getting some might put him off if he is thinking along those lines because he enjoys cooking. Chefs do cook (of course) but it seems to me more like a really fast moving and pressured factory line than creating a meal at your own pace at home. And although menus might change seasonally, he would be cooking the same food every night over and over again.

My son became a chef straight from college. Worked in a Michelin star restaurant. Cut a long story short, it broke him. Lost his relationship, his home and ultimately his dream job. No drug use that we know of, but split shifts, long hours and cheffy tempers all took their toll on his young mind and body.

He recovered, slowly, and is now doing well in a totally different career. He now cooks and bakes for fun.

I would encourage your son to keep his options open, and gain some experience in a professional kitchen.

He’s only young. Encourage science, A-levels and he’ll probably change his mind. Enjoy the spoils!

Don’t dissuade him , but encourage the science part - science and food go together so well combining elements and looking at the effects temperatures have on ingredients . Heaps online and lots of books about the science of cooking.

Nothing wrong with being a chef btw but I think long term they are very unsociable unfamily oriented hours

Surely the best thing is for your DS to have found the thing he loves and is good at and to encourage and support that, so he can fulfil his potential? A teenage boy who’s bothered to make pavlovas is serious about it. The entire industry isn’t drug addled and dying young. That’s fear and ignorance, same as thinking all advertising people are coked up or all popstars will end up like Amy Winehouse. He’ll find out for himself what it’s like and enjoy it or not, but you can’t make him do something else just to ease your fears. The fact that you’ve paid for private school shouldn’t mean he has to do certain careers. More it should mean that you’ve given him the confidence to do what he’s good at. At least it’s an AI proof career that’s actually useful. I’d thinking of it like him becoming a good hair stylist. A talent that with hard work can be a passion for life, make a living and give a lot of happiness. If you’ve ever eaten in nice restaurants, you can’t be too averse to chefs. And I bet you enjoyed the pavlovas! Support him and see where it leads.

What about becoming a food scientist? He could combine science and his passion for cooking.

Sorry not in private school. Not in UK

I'm so sorry. This is the kind of thing I worry about. I hope your son is well and happy now.

There is drugs in the medical and legal professions as well as many others there is no legal or non sexual career i would discourage my child from

Especially when I would happily eat in a resturant but then have a problem if my child wanted to work in one? It's not alright for other people's children but mine is too precious to do it

That's not what I meant. Surely you know chefs are well known for taking cocaine and gosh know what else because of the terrible hours. I worry about my lawyer son but he will not be screamed at by a colleague. He works very long hours, but at home on his computer.

He can always cook as a hobby. Being a chef isn’t following a passion- it’s soul crushing. I would make him get a summer job in a (proper) kitchen if possible for him to see first hand.

In my experience law is full of screaming coke heads.

What an odd view you have of chefs OP. 😁

My friend's dd went to chef school. She worked in a very up market restaurant for three years. She had done mfl for a'levels and could speak French & German, and she went to run a school for chalet staff in the French Alps, teaching them all to cater for chalet guests and make fabulous cakes.
She ended up running all the chalet staff (and still running the pre-season cookery school). Then she came home when she wanted a family, and is partner in a restaurant in lake district.
No drugs, and no sign of dying young.

If he's truly passionate about it, don't dissuade him. He will resent you.

But he does need to know the reality - the hours are horrible, and you're working in a hot sweaty kitchen under pressure. It's not a job I would enjoy. Make sure he is exposed to the realities of the job/profession via shadowing or a job washing dishes, and if he is still keen after that, then let him have a go.

It hasn't done me any harm! Just tell to hold back on the swearing - for now anyway.

My son has a friend he met at uni. He wanted to be a chef, but his parents made him go to uni for a science degree. He worked a lot as a chef during holidays and ended up dropping out of uni in his third year and didn't get the degree. He's still a chef, but wasted a lot of money going to uni.

Personally, I'd be encouraging my son rather than worrying about something that may or may not happen! I think training to be a chef gives a person so many opportunities, especially if they want to travel and see the world.
Mind you, I'd also encourage the science stuff as, like a previous poster has said, science and cooking do work very well together.
You only have to see shows like MasterChef and The Great British Menu to see that being a chef can open up a whole new world for some people and not all of that world involves drugs!

He’s ten. Plenty of time to change his career between now and eighteen. Allow him to enjoy his cooking.

Also, as others have said. There’s plenty of food related courses at uni.

He's year ten so presumably 15 or 16

In a couple of years he'll make the connection between, qualifications, the world of work and the lifestyle that comes with better earning power. So will drop cooking to a hobby.

If he said he wanted to be a rock star or a roadie you might have a point, but being a chef is pretty mainstream….

Why not just let him do what he is passionate about? It's his choice and he has a long life ahead of him to change careers multiple times. I was very strong in sciences and languages at school. But I wanted a career in a beauty industry. Which is what I did despite everyone talking me out of it because I was "too clever". I had fabulous 15 years in a very fun and creative environment. Worked my way up to being an educator. Then, in my 30s changed direction and completed two degrees. One of them in clinical sciences. Started a new career in clinical work after graduation. I'm 42 now and I may pivot again in a few year's time because... why not?

My son started smoking weed and experimenting with other drugs after he started working in kitchens. If I could go back in time and stop him from working in hospitality I would.
My bright and lovely young son who proudly got his first job at 15 by asking the local restaurant if they needed a weekend KP is now addicted to weed and a heavy drinker and casual cocaine user just 3 years later.
I miss my old boy so much. I would discourage anyone from going into hospitality. The friends he’s made are wasters who spend their time stoned or coked up in work. All in debt. All lovely pleasant lads, always lovely to me, but it’s not the path I wanted. With my son’s first ever wages he came home 15 years of age, so proud with a bag of shopping, filled with treats for his younger siblings for the weekend. Nowadays he’s vaping, smoking, drinking and has burnt through his savings and constantly asking me for money.
We were so close, he had a great childhood, he was loved and supported, (he tells me everything, from sex life to drug use) and I support him. But whilst his colleagues and new friends are all in the trenches of addiction and stoner living, he doesn’t accept that he’s an addict wasting his life.
His friends from school are all in uni or apprenticeships.

Discourage kitchens. Just don’t take the risk. I would never have thought 3 years ago my lovely son would be struggling with addiction and the MH issues weed is causing him.

Let him follow his dreams. There’s drug use in every industry, not everyone succumbs.